To report this even though my dd could get in trouble?

[DannyOD]

I live in London. Very high rates of Covid and rising. It is DD’s best friend’s 21st birthday and she is having a party. We are not happy about her attending and have told her so but she is insisting on going. Her cousins were 18 and 21 this year and have managed without celebrating!! I am friends with her best friends Mum and have told her of my worries but she is all breezy about it saying they have a marquee so they can go in the garden (still not allowed). So WIBU to anonymously report the party even though it could get them all in trouble? Or should I just cross my fingers and hope for the best?

@HennyLenry

Oh deary deary deary deary deary deary me.

What has COVID turned people into? You'd shop your own daughter? Jeez, the brainwashing really worked on you.

Facepalm. The word brainwashing to describe someone who follows science and understands risk is really overdone. I can’t get over the number of people out there who are will proudly advertise the fact that there are ignorant of basic scientific literacy. That by itself is a bit embarrassing, but to then label someone as brainwashed if that person a) does have a scientific grounding or b) doesn’t have expertise knowledge themselves but is willing to listen to the experts, is just so wilfully arrogant.

It would be better if the marquee company had to give a list of their bookings to the local police.

@Echobelly totally agree with your post.

It’s possible that someone else will report it and then your DD faces a fine if caught there.

Be careful - I would report it OP...as you have posted you may have left yourself with no alternative. People who feel strongly enough may send screen shots of this thread to the police and you may get a call. To be clear, I haven’t and won’t report the thread but some people may.

@queenofknives

Are you telling me that if your family member was a serial killer or abusing children you wouldn't report them?

Obviously not. That bears literally no relation to what I said. (Btw, do you ever pause when you do this kind of dishonest misrepresentation of others' words, and ask yourself if this is who you really want to be? Is 'winning' really worth the price of dishonesty and manipulation? Do you ever reflect on what it says about your character, or your soul?)

Stop with the hyperbole. Yes that is an extreme example that has been used, but it follows the same rationale as you just laid out. No misrepresentation there, the poster is using your own logic against you.

Would you report a family member that was actively drink driving? If not, I’m judging your moral compass. They are putting themselves at risk of harm along with the wider community. The same goes for covid and hosting a party.

I really can't stand these people i.e. Party hosts who make life difficult for everyone else. The OP and her daughter shouldn't even have this dilemma.

Its called argument ad absurdum that that poster was using, and yes its a logical fallacy.

Your phone the police on your own child?

Ffs. What’s up OP wasn’t you invited..

Leave it hope for the best
Book a test if you can for your own dd for 2 days time. Tell her to isolate in her room on return to she gets result.
I let my dd have a GCSE results party in August in the brink of another lockdown but they all chipped together and paid for marquee so I could not have done that to everyone.

@SatishTheCat

Be careful - I would report it OP...as you have posted you may have left yourself with no alternative. People who feel strongly enough may send screen shots of this thread to the police and you may get a call. To be clear, I haven’t and won’t report the thread but some people may.

Oh Christ sakes!! As if!!

London is officially Tier 4 as of tomorrow morning.

I would 100% report!

Assuming your dd is aged 18+ give her an ultimatum- don't bother coming home if she attends the party due to the risk of infection to the household.

If you and dh can't convince her to not go, insist she packs clothes for 10 day isolation. Take her key off her and tell her she is not coming back in without a clear test result. It might make her think again.
You are in a horrible situation Op and I understand your predicament.

Are marquee hire companies even allowed to rent out marquees in Tier 3? (Let alone whatever Tier 4 turns out to mean).

I don't know if I'd report but I wouild be very clear with dcs that they shouldn't go. Will everyone else invited actually turn up? Imagine having your 21st and only a couple of people actually braving it to visit that marqee.

Maybe rather than threatening to report it yourself, you should raise the possibliity with dd, and with your friend who is the mum of dd's friend, that someone else - nqighbours or other families - might report and what the consequences may be. If they have a garden big enough to hold a hired marquee, I suppose they might not be too troubled by fines, but really.....

Does your dd live at home? Was she planning to come home for Christmas? Do you pay for things for her at all or is she financially independent already?

I'd find it hard to report to the police but I'd be furious. This has been such a cruel year for everyone, but at 21 there's every reason to think that there'll be a better time for parties again.

This is why the damn virus is spreading. People do things like this. With an infection rate of over 24%, it's pretty certain there will be at least one infected person there. That person will infect others. The virus is highly contagious, and there seems to be a new variant that is even more so.

Someone says 'Should I report it?' and they get a load of stuff about curtain twitchers. Ignore that, OP. Of course you should report it. You could save someone's life.

@Thespidersweb

Your phone the police on your own child?

Ffs. What’s up OP wasn’t you invited..

Oh grow up!

User's likening of party-going in London at the moment with drink driving is very apt.

When laws against drink driving - and about compulsory seatbelts - were first suggested, there were lots of complaints about the UK becoming a 'police state' and police 'limiting our freedom' etc etc etc. All by people who were too selfish or too stupid to think about the effect that their irresponsible behaviour might have on the rest of society.
Yet both those laws have saved countless lives and even more serious injuries.

Of course it's horrible not being able to do what we want, but surely we have to listen to what health care professionals are saying - and also to remember the tens of thousands -peoples' parents and other loved ones - who have already died. A great many of them might still be alive if selfish people had thought about others.

It's cheeky having a party. When other people haven't. Report them.

Its not the same as drinks driving. Not drink driving doesn't impact your life. I accept that a party isn't a necessity but for over a year, we've basically been on house arrest - the mental anguish and emotional distress caused by this shouldn't be glossed over.

@ForestNymph

Its called argument ad absurdum that that poster was using, and yes its a logical fallacy.

Yep.

Nazi Germany analogies are distasteful, but a friend says it’s younger middle class families he knows in London that are constantly breaking Covid rules.
The middle class arrogance of “
I’m alright, Jack” , like Cummings.
Marquees are not airy, so no excuse.

Definitely report. This affects all of us!

I know all about the MH implications of this, Ds has suffered so much this year! That’s why we must stop these gatherings, get on top of the spread of the virus snd by this time next year we might have some sense of normality again.

We’re not talking of someone whose spent all year by themselves here. We’re talking of someone who wants to go ahead with a 21st birthday party ffs! It’s all me, me, me isn’t it!

It is just as irresponsible as drink driving - spreading the virus kills people. I'll say it again; spreading the virus kills people.

To date, over 66,000 people have died of the virus in the UK.
That's many, many more than are killed by drunk drivers each year. One hundred times more, in fact. (On average 666 people are killed in drink driving accidents each year in the UK.)