Or is this message inappropriate?

[messagemonkey]

I'm currently off work with covid one of my colleagues was asking in a team WhatsApp how I was doing, I said I was much better and in mentioning loss of taste etc I mentioned that I'd been off food a bit and had lost some weight, it was said quite jokingly in the context of the conversation.

Anyway, one of my colleagues messaged me out of the group chat to say he's glad I'm feeling better and that I definitely don't need to lose weight. He's my mentor as I only started in September and although the same job I did before it's a different department. He has messaged me separately from the group chat before but generally about work, the odd are you having a nice weekend type thing, we're not overly friendly. I replied thanks and that the weight thing was only said jokingly.
Then he replied, I'd say your body is about perfect in my opinion.
I feel really uncomfortable with that second part of the message. I haven't replied and I'm really not sure if I should or not. Part of me wants to say that's inappropriate I'd rather you not message me like that, but am I being over dramatic?

We're both in relationships too. I've got a partner and two young dc, he's around 10 years older than me and married with dc.

Yeah. I've no issue with the 'you don't need to lose weight' but the 'your body is perfect' thing is wildly inappropriate.

Message him back and say you'd rather he not make comments about your body.

Very inappropriate. Yuck

Ignore it

The first message no.
The second message yes.

Yep, he's testing the waters. It is distasteful.

I'd ignore unless he makes a habit of saying inappropriate stuff. But yes it's not on really

He's a creep.

I'd message back "that's a really inappropriate and unprofessional thing to say to a colleague. Please don't comment on my body again."

Yes it’s inappropriate - and as much as I’d like to tell him so, I think if it was me I would just ignore it to save any awkwardness at work.
You ignoring him should tell him all he needs to know - you’re not interested. I would take a screenshot though just on the small chance he becomes harassing further down the line and you need evidence.

Yep inappropriate. He’s dangling his hook to see what’s biting.

Thanks, I wasn't sure if I was reading it wrong. I've not had much sleep and still aren't 100%. He's always seemed really genuinely nice and not the kind I'd expect to try anything on.

I might just ignore it and hopefully he gets the message

His second message is sexual harassment

Just in case anything further happens (hopefully not!) please take a screenshot of it so you have it as evidence.

Like I say, hopefully you'll never need it but best to document everything...

I'll take a screenshot. There isn't a innocent reason to send that is there? I've been trying to think if we've ever discussed anything and he thinks it's a joke or something. Honestly I really wouldn't expect him to be sleazy he's usually very professional.

I agree - not appropriate for a married man to say to a woman, let alone to a colleague.

Agree with the others, he’s testing the waters and instigating a totally inappropriate conversation if it’s not something you want.
Ignore it if it’s not welcome, that’s a strong enough message and will hopefully make him feel more uncomfortable than he’s made you feel.

Totally inappropriate - the second message. Ignoring often gets viewed as tacit approval - I know it shouldn’t, but it does or at least can. Personally, I’d either address it directly as Toes suggested or report immediately to HR with a copy of the message. In any case, it needs to be documented incase it continues as it often does in these situations.

First message fine, second message hugely inappropriate.

Screenshot it. I'm not sure what you should send back, I think ignoring is good but equally he shouldn't get away with it! What about a spin on the classic Mumsnet "did you mean to be so rude", eg "did you mean to come across so inappropriately".

Is he tall and bald?

He's definitely trying his luck. Very creepy and inappropriate.

He just sent another message saying
Sorry, I probably shouldn't have sent that.

I think I'll reply, no it's inappropriate.

@messagemonkey

I'll take a screenshot. There isn't a innocent reason to send that is there? I've been trying to think if we've ever discussed anything and he thinks it's a joke or something. Honestly I really wouldn't expect him to be sleazy he's usually very professional.

Kinda. Maybe but its a hard reach

Hm, seems like he tried his luck but you didn't bite or respond how he hoped you would, so now he's backpedaling.

I would ignore it on this occasion. Not an innocent comment but I think one chance at moving on without awkwardness for your own sake.

Definitely screenshot.

If it happens again, tell him it’s inappropriate sharpish and mention you had ignored previous such comments In the hope he would take the hint.