Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TV for 6 year old? Unsolicited present...

186 replies

blessedfig · 19/12/2020 08:57

It turns out dh's parents have got a tv and dvd player for ds to have in his room for Christmas - they dropped it all off yesterday and told us what it is, though it seems dh knew this was planned.

I think ds is too young for this and I really don't want to put it in his room. Dh says he had one in his room as a child and it helped him get to sleep, which to me isn't a great habit to be forming. We have had a few issues with ds getting out of bed and getting toys out over the last few months following him being poorly and getting out of routine, but it's not a massive issue imo - he's not tearing round the house or anything. Dh says it s an issue and tv would calm him down but I'd rather him be playing than lying in bed watching telly tbh. Also, I have got him an Alexa and was going to encourage him to us it to listen to audio books in the evening and now that will be redundant Sad. I read to him now, which he likes so thought he'd like the audio books...

I don't want to fall out with parents in law over this but I'm annoyed they and dh have cooked this up behind my back. I'd like to put this new tv in the playroom and tell ds this is what it's for when he opens it. We have an older dd who only got a tv in her room when she was 12 so I see no need for ds to be having one at 6. Dh is insistent his parents have bought it for the bedroom so it's going in there...

AIBU?

OP posts:
Tavannach · 19/12/2020 12:30

Nope to the tv.
You have to have a talk with your DH about how you parent your children. Outsourcing the acquisition of a tv to his parents to help your DS sleep, when it will do the opposite, really isn't on.

LightDrizzle · 19/12/2020 12:33

This is one of those parenting decisions that has to be made jointly and with right of veto for the parent advocating the status quo or most conservative option.

  • TV in bedroom
  • age for piercings when a minor
  • dangerous sports and activities
  • age bf/gf can stay over in bedroom
My Dds were teenagers before they got a TV in their rooms. I’d never allow it at 6. We don’t have one in our bedroom although DH would quite like one, as screen use is known to cause poor sleep. You have the perfect compromise in the playroom. I would be incandescent if my DH were to “put his foot down” on such an issue. It’s particularly galling as it seems it at least partly because DS’s current sleep pattern glitch is impacting on him, - DH, so it’s totally selfish. It is not in your son’s best interest. Stand firm and don’t be bullied.
twinkleprincess2020 · 19/12/2020 12:38

I had a TV at that age as I had a Mega Drive for my 6th Birthday.
Because of back then it being 4 tv stations it wasnt used that much as a TV.
If you maybe give strict rules on time it can be turned on/what channels, and tell him you'll remove it if he breaks the rules?

Tangledtresses · 19/12/2020 12:45

No way
I have a 6 yr old and he would watch it all night if he had one in his room!
We have a CD player with story cds and he can listen to that drifting off... it works very well and gives something to focus on whilst winding down.

Sexnotgender · 19/12/2020 12:48

YANBU, my nearly 17 yo doesn’t have a tv in her room and neither do we. 6 is absolutely bonkers.

soundsystem · 19/12/2020 12:49

Absolutely not! (I have a 6yo). In a playroom or similar maybe but definitely not in a bedroom.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 19/12/2020 12:50

Mine had a tv in their room from young they would watch fireman sam and crappy in the night garden. we were in a 2 bed flat so no playroom or anything. Never caused any issues, they never moaned to watch it at night or anything. Simply wasn't a big deal.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 19/12/2020 12:52

They still read every night. Loved books. They went through a daze of having audio book DVDs which was nice. Wayyyyy before alexa could read them to you.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 19/12/2020 12:52

Faze*

ekidmxcl · 19/12/2020 12:54

I love watching TV as much as the next person but absolutely hate them in bedrooms. I feel as though I can smell that staticky/techy smell and I just don’t find it peaceful. My teens don’t have or want them in their rooms either, despite also loving gaming/TV.

Seeing as your 12yo has one in her room, you might find it settles your 6yo at night if it’s something appropriate on. It’s hard to get 6yos to listen to audio books when there’s something better on offer. Could you try the audio book in the car?

I agree your dh and pils shouldn’t have cooked this up behind your back if they knew it was against your wishes.

ScrapThatThen · 19/12/2020 12:55

Would his parents be embarrassed or pleased that their present has caused marital strife? I'd be inclined to tell them.

KeyWorker · 19/12/2020 12:59

I wouldn’t allow a tv in my daughters room (aged 6 next month) I don’t think I’d consider it until aged 12+. Do you have a play room it could go in? I would absolutely want to avoid forming the habit of falling asleep with the tv on too.

Elfieishere · 19/12/2020 12:59

@ScrapThatThen

Would his parents be embarrassed or pleased that their present has caused marital strife? I'd be inclined to tell them.
The son knew about it. It’s his fault. I wouldn’t embarrass myself by telling his parents that something as small as a tv has caused problems in my marriage.
cakecakecheese · 19/12/2020 13:00

I used to be married to someone who needed the TV on to get to sleep. This caused so many arguments as I need peace and quiet to sleep. So although your husband may think it's an easy solution to getting your son to sleep it could end up causing a life long habit.

LastChristmas20 · 19/12/2020 13:01

Nooooo. 6 is far too young. And I'm pretty chill with screen time compared to a lot.

I got a TV for my room the summer before I started secondary school.

But I worry about doing the same for my daughter as now all the TVs have YouTube etc on so it's a bit more of a risk.

luckylavender · 19/12/2020 13:13

I'd be cross

SilverOtter · 19/12/2020 13:17

Nope. Put your foot down. I don't allow my 8 year old to have a TV etc in his room, I figure there's time enough for him to hibernate in there when he's a teenager!

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 19/12/2020 13:37

It’s just a TV. Personally I’d let him have if I’m his bedroom with some rules but don’t let it be used as something he falls asleep to.
My kids had TVs in their rooms from a young age. They often watched a film in the evening or onSaturday morning before we went out. A TV doesn’t have to cause a problem. My kids still played and read in their rooms.
Equally, if you want it in the playroom, just do that. It’s your decision, he’s your child and it’s your house. I don’t see any need for any drama, talk to your husband, tell your in-laws, it’s not a huge life decision. People seem to want drama in their lives and Mumsnet is very against TVs in bedrooms and often living rooms. 😬 In real life, TVs are not an issue. 🤷🏻‍♀️

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 19/12/2020 13:40

We have never ever had tv in any bedrooms. Its totally unnecessary.

But then I dont think I would have an alexa in a childs bedroom either - too uncontrolled what they are going to request. There are childrens audio book players that I would consider more suitable for a child of 6.

shamus2020 · 19/12/2020 13:46

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze totally agree, just no need for this much drama over a tv Confused

Crumbleandcake · 19/12/2020 13:59

Look up the guidelines on blue light and screen time for children.

No one needs a TV in their bedroom.

theparalelluniverseoftier3 · 19/12/2020 14:15

Say thank you but no thank you and send it back

AndThenTheDayBecomesTheNight · 19/12/2020 14:19

Putting a TV in a 6yo's bedroom with the intent of making him dependent on it to get to sleep - so he, the parent, can have an easier time - is really shocking parenting, tbh. It would not be happening on my watch.

DimidDavilby · 19/12/2020 14:28

TV is definitely not the answer to sleep issues! Quite the opposite.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 19/12/2020 14:36

My 8 year old has one in her room but only for weekend movie nights with her little sister. Definitely not for regular use so I would put it in the playroom like you suggested (we don't have that option).