AIBU in laws spell dd's name wrong - she's 5!!

[Sandiepatterson]

My daughter has a very traditional name that can be spelt two ways, let's say Beatrice and not Beatrix. We also shorten it, let's say Bebe and not BB. (Those are not her names)
AIBU to think that my husband's family should know the correct spelling by now? She is 5 now. AIBU to (gently) remind them of the correct spelling?
We have the usual round of Christmas cards and it gets me every time! Her birthday cards are wrong too....

I have such a plain name and I ha one Aunt who spelt it in a long convaluted way every year (but managed to get my sisters 9 letter unusual girls name right every time. Can't say it every bothered me other than to make me laugh

My DD has a 4 letter name, one common spelling. None of DH’s family have spelt it correctly in 17 years. We just laugh at cards when she gets them now.

I''ve got an unusual variant of a common name (think Sara instead of Sarah). What I have learnt is that spelling of names is really important to some people, and not important at all to others. Some people who have known me my whole life spell it wrong, even though they have seen it written correctly thousands and thousands of times - on every email, on FB etc. I think that it has just 'set' in the minds that it's spelled one way and they don't notice evidence to the contrary.

What does your DH think? I'd leave it to him to correct them.

Personally it's not a hill I'd choose to die on. If you have a name with two spellings then you are going to experience this throughout life. I'd point it out once then shrug and ignore it. And I type as someone whose ILs used to write DS' name wrong every time. A completely different name eg his name is Trevor they wrote Thomas in his cards. It wasn't malicious. They called him the correct name in person. It just didn't translate into their cards

Some members of my DH's family have consistently misspelled my name for 20 years in cards, turning my female name into a male name. It annoys me but I've never come up with a way to get them to stop.

Aloha - I predict my inlaws will be the same. I am Welsh and inlaws have repeatedly told me I mustn't give my children Welsh names as it's 'cruel' (I have a Welsh name, so do most of my relatives).

If I called my child Harri, Tomos, Jac or Alys I expect they will spell it as Harry, Thomas, Jack and Alice instead.

I think it's lovely you have used a Welsh spelling for your DC's nickname

My sister cannot spell my sons name. But she’s dyslexic and it’s an unusual spelling but if I mention it to her she’d be hurt/feel bad and my son understands and isn’t overly bothered so, as it’s not hurting anyone I let it go.

Magpie is your name Frances by any chance?

Forgot to add but absolutely say to mil etc if it upsets you,

My grandfather did this but I thought it was quite sweet as the wrong spelling he used was actually the name of a cake manufacturer.

I used to work with someone who spelled everyone's name wrong. Jayne became Jane, Karl became Carl, Hellen became Helen and Racheal became Rachael! She was a nice if eccentric lady but I think she disapproved of the spellings!

My grandfather used to spell my brother's name wrong all the time. Think Alan instead of Alun. (Not his name) my brother used to think it was really sweet as it wasn't done on purpose. He has been dead about 14 years now and we still to this day reminisce about it.

Magpie is your name Frances by any chance?

Or Lindsey or Hilary perhaps

actually - thinking about it, my late DM always spelt DD2s name wrong - it's a common name but with about 4 different ways to spell it, think Catherine, Katherine, Katharine, Kathryn.... not a big deal in the greater scheme of things.

My dear dear DIL has a name that can be spent two ways, ' ollie or ' olly. If I don't check my address book I get it wrong every fucking time. Not coz I don't love her, or don't give a fuck about her. I genuinely can't remember.

So, do you get your book out and check or not bother?

Married 25 years, MIL still spells my name wrong. It is a very common name, spelt the 'normal' common way. Think Sally, she spells it Sallie. This year she excelled and spelt our surname on our Xmas card wrong - it's her surname too

My FiL manages to spell at least one of our names wrong (family of 4) every year. He used to do it to my SiL and her kids too so we know it's not personal, just not sure if its deliberate or if he actually gets confused.

@Crazycakelady17

Yanbu at all we have the same with the in-laws My DDs name on her birth certificate is Maddison but has been known as Maddie since weeks old she’s now 10 and they put Maddy don’t know why but it gives me the rage 😂

I have the same thing with my daughter. She’s 22 and my sister always spells her name wrong, as does my friend. They’ve known her since she was born. It’s definitely annoying but I’ve never corrected them. I probably should have but it seems too late now🤭

Help your daughter to decorate a Christmas card and a bookmark or something and write love from daughter's name. Say to in-laws look how clever she is she's learnt to spell her name.... She can spell it out for them numerous times and then correct them when they get in wrong in her own sweet way like 5 years do .

I'd get your husband to mention it. In the context of 'now she is old enough to read the cards can you make sure its right so she doesn't get confused

It’s really annoying when people can see your name on your email signature or cards you’ve sent and still spell it wrong. I get this all the time from acquaintances and colleagues but it must be infuriating when it’s family. One letter, but I dislike the other way and it’s not my name!

My friend still addresses birthday cards for my 8yr old son to Alexandra not Alexander.

Arrggghh lots of shared frustration obviously!!

I've had a chat with DH and we are going to mention it to them, we think it's only fair on our dd in the long run.

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Xxx

Raisin and Tidy, one of those, yes!

My nephew is 8 and o need to double check the spelling before sending cards. It’s not deliberate but these things happen. I also get it occasionally with my dd 🤷‍♀️

Yeah, los of shared frustration!!I have a short easy name (oddly enough my late DPs chose it because they hated names being shortened) and my Hs brother used to add on letters, telling me that was how it was "meant" to be spelled, so after countless years, I added these letters to everyone of their names on the Christmas card, it stopped. Various people shorten my DHs name, to something which I hate, to me its cosy, lazy, a nickname, and you should ask people if this is OK, (Its NOT) another friend has exactly the same name and no-on shortens his.