AIBU in laws spell dd's name wrong - she's 5!!

[Sandiepatterson]

My daughter has a very traditional name that can be spelt two ways, let's say Beatrice and not Beatrix. We also shorten it, let's say Bebe and not BB. (Those are not her names)
AIBU to think that my husband's family should know the correct spelling by now? She is 5 now. AIBU to (gently) remind them of the correct spelling?
We have the usual round of Christmas cards and it gets me every time! Her birthday cards are wrong too....

My dh was writing Christmas cards earlier, he kept asking me how to spell the names of friends and family. ‘Is that Jerry or Gerry?’ It was rather irritating as I was writing my own cards.
Then an Irish name came up and we had to look on FB as to how to spell her name

I've said on here before, but DD will be 14 next year. She has a name you can spell ie or y at the end.
Her aunt- my sil- always without fail spells it entirely wrong, she even spells the first bit wrong too which baffles me.
It is all the more baffling when you hear dd is named after sils late mum...

I once sent my brother a christmas card in which I which not only did I spell one childs name wrong. I forgot the other nephews name altogether. But wrote his ex, ex, ex girlfriends sons name instead. But I did spell that one correctly. Now I just write and family.

My daughters name has gen at the end but some people spell it/pronounce it as gin Which is frustrating.

Yabu to be annoyed or offended about it. What actual impact does it have on her life other than none at all?
I have an unusual name and it’s often misspelled - I could not care less. I certainly don’t hold it against people. My daughter’s name is a tricky speller and close family sometimes get it wrong - again, couldn’t care less. Neither could she.

In itself, it’s not an indication of how warmly they regard you or your daughter, it’s an indication of having only so much capacity in their head for exacting details. The same goes for all of us. I’m pretty good with names and spellings...but dates not so much. I wonder what detail you drop the ball on OP...there’s bound to be something.

My grandad spelled my name wrong for my entire life. Every card, every gift, every text, anything where my name was written down was spelled wrong. It annoyed my mum a lot but I was never that bothered. It was a simple mistake, he'd put 2 n's instead of one. He died last year and honestly I'd do anything to get another Christmas card this year with my name spelled wrong.

As long as it's not malicious and they don't have form for it, then it's not a big deal and probably wont bother your DD in the slightest.

My name gets spelled wrong all the time by family members, I don't really care.

I can understand that it's annoying but do they know several others with different variants? I have 5 family members, friends and kids' friends called Abigail. Some use Abby and others Abbie. I can never remember who uses which spelling.

My name is like Paulina but half of my family have always called me Pauline. Often called Paula by others.

It has never bothered me. I answer to most names beginning with P!

My mother and mother in law have always spelled our sons name incorrectly. He’s 26 now. It made us roll our eyes back in the day, but in the scheme of things, it’s not a big deal.

My daughter is Freya. She received a Christmas card from my husband’s family addressed to Fryer, which made me chuckle.

@BreakfastOfWaffles

I can understand that it's annoying but do they know several others with different variants? I have 5 family members, friends and kids' friends called Abigail. Some use Abby and others Abbie. I can never remember who uses which spelling.

I’m like this with Isabelle / Isobel / Isabel / Issy etc! Which child uses which spelling? Every Xmas I overthink it and then write ‘John, Mary & Family’ in the card!

I have a name that can be spelt two ways (1 is generally for the male version and 1 for the female). I've long ago given up noticing or correcting what way it's spelt by anyone. I know it's spelt both ways on cards ife gotten for birthday or Christmas etc but the intention behind those wishes us the same regardless of how they spelt my name.

Unless there is a backstory of other issues I'd get over it.

@JustLikeStitch

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter. It’s not disrespectful, it’s not malice, it’s not them trying to get on your nerves. As long as they are calling her by the correct name, the spelling really doesn’t matter.

My dad used to call my niece the wrong name (granted they lived the other side of the globe so he didn’t actually see her very often). Her name was a slightly different version of fairly common Scottish name (just two letters transposed). It was a bit of a family joke.

We even put the ‘wrong’ name in his obituary as it didn’t seem right to use the correct name (they ‘got’ it and were happy with that).

I'm a teacher. It's quite an effort to get hundreds of kids' names right, remember who likes to have their name shortenerld and who doesn't, remember which Isobel spells her name which way etc.

Admittedly I'm a linguist and find spelling pretty easy, but I wouldn't have thought it was that hard to get the names of a few close relatives right. Maybe make a little list one year from the Christmas cards you get from them, and use it when you need to write their names in a card next time.

You'd think they could get Freya right, it's a very common name now and no variant spellings! Chuckled at "Fryer" though
I know so many nieces and friends' children called Isabelle-variants that I have to carefully check Isabelle/Isabella/Isobel/Isabel/Issy/Izzy etc.

My dad can never remember how to spell DP’s name. Despite having a son with exactly the same name that he does spells correctly.

My grandparents on my dad’s side never once spelt my name right and it’s only four letters and a very usual name with a very usual spelling. It’s never once annoyed me. It was just one of their oddities and something I miss now they are gone.

My dad gets my birthday wrong, I’m only his firstborn but you know

My DD’s name is fairly common but sounds similar to an even more common name I don’t like. Rather than use the wrong one people seem to write a mishmash of the two and hope for the best 🤣

I’m generally good at spelling but I have a weird blindness about the a and e in Michael/Michaela. I want to spell it ea every time and have to check

@Maireas I know a Fraya, speaking of variant spellings

Really? I suppose, giving current trends, there could also be Freyah and Freyiiah. Also Freyyah. Come to think of it......

For years nobody seemed to be able to spell my name right, so I only ever use a diminutive of it now. It's really hard to mis-spell that!

My aunt always spells my name wrong. I’m nearly 50!

Yanbu. My name has a ph in the middle, fil always spells it with an f (even worse is that his name is the male equivalent of mine!) & my brother misses the h out!