AIBU in laws spell dd's name wrong - she's 5!!

[Sandiepatterson]

My daughter has a very traditional name that can be spelt two ways, let's say Beatrice and not Beatrix. We also shorten it, let's say Bebe and not BB. (Those are not her names)
AIBU to think that my husband's family should know the correct spelling by now? She is 5 now. AIBU to (gently) remind them of the correct spelling?
We have the usual round of Christmas cards and it gets me every time! Her birthday cards are wrong too....

YANBU at all. That's really inconsiderate of them. Definitely remind them.

I'm in my 30's and my Gran (who I'm very close to) still spells my name wrong - classic name so nothing odd, think Ann /Anne.

The weirdest thing is she only does it sometimes, e.g. never in texts but always in cards.

I've given up correcting her!

"FOR FUCKS SAKE MIL, HER NAME IS ALEX NOT ALICE"
Every damn time.
Is it a genuine mistake or is it a purposeful show of disrespect? Doesn't matter really, she still needs correcting.

Yanbu at all we have the same with the in-laws
My DDs name on her birth certificate is Maddison but has been known as Maddie since weeks old she’s now 10 and they put Maddy don’t know why but it gives me the rage 😂

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not disrespectful, it’s not malice, it’s not them trying to get on your nerves. As long as they are calling her by the correct name, the spelling really doesn’t matter.

We have a niece, Isabel. I have to look it up every time to check she’s not Isabelle. Ditto the shortened Issy/Izzy. I probably get it wrong on occasion, but I try my best. I doubt they are doing it to annoy you, they just think that is how you spell it. How could you gently remind them?

My DD is 14 and my family still get her name wrong. They love her and just don't think !

Hmmm part of me thinks this is the roadkills you take when you choose a name that can be spelt in various ways. Dh always has to check his Godson’s name spelling every time he writes a card for him. I have a nephew with a similar name and I doubt myself every time I write it down.

I'd deal with it now - under the guise of her learning to read and write her own name.

It irritates me slightly every time BIL spells my DS’s name with an O rather than a U but never enough to actually say anything to him.

My (now ex - I’m divorced) SIL did this.

Spelled DD’s name wrong on every single card she ever sent her.

Dd was 13 when SIL had son and she ranted at his 1st birthday that people couldn’t spell his name and it wasn’t hard and how rude and horrible not to know how to spell a child’s name. And she had spelled it correctly on the invites.

She really went off on one.

It was just the nicest thing to stand there smiling and go “I know exactly how you feel. You have spelled DDs name incorrectly every single time despite me spelling it on every card I ever sent you “.

BIL used to do this with DS... until he went to their wedding when he was 4 and a half and his (very short/simple) name was spelt incorrectly at the place setting - he took the place card and went up to BIL and said, "Excuse me Uncle BIL, my name is spelt ABCDE not ABCDF"
BIL apologised - problem solved!

I'd leave it - I'm sure your DC will resolve it anyhow if it's an issue...

@missyB1

Hmmm part of me thinks this is the roadkills you take when you choose a name that can be spelt in various ways. Dh always has to check his Godson’s name spelling every time he writes a card for him. I have a nephew with a similar name and I doubt myself every time I write it down.

But the fundamental difference is that your DH checks the spelling!

YANBU OP, it may not be purposeful or malicious, but it is 100% disrespectful. Perhaps one (slightly passive aggressive) angle would be to send a note along the lines of: “now DD is reading/writing, we would really appreciate it if you could check and spell her name correctly, to avoid confusing her”.

JustLikeStitch you made many assumptions there imo...

As long as they are calling her by the correct name, the spelling really doesn’t matter.

But it's not the correct name. I have a DC who has a name which can be spelled three or more ways. I don't like any of the variants except the one I chose .... and nor does he. Getting it wrong is acceptable from a casual acquaintance or someone with eg dyslexia but it's not acceptable from a close relative.

We have similar my BIL and my grandmother both used to incorrectly spell my dd's name. We didn't fuss about it and laughed it off, bit did tell them - how else would they know? Once she was old enough to read she would tell them herself thinking it was hysterical. Funnily enough it sunk in then!

My mom still spells my 19- year olds name incorrectly, just the last letter. I think I just used to tell her but haven’t for years. I know she adores him so I tell myself it’s just a spelling error. I’d be shocked if she spelt it correctly now.

We have a Karen, Karon and Karan in my DH family.

We have an Isabel, Isabelle and Isobell(e?) among my family and friends.

I have to double check every time and I'm sure I've accidentally got it wrong on occasions.

My Dad still spells my Brothers name Jhon. He can't get his head round the fact that it's John.

Mine do this. It's not intentional.

Now is the perfect time to correct them because she’s 5! She’s learning to read and write so you can say it’s confusing her by it not being spelt correctly! You shouldn’t have to lie, but at least it doesn’t make it awkward.

YANBU. My name can be spelt lots of ways and it's always been spelt wrong from as long as I can remember. It's just sheer laziness, really.

If anyone starts doing it with my two kids I'm going to start purposely spelling their names wrong in return 😂. Too many years of it!

My grandpa spelled my name wrong until the day he died. It didn't bother any of us. It annoyed me when anyone else did it but we let grandpa away with it

I decided to use one of my kids middle name as the information thing on signing into my bank account. You can spell it two ways, I get it wrong every time, I don't know why, I can tell you how to spell it, I can tell you why we chose that spelling but for some reason my fingers just won't do it. Fortunately he doesn't know, well unless he's on MN and he's spotted me.

We have family member Chloe, but we just laugh at the various spellings our family give, Cloe, Chole, Cheo, Cleo and even Coe.

My son is Alex, my late dead Dad always called him Alec.