To be upset they’ve cancelled Christmas together?

[Buntingandbuttons]

We had arranged to bubble with BIL’s household for Christmas. (2 households in total.)

We’ve now all been put in tier 3 and they messaged me to cancel. Their reasons were that we all have school age DC at different schools which is a risk.

AIBU to be upset by this? Dc are devastated, dd cried so much when we told her last night.

If they were shielding, I’d feel less upset but they go to the gym, the shops etc all the time, their DC have been going to their usual dance club etc. I did point this out that their dc mix with others at clubs but apparently that’s different as they take their temperature and the dance place has a covid safe certificate

We had planned lots of ways to make it as Covid safe as possible too including wrapping up warm and sitting outside with a heater to open gifts, letting the dc play in the garden, keeping windows open all the time, sitting 2m apart.

I probably am BU but we’ve bought all the food too!

I’ve said that we’ll plan lots of special things to do at home for our family instead, have a bake off day with the dc one day, crafting etc

AIBU to be upset about their reasons for cancelling?

@Alpal1

I blame the government. They raised our expectations and have spent the last week scaring us into cancelling our plans.

It shouldn't take "the government" for people to figure out that with cases on the rise after nearly a fucking year, health providers overwhelmed and winter closing in fast, that the lmingling by anyone for any reason is just prolonging the agony and endangering more people. FFS.

I have fifteen, FIFTEEN, dead friends and relatives now. And it's getting worse. I have another 2 dozen sick. Be grateful that you have your family intact, and even more grateful that your BIL would like to see everyone together next Christmas.

"Only" one day out of the five? All it takes is one hour out of the five to leave DD motherless or fatherless or both. And the fact that the BIL's family do those things is even more reason to NOT GO!

Next Christmas, God willing, will seem even better because of this one.

@Mamanyt

I have fifteen, FIFTEEN, dead friends and relatives now. And it's getting worse. I have another 2 dozen sick. Be grateful that you have your family intact, and even more grateful that your BIL would like to see everyone together next Christmas.

"Only" one day out of the five? All it takes is one hour out of the five to leave DD motherless or fatherless or both. And the fact that the BIL's family do those things is even more reason to NOT GO!

Next Christmas, God willing, will seem even better because of this one.

Whereabouts are you? So sorry to read this

they go to the gym, the shops etc all the time
Briefly going to a shop where both customers and staff wear masks and stay 2m apart, there’s a plastic screen, you grab a few items then leave. Not the same as socialising with someone for 5hrs, using their toilet, using their cups and eating food they’ve touched, your children touching each other, etc.

@Mamanyt

I have fifteen, FIFTEEN, dead friends and relatives now. And it's getting worse. I have another 2 dozen sick. Be grateful that you have your family intact, and even more grateful that your BIL would like to see everyone together next Christmas.

"Only" one day out of the five? All it takes is one hour out of the five to leave DD motherless or fatherless or both. And the fact that the BIL's family do those things is even more reason to NOT GO!

Next Christmas, God willing, will seem even better because of this one.

So sorry for your loss, that's awful.

We had two in my family and my friend lost her DF. Most of my immediate family are in high risk groups and we understand the fear.

I lost a friend. 43, healthy, had two kids. Started with a tickly cough and joked about having Covid. Dead four weeks later. Looking at his family I can’t understand why anyone is whinging about not being able to see their family for a while.

@DonkeyMcFluff it’s shocking and awful

But does it give you the right to admonish and preach?

I knew a 45 yr old mum, going through separation, who killed her self as she literally could take no more (having to live in lockdown limbo)

People die every day. Covid isn’t a worse reason than any other

@Mamanyt

I have fifteen, FIFTEEN, dead friends and relatives now. And it's getting worse. I have another 2 dozen sick. Be grateful that you have your family intact, and even more grateful that your BIL would like to see everyone together next Christmas.

"Only" one day out of the five? All it takes is one hour out of the five to leave DD motherless or fatherless or both. And the fact that the BIL's family do those things is even more reason to NOT GO!

Next Christmas, God willing, will seem even better because of this one.

That is very said, and I’m sorry

But you must have had a lot of friends and family with serious pre existing conditions

And I missed you have 24 currently suffering with covid?

You must be in a perpetual state of isolation

I don’t think YABU for being upset that your Xmas is ruined. So many people now in the same boat and it’s disappointing to say the least but at least you have your Xmas food in and you can use a Turkey for several meals following Xmas. My DM had planned to stay with DB but now can’t as he’s in a tier 4 area so she’s on her own and going to have to see if she can cobble together some form of Xmas dinner. There is a mad scrabble at the supermarkets now for any remaining Xmas food as loads of people will be cooking in their own homes rather than going to family members or restaurants. The shelves of many London supermarkets are empty! This Xmas we just have to be grateful for what we have (mostly that we’re still alive).

@Hellotheresweet oh yes so their lives don’t matter and it’s wont happen to anyone who doesn’t have a pre existing condition (which btw many people don’t even know they have a pre existing condition yet)

[quote Lifeispassingby]@Hellotheresweet oh yes so their lives don’t matter and it’s wont happen to anyone who doesn’t have a pre existing condition (which btw many people don’t even know they have a pre existing condition yet)[/quote]
It was a genuine question.

Not loaded at all.

However you have searched for shadows and found them.
Mother idea that you have 15 family and friends that have died and another 24 that are suffering from covid is.... unusual and surely not wrong for a poster to enquire about pre existing conditions?

@Hellotheresweet it wasn’t a question it was a statement in the way it was worded and the lack of punctuation. This virus is spreading rapidly in some areas- I know one workplace where all 10 employees currently have it amongst other people so it is entirely possible to know many people affected by it. I’m too exhausted by it all to argue any more, in the midst of supporting my grieving DH and preparing for FIL funeral which we may not even be able to go to. Everyone just needs to be more sympathetic and kind to each right now that’s all

Agreed, my apologies.

I tagged you in, the intention being as a question.

Might not be here next Christmas

Tbh it's probably for the best. The transmission rates for this new Covid strain are scarily high - they're doubling every 7 days. Yes it's sad seeing your children disappointed and upset but you could try explaining that doctors, nurses , healthcare workers are struggling to cope with lots of very sick people. Cancelling Christmas this year means you're helping those people and helping to prevent further infections.

Everyone has to assess their own risk. Its one day. There will be other Christmases.

My younger kids were upset about some cancelled things but seemed a bit less crushed when I wheeled out the sort of 'doing our bit' line. It doesn't come easy to me but I said we were going to be able to be proud we played our part and did the right thing etc.