TV for 6 year old? Unsolicited present...

[blessedfig]

It turns out dh's parents have got a tv and dvd player for ds to have in his room for Christmas - they dropped it all off yesterday and told us what it is, though it seems dh knew this was planned.

I think ds is too young for this and I really don't want to put it in his room. Dh says he had one in his room as a child and it helped him get to sleep, which to me isn't a great habit to be forming. We have had a few issues with ds getting out of bed and getting toys out over the last few months following him being poorly and getting out of routine, but it's not a massive issue imo - he's not tearing round the house or anything. Dh says it s an issue and tv would calm him down but I'd rather him be playing than lying in bed watching telly tbh. Also, I have got him an Alexa and was going to encourage him to us it to listen to audio books in the evening and now that will be redundant . I read to him now, which he likes so thought he'd like the audio books...

I don't want to fall out with parents in law over this but I'm annoyed they and dh have cooked this up behind my back. I'd like to put this new tv in the playroom and tell ds this is what it's for when he opens it. We have an older dd who only got a tv in her room when she was 12 so I see no need for ds to be having one at 6. Dh is insistent his parents have bought it for the bedroom so it's going in there...

AIBU?

You can use a DVD player on a tv without hooking it up to any channels. That's what my dds have. If you don't keep DVDs in the bedroom then the child can't watch tv.
It's handy for a movie night or if they have friends over.
I wouldn't allow unrestricted tv in a child's room.

Dh is insistent his parents have bought it for the bedroom so it's going in there...

Taking this stance would see it find it's way to the charity shop.

They don't get to decide what goes on in your house.

I'd put my foot down because this was all done secretly, and say playroom or nowhere.

Why does he have such an issue with your ds moving around his room if he wakes? If he's not coming out of the room or disturbing anyone else, surely it's up to him. He'll soon learn he's tired in the day and to stay in bed so he goes back to sleep.

Your DH sounds like a bit of a control freak tbh.

@LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella Yes - quite a few people in this thread were getting Alexas so their child could listen to audiobooks in bed

Imagine being in secondary school and not being allowed a TV until your 12+ 🤣

Having a tv or light on in a room your trying to sleep in is not condusive to good sleep patterns, and interfers with the hormones needed to be produced during the night

I had a tv in my room a bit older than your ds. I’ve never let my dc have one in their room. It creates really bad habits that are hard to break and is plain lazy.

I would stand your ground on this one. It either goes in the playroom or back to his parents.

I’m sure there are plenty of studies you can show him that explain why it is t a good idea

I have a 6 year old wouldn't be happy with this either, I would be firm that it's going in the playroom, that seems a good compromise and your audio book idea is great. YANBU. Pl

Do not put it in his room. Do not make any sort of compromise where it does end up in his room. An audible subscription and a way to listen to it would have Been a much better gift. Totally judging your in laws for thinking it's appropriate. Don't back down

I really dislike TV's in bedrooms. No way would I allow a six year old to have one, a teenager perhaps. I would be furious with my ILS if they had just gone out and bought a TV when my DD was younger but in your case it sounds like your DH knew or perhaps even suggested it?

I know that parents can disagree on certain issues but I would be putting my foot down on this issue and saying no. How will your DH make sure that your DS will not view anything inappropriate if he was to have unsupervised access to a TV? Perhaps point out this could be a difficult conversation with school if DS mentions a programme after the 9pm watershed.

@LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella DS has an Alexa in his room in to read audiobooks (and for music during the day). We don't use it instead of bedtime stories - we still have half an hour family time where we read together, then he reads to himself in bed. Then, occasionally he will listen to an audiobook to lull himself to sleep. It works very well for us.