Found secret messages on DH phone

[Connie667]

My DH has been acting odd for a while. Distant and always on his phone.

I've never done this before but when he left his phone on the side earlier (which he never does) I looked at it.

There was a messaging app which I've never seen before and I found messages between him and someone saved as "DB" without a profile picture.

The messages date back months. They've sent pictures to each other and he's been asking to meet up with her.

From what I can gather from the pictures she's sent him, she's at least 10 years younger than me (and him!) and also half my size. She's stunning, I can't deny that and he has told her so multiple times.

I haven't said anything to him yet. I have no idea what to do. It's obvious that he's checked out of our marriage and seems to be completely obsessed with this woman.

I think I'm in denial at the moment. Or shock. What am I meant to do now? We have a 1 year old son too.

What's so special about her is that she's a figment of his imagination, and thereby he imagines she will meet all of his needs.

If he thinks that's love, he's just a boy.

@Connie667

I don't know how he can love someone he's never met. Apparently he does though.

I'm beyond angry.

Our whole relationship feels like a joke. How can one woman completely change everything. A woman that he's never met! What's so special about her?

Probably more infatuated than love but it’s his mistake to make. Have you got friends family supporting you? I’m so sorry for you but if he’s throwing you and his child away he’s an awful man

You're right, you cannot possibly love someone never met. Fucking bastard! I hope it's a scam too. I feel for you so much. ❤️

What @Eckhart said. I’m so sorry for you, but to me this says throw him out and no mercy. He has a one year old and is prepared to throw his family life away on someone he’s never even met?? Pathetic excuse for a man, you can do so much better. Stay strong (and angry). I can almost guarantee he’ll be creeping back before you know it but I can’t imagine anyone wanting to raise kids with such a loser

And YY to PP, WeChat is very much a Chinese platform, very strange. I really hope it’s a scam too, stupid moron

I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

@spongedog

If it is a scam then you need to make sure that your share of assets are protected. So copies of financial documents showing balances now are a good idea for many reasons. Can you put a stay on the house/liquid cash assets etc so that he cannot transfer large sums of money without your knowledge? I would also perhaps suggest a meeting with a solicitor to "record" your date of separation - you dont have to move out but it might support later court decisions if you can show he made significant financial changes after that date.

Yes definitely, I was going to say this. You don't want to be coping with a relationship breakdown along with losing all your money, because he's stupid enough to get rinsed by a scammer.

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

@hansgrueber

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

Rediculous

@hansgrueber

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

You were obviously brought up by someone really fucking thick, then.

He has lost his mind. What on earth will his family, friends and colleagues think?? I don't mean that is as important as your feelings but he is living in cloud cuckoo land and stands not just to lose you and the baby but the care and support of a lot of other people in his life.

Bit unnecessary @GCAcademic

What was unnecessary was telling the OP she deserved to find what she did @Wheresmykimchi

Ha wow he's a gullible fool and a loser.

@GCAcademic

What was unnecessary was telling the OP she deserved to find what she did *@Wheresmykimchi*

Don't agree with that either , fwiw

@hansgrueber

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

And you believed them?! Gullible

Oh for pity's sake, who in their right mind wouldn't snoop if they seriously suspected their partner was cheating?

Also:

What's so special about her is that she's a figment of his imagination, and thereby he imagines she will meet all of his needs.

^ exactly this. Get rid of this man-child, OP - what an imbecile he sounds. You deserve a million times better. Another one here hoping it's a scam and the idiot gets fleeced!

This is on Reddit as a story

@hansgrueber

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

Have you not read the thread or do you enjoy being unkind?

@hansgrueber not really. You need to be prepared to find something you don't like, but if you are looking, well..

He is a silly man baby. Let him fuck off with this woman, it won't last. Have you taken photos of the financials?

@Handsoffstrikesagain I think the poster has sought advice there too. I don't think it is a fake post.

@hansgrueber

I was always brought up to believe that if you snoop then you're likely to find something you don't like and you deserve to for snooping!

No one deserves to be treated how this lady has been she’s on here for help and advice not stupid comments like that!

Connie, I know you are gutted. This man clearly has no integrity. He has decimated his marriage and family for a pathetic fantasy, and it sounds like he feels zero remorse. Show him the door asap. You and your little son deserve much better than this loser.