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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TV for 6 year old? Unsolicited present...

186 replies

blessedfig · 19/12/2020 08:57

It turns out dh's parents have got a tv and dvd player for ds to have in his room for Christmas - they dropped it all off yesterday and told us what it is, though it seems dh knew this was planned.

I think ds is too young for this and I really don't want to put it in his room. Dh says he had one in his room as a child and it helped him get to sleep, which to me isn't a great habit to be forming. We have had a few issues with ds getting out of bed and getting toys out over the last few months following him being poorly and getting out of routine, but it's not a massive issue imo - he's not tearing round the house or anything. Dh says it s an issue and tv would calm him down but I'd rather him be playing than lying in bed watching telly tbh. Also, I have got him an Alexa and was going to encourage him to us it to listen to audio books in the evening and now that will be redundant Sad. I read to him now, which he likes so thought he'd like the audio books...

I don't want to fall out with parents in law over this but I'm annoyed they and dh have cooked this up behind my back. I'd like to put this new tv in the playroom and tell ds this is what it's for when he opens it. We have an older dd who only got a tv in her room when she was 12 so I see no need for ds to be having one at 6. Dh is insistent his parents have bought it for the bedroom so it's going in there...

AIBU?

OP posts:
Sh05 · 19/12/2020 14:39

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze
The whole point of the thread is that ops DH wants to use it as a sleeping aid. That's the main reason he has cooked up this plan with his parents.

Macncheeseballs · 19/12/2020 14:41

I wouldn't even let a 12 year old have one in their room

Goldencurtain · 19/12/2020 14:47

Just put your foot down. Your DH is being a lazy irresponsible parent, clearly he's got this from his own parents.

TheRealJeanLouise · 19/12/2020 14:53

Absolutely not. Show your DH some good articles on how blue light from screens affects sleep and I’m sure he’ll change his mind seeing as he seems to be struggling with DSs sleep habits. It’s a scientifically proven fact blue light from screens affects people’s sleep and sleep quality.

NowellSingWe · 19/12/2020 15:29

A TV and DVD player for a 6yo's bedroom isn't appropriate.

What did they get DD out of interest? Or is DS special?

olivesnutsandcheese · 19/12/2020 15:37

Just say oh how nice it will be for him to watch movies on it in the playroom.

Of course it's not a sleep aid for a 6 year old, everyone with half a brain cell knows that. Perhaps say that to DH and PILs as well

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 19/12/2020 15:38

I think putting it in the playroom is the best option. You can sell it to him by saying he’ll be able to watch it more than if it was in his room, and the programmes are better in the day.

JillofTrades · 19/12/2020 15:39

Yanbu op. It's completely inappropriate for your ds to have one. And it will cause endless problems for you. Stick with the books and audio books.
I would be so upset with dh if this happened. He should have discussed such a big decision with you.

Ericaequites · 19/12/2020 15:55

They are also more likely to be overweight or obese. That’s an American fact, but I’m sure it”s true on your side of the pond also.

Waveysnail · 19/12/2020 15:57

alexa is perfect for audio books as we use that on a nighttime. Put tv in downstairs room. ds can watch netflix or dvd in the morning

Original poster
blessedfig · 19/12/2020 16:08

Well just got in from a long walk and going to talk it through tonight as I really don't want it hanging over me. I'm not trying to make a drama out of a tv as someone said. It's more about dh making a big decision without me and not dealing with what I see as quite normal behaviour from a 6 yr old in a particularly effective way. Pil are normally lovely and I have no intention of saying anything to them- unless I do get it in the playroom and they say something, but they don't have form for being confrontational and aren't visiting us indoors atm, so I can't see it being an issue from that perspective really. They are giving dd money (similar amount to what I assume the tv cost I'd say) and there will be no complaints from her!

OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 19/12/2020 16:18

There's plenty of research that shows having a TV in a child's room has a detrimental effect on their sleep and their school performance. It's also linked to children being overweight.

Knowing all of that, your DH would be an eejit of the highest order to allow a TV in a 6-year-old's bedroom!

PurpleMustang · 19/12/2020 16:30

You know the real issue isn't the TV. Its that your husband has agreed this with his parents (they may not know you dont know) and you have been railroaded into by him saying its for his room. You two are not on the same parenting page and he has put this huge thing in the room which represents that

queenMab99 · 19/12/2020 16:44

My sons were 15, and that was too young. I had to cut the plug off with scissors quite regularly, the up side was that they became quite adept at changing plugs!

haggistramp · 19/12/2020 17:00

Both my ds had a telly in their own room from a young age, maybe 3/4ish. Youngesr ds is 10 now with no issues. But tv has a timer plug on it so goes off at certain time every night and ds knows its time to sleep or read a book if he is not tired.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 19/12/2020 17:05

The whole point of the thread is that ops DH wants to use it as a sleeping aid. That's the main reason he has cooked up this plan with his parents.

Confused and I’ve clearly said that’s not good and to talk to her husband. Without drama. Just talk to each other.

IEat · 19/12/2020 17:30

I would, I have.. I do not want to watch Cbeebies at 7am!

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/12/2020 18:27

Surely its far healthier to get up and focus on doing something else for a short while if you can't get to sleep, than to learn to rely on a TV to put you to sleep.

Pretty certain thats what my GP told me to do when I had sleep issues years ago - go and do something else for a bit, then try again later.

Also if the OP's DP thinks a kid quietly playing in his room is annoyingly noisy, surely the TV is also going to be annoyingly noisy?

WhatDoHedgehogsSay · 19/12/2020 18:33

Does it matter if he plays if he’s happy and quiet? What time does he settle? Does he have a bedtime routine that’s calm? Or try a weighted blanket, lamp, stories, get the Calm app. It sounds like DH can’t be bothered to address it and thinks the tv will just sort it.

TheRubyRedshoes · 19/12/2020 18:45

Dreadful op and you can't police what he watches either

InkieNecro · 21/12/2020 09:59

No way. My ex husband introduced a tablet at bedtime to my then 2 year old. When I finally left him, it took months for me to break that habit. He was up randomly in the night watching it and then falling back asleep, he was always ratty and tired despite still having daytime naps (which then turned into more tablet time).

Since removing it, he is allowed it first thing in the morning after 7 and that's it. He sleeps so much better and goes to sleep faster, plus he's happy in the daytime.

Your husband shouldn't be trying to force your son to be dependent on a television for sleep, and 6 year olds don't usually self regulate their screen time. He will sleep badly and be a total grump all day.

MinesAPintOfTea · 28/12/2020 16:48

For those who gave an Alexa for bedtime stories, beware www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4118410-How-do-I-stop-Alexa-reading-my-filth-out-loud-to-kids-etc

EternalOptimist7 · 28/12/2020 16:52

Tvs don’t belong in bedrooms full stop.

Lookslikerainted · 28/12/2020 17:16

No way, I’d be sending it back and not accepting it at all.

LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella · 29/12/2020 08:26

[quote MinesAPintOfTea]For those who gave an Alexa for bedtime stories, beware www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4118410-How-do-I-stop-Alexa-reading-my-filth-out-loud-to-kids-etc[/quote]
Is this really a thing? Alexa reading bedtime stories to children??

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