AIBU in laws spell dd's name wrong - she's 5!!

[Sandiepatterson]

My daughter has a very traditional name that can be spelt two ways, let's say Beatrice and not Beatrix. We also shorten it, let's say Bebe and not BB. (Those are not her names)
AIBU to think that my husband's family should know the correct spelling by now? She is 5 now. AIBU to (gently) remind them of the correct spelling?
We have the usual round of Christmas cards and it gets me every time! Her birthday cards are wrong too....

@Sobeyondthehills

My Dad spells DS' name wrong, DS corrects him now.

I have a name that can be shorterned so many different ways and because I kept chopping and changing depending on where I was in my life, I am fairly sure my postman is uncertain how many people actually live in my home, because they are not all obvious from one name. Even my two siblings use to different spellings.

*two not to

I am 55 and there are several family members who still spell my name wrong!

If frequent contact I can remember the Ann and the Anne, (I always think of her as ANNIE)
But the Tracy that we occasionally meet defeats me, I would be so confident - and wrong!!!
It mattered because sometimes I hade to write name badges for people at a meeting.

MIL still spells my DD's name wrong and she's now 22! I gave up correcting her years ago.

One of mine gets misspelt by everyone, it's a running joke that we can't wait for Christmas cards to see how it will be spelt by who. We don't care, their family love them so it's really not a big deal.

I worked with someone like this.

Repeatedly called me wrong name (i.e. Annie not Ann). I gave up correcting her in the end. Very tempted to do the same back but managed to rise above it.

I'd have to say something. Thank her for the card (or whatever) and then say that you can't help but notice she is getting the name wrong. Maybe write it down and pass her the piece of paper. She is either very forgetful or doing it on purpose.

My first H was called Ray, we divorced over 40 years ago!
I have been married to DH for 40+ years, I have a relative who still sends a Christmas card to Hazel and Ray, despite calling DH his correct name when she meets him...go figure?
Perhaps some people get some sort of brain ache/freeze when they write cards?

Say here, only DD is nearly 16

ITS Hanna not Anna - on all he personalize f’in gifts

If it's bothering you, YABU to ask if YABU to tell them!

Just remind them. They're making a mistake repeatedly (like we all do if nobody corrects us), with no nastiness or ulterior motive. A couple of gentle reminders will do it. Why is it a big thing?

@MrsWooster, maybe your mum is annoyed that you spell your name wrong. Surely your mum gets the casting on the original spelling.

DH's dad does that now I think about it. He spells DH's shortened name correctly and DH spells it uneequely

I have a complete blank on a friend’s wife’s name - whether it’s Vicki or Vicky. (I seem to have absorbed that it’s not Vikki.) I know that I struggle with it. So I look it up, even if I’m 90% sure (and I’m still often wrong.)

I can’t get my head around the rudeness of knowing that it’s a name you’re not sure how to spell, and still not checking it before you write the card.

My FIL spells DD1's name a different way every single time. Her name is one with various spellings naturally but we made.itnclear which one we were going with and told him in a text. Impossibly wouldn't be so bothered if he stuck to one version even if it was wrong. He just picks whichever version he feels like on the day. Maybe he thinks using a variety of spellings means he will at least get it right sometimes?

Your DH needs to tell them!

Some of my Dad's family have been spelling my name wrong for over 30 years! My Mam's Welsh and apparently it's too hard to learn to spell Mam and I's names.

Think Eleri getting Elerie, Ellerie, Ellery etc.

I think it's quite common OP. I would only come down on it if I thought it was being done deliberately in a pass agg 'we disagree with your choice' way.

Actually I wonder if BIL is trying to be sophisticated or something? DS’s name is spelt the English way as we’re British and live in England, but he spells it the French way.

My Dad spells my name wrong.
He has a friend with the spelling he defaults to.
My Dad is a dick and I have pointed out he is spelling my name wrong several times now...

Maybe he thinks using a variety of spellings means he will at least get it right sometimes?

Knowing him, probably. I don't think he does it maliciously (although he can be very childish in a tantrum throwing way) and it has become a joke of which version he'll use next. I'm still glad I don't have to explain to DD1 why her grandad doesn't know how to spell her name.

My brother told me they were spelling my niece’s name with ‘ie’ on the end instead of just ‘i’ (think Katie, instead of Kati) which is actually how I’d have expected it to be spelled. He made such a point of stressing their chosen spelling and telling me it how unusual it was, that I had to remind myself which version they had gone for almost every time I wrote it down for the first five years of her life....

DD1 is 27. For 26 years ex MIL missed the I out of her name. 26 years worth of Christmas and birthday cards to Louse!
OP I feel your pain.

My DD has a name that can end in ee, ie or y and is quite popular. Well actually her real name is much longer, but this is what we called her from day 1 and she is now 20. Some relatives still use the wrong ending, I am not bothered as long as it is not our closest family.

My DH asks me how to spell his nieces name every time he writes it, that is very annoying but he doesn’t want to upset her as she is old enough to read her name and care.

I sometimes get it from when people shorten their name think victoria , vicky , vickky , vickie
My sil has name like that and she use to spell it one way then changed if as on anything formal has to obviously use full name so when shortening a name like victoria there are choices

YABU. My nan spells my name wrong (and with an 'ie' but she puts 'y') and has even on more than one occasion spelt her own daughters name wrong. It really doesn't matter, she struggles a bit with spelling, doesn't mean she doesn't love us.

DD’s nickname is half of her name but ends in an ‘i’ because that’s how it’s spelt already and we just lop off the end but others put an ‘e’ on the end. We’re not bothered though as it’s a more common spelling.

I know an Olly, an Oli and an Ollie, they probably get it a lot too.

It would annoy me if they used a different name though like Beatrice vs Beatrix. That’s not the same as Lindsay vs Lindsey.

Also to add to my post, DD may chose to spell her nick name any which way when she’s older if she is still using it.

Why on earth have you let this go on for five years?