To report this even though my dd could get in trouble?

[DannyOD]

I live in London. Very high rates of Covid and rising. It is DD’s best friend’s 21st birthday and she is having a party. We are not happy about her attending and have told her so but she is insisting on going. Her cousins were 18 and 21 this year and have managed without celebrating!! I am friends with her best friends Mum and have told her of my worries but she is all breezy about it saying they have a marquee so they can go in the garden (still not allowed). So WIBU to anonymously report the party even though it could get them all in trouble? Or should I just cross my fingers and hope for the best?

Instead of reporting why don't you just insist to dd that she can't go! This is called proper parenting!

[quote MobLife]**@ForestNymph* and @queenofknives*

The UK is suffering because of attitudes like yours

Come to work with me or one of my colleagues for a day in a London hospital and you'll soon change your tune[/quote]
Its been nearly a year now. People have had enough of it. Lockdowns were supposed to be a temporary measure to formulate a long term plan, the government hasn't done this.

I won't he hosting any parties myself but I certainly won't be grassing up anyone who does. Ridiculous system.

And I've had covid.

I certainly wouldn't report it, but I'd try to persuade DD not to go, probably unsuccessfully. Anyway, most likely one of the neighbours will report it, so I'd keep out of it.

Don’t we all want a more normal life next year!

How will that ever happen when people roll there eyes and call others curtain twitchers for being pissed off and reporting illegal gatherings!

There’s a fucking pandemic going on. Lots of people have missed out on ‘fun things’ this year, big birthdays, weddings etc, it’s hardly like Nazi German really is it! What a stupid thing to say!

Deal with your daughter ( ie the consequences her actions have for her contact with you and your opinion of her actions ) and point out that someone is highly likely to report them especially in the current situation of possible tier 4 restrictions. Hope that the organiser has 10 k for the fine.

I probably wouldn't report it but dd would be told she could not come home for 10 days if she attended. I would mean this and see it through. Not a punishment but to protect the rest of the household.

It’s their attitude that would piss me off too tbh. Like just “oh whatever” while so many ppl are still trying to follow the rules.

Normally I would not be on the side of grassing people up, but London is about to go into Tier 4 and it’s because of people like this hosting parties. I’ve followed the rules all fucking year and for what? So we can just have lockdowns forever?

Maybe it’s just my shitty mood today but I would report them

Well all know how long it’s been going on. But people deciding that the rules don’t apply to them isn’t going to do anything to help bring this mess to an end is it

We had a similar situation with ds earlier in lockdown. I simply told him that if he chose to go he needed to pack a bag for 2 weeks, find some where else to stay and isolate before he could come home. He decided not to attend the party.

@NoSleepTil

With attitudes like yours no wonder we are where we are

London is T3, it’s not allowed.

Personally I would be reporting if it gives ahead. And telling my 21 yr old if she goes she stays gone

@queenofknives

Oh ffs let them have some fun and mind your own business. I hate all this snooping and reporting on people. You would even report on your own child? Disgusting.

I don’t think it’s disgusting to prioritise public health ahead of the feelings of some selfish idiot who thinks they are above the law. I’m surprised that there are people who genuinely can’t see the bigger picture. It’s not like it’s some low risk activity that just happens to not comply with one of the rules. A big party of young people who more than likely live with parents who are higher risk is quite different to a socially distanced friend in the garden. I can’t believe people need to be told this. Yes, there are some people who like to curtain twitch, but this is a genuine public health risk. It needs reported.

Hopefully a neighbour reports it.

@NoSleepTil

You should mind your own business

This is OP's business as it is the business of anyone who lives in the UK and could either be exposed to the virus or denied a hospital bed because of other people's selfishness.

I really wouldn't do this to my daughter. I'm not sure how the police punishq covid but could she gain a criminal record for this? It would make certain jobs difficult for her to apply for. You've advised, she has made her own choice.

I’d report their plans beforehand tbh.

Perhaps someone will talk some sense into them!

Report to who?

Does DD live at home OP?

I don't like the idea of reporting people generally, but this is different, this is a super spreader event and goodness knows how many people will become infected due to selfish attitude of the party girl and the guests.

@EmmaWithTheGreatHair

I’d report their plans beforehand tbh.

Perhaps someone will talk some sense into them!

That’s a good idea. Prevention is the best option

For the record I agree that too much snooping and curtain twitching is awful, if my neighbour pops in to see her elderly mother when she's already had her brother and sister round on xmas day I certainly won't be calling 999. However having a party during a global epidemic with numbers rising and a new worse strain out is bloody ridiculously selfish.

With any crime there's a limit where you can look the other way (e.g. harmless neighbour occasionally smoking a join in their back garden) but at some point, especially when other people's lives are at risk when you have a responsibility to report it (e.g. neighbour getting stoned and driving off in their car at speed).

Looks like there’s a press conference at 4pm today announcing London and the SE heading into tier 4. This is just the start of the next lockdown!

[quote MobLife]**@ForestNymph* and @queenofknives*

The UK is suffering because of attitudes like yours

Come to work with me or one of my colleagues for a day in a London hospital and you'll soon change your tune[/quote]
Yeah let's bring about a society when family members report on each other to the government and the police. That'll be a healthy society for us all.

Id report. I think they’re incredibly selfish to host what could effectively be a superspreader event.

There’s a vast difference between reporting the neighbour for going out more than once in lockdown or having someone over to visit, and reporting a gathering of 20 plus people in a marquee where there will be practically no ventilation and no social distancing, and where the figures are rising out of control.

London is about to head into a new tier, tier4, which is equivalent to lockdown, and also speculation that the Christmas restrictions are going to be tightened, so I bloody well would report.

And I would tell my child that if she goes she doesn’t come home, and see it through.

@Oblomov20

Instead of reporting why don't you just insist to dd that she can't go! This is called proper parenting!

The friend is 21, so I assume OP’s daughter is a similar age. So would be difficult for OP to insist her adult daughter cannot go to a party.

The best OP can do, as other posters have suggested, is tell her daughter that she cannot visit for 14 days after the party. That might make her think twice if she was planning spending Christmas with OP.

OP, I also get frustrated with people flouting the rules, but I couldn’t bring myself to report anyone.

If it’s OK for Tobias Elwood, it’s OK for OP’s daughter, surely? Goose, gander...