AIBU in laws spell dd's name wrong - she's 5!!

[Sandiepatterson]

My daughter has a very traditional name that can be spelt two ways, let's say Beatrice and not Beatrix. We also shorten it, let's say Bebe and not BB. (Those are not her names)
AIBU to think that my husband's family should know the correct spelling by now? She is 5 now. AIBU to (gently) remind them of the correct spelling?
We have the usual round of Christmas cards and it gets me every time! Her birthday cards are wrong too....

My friend is called Anne i asked Anne with an e? She said it doesnt matter even my mom spells it both ways

Oh I don’t know. My cousin’s wife has a name like Alison, which she shortens to - could be Ally, Ali or Aly.
My cousin has a name like Nicola and is known as - Nicki or Nicky, while her daughter is a name like Rebecca and is either Becky or Becci. There are three Isobel/Isabelle/Isabel/Isabellas in the family some of whom are known as Bella, some Izzy, and there is a Finlay or Finley.
Every year I leave these cards until last because I can’t remember how to spell their names. Sometimes they used to end up not getting a card. Now I just think - if I get it wrong, I get it wrong.
I have a friend who has spelt my son’s name wrong ever since he was born, she uses the girl’s version. Doesn’t bother me particularly.

My aunt has spelled my name wrong for 45 years and counting.

It'll happen to her all her life, it's happened to me all of mine, it's just one of those things.

@slipperywhensparticus

My friend is called Anne i asked Anne with an e? She said it doesnt matter even my mom spells it both ways

You know Ann Withernee as well?! Small world

I went to school with three Catherines who each spelt their names differently. I am still friends with one and to this day I know how each one spells Kathryn and Cathy.

It’s not hard. Sounds like they are doing it deliberately

I'm 27 and my family still spell my name wrong!!

YANBU. We never shorten our DS’s name, we just don’t want to but IL’s shorten it on every single card and it’s really irritating. They do it to me as well tbf and I’ve always used the full name. It’s just rude.

@HelloDulling

We have a niece, Isabel. I have to look it up every time to check she’s not Isabelle. Ditto the shortened Issy/Izzy. I probably get it wrong on occasion, but I try my best. I doubt they are doing it to annoy you, they just think that is how you spell it. How could you gently remind them?

Funnily enough my Goddaughter is Isabel and I am never confident of the spelling and check every time. Same with the Izzy part. Just one of those names

My daughter's name can be spelt multiple different ways yet we still have people, mostly friends rather than family, who spell it incorrectly. It's a little annoying but would be more annoying if it were my MIL.

My grandads never gotten mine or my sisters names right were 27 and 23. We've just accepted it now. He also spells my kids names wrong but his hearts in the right place. End of the day it still shows he's thinking of us and that's the more important thing

I’m 53 and spell my abbreviated name with -ie. my mother spells it -y. Every time. This is one of the many reasons that I am low contact.
It’s rude and thoughtless and your husband /partner should tell his family.

My name's Alex, short for Alexandra. My grandparents insist on calling me Alexander and even write it as that. My husband is called Rob, never Robert but they write his name as and call him Roberto or Roberta! The kids all have traditional names and they somehow spell them wrong too. I send cards out early every year so if anyone sends them to us, they have no reason to mispell. I correct my GPs every time we get a card or they call us the wrong name and they ignore it. One of those things we've learnt to live with, it's still annoying though, especially when the kids were young and the GPs would share the baby names with friends and say it wrong. They even announced DS1's birth in their local paper and spelled it completely wrong.

this is the roadkills you take when you choose a name that can be spelt in various ways.

That would seriously limit the choice of names anyone could give their child. I feel the OP's pain, though. My dad's parents spelled my name with a y rather than an ie until the day they died (when I was into my 40s)n though it may have been malice on their parts as they hated my mum and all her choices so much!

My nan has been spelling my nan wrong for 30 years, I look forward to the Christmas card because it’s a different spelling every year it’s become a bit of a running joke now.. my nan is a bit scatty tbf.

I know an Anne Withernee too!

My adored aunt and godmother spelled my name wrong every year of my life until she passed away when I was 17. She was kind, funny, eccentric, generous and wonderful. She just couldn't spell my name. Did it matter? Nope.

I'm sort of glad now that my handwriting is so atrocious that no one would be able to tell how I spell their name.

Beatrix and Beatrice are two different names with different pronunciations.

Is it a miss spelling of her full name or are they calling her another name that sounds similar?

Unless there is a huge backstory here and they are being deliberately obtuse, I really think life is too short to get upset about this. Who cares?

My name is double barrelled and the second name is Jane. My mother always writes Jayne in cards despite being the one to choose the name!

Likewise a lot of people spell my ds2 name wrong, I just let it go.

Not quite the same, but similar. I have a two syllable name. DH’s family still cannot pronounce it correctly and we’ve been together for nearly 20 years. They use the derivative because ‘it’s so much easier’. Well, yes, it might be. But it would still be better to learn how to say your DIL’s two syllable name

My inlaws spelt and SAID my child’s name wrong for years. It used to really annoy me but my child started correcting them when they were about 6 and it seems to have stopped.

YANBU!

My FIL spells DD1's name a different way every single time. Her name is one with various spellings naturally but we made.itnclear which one we were going with and told him in a text. Impossibly wouldn't be so bothered if he stuck to one version even if it was wrong. He just picks whichever version he feels like on the day.

Fortunately, my MIL is the one that does all the cards and she pays attention/double checks. It's not hard to look back at cards/texts to figure out the way to spell it.

That’s astounding Esmee

My Dad spells DS' name wrong, DS corrects him now.

I have a name that can be shorterned so many different ways and because I kept chopping and changing depending on where I was in my life, I am fairly sure my postman is uncertain how many people actually live in my home, because they are not all obvious from one name. Even my two siblings use to different spellings.