These threads are always so bizzare to me! I was a SAHM for over 6 years and I am also the main cook even now that I work full time. I like cooking and I love making our home welcoming to family and friends and dh pulls his weight in other ways - for instance he would go to the market / supermarket for all the food, tidy up, hoover, clean the bathroom, dust and mop floors while I cooked so I certainly never felt / feel like a skivvy.
Why can't you have a conversation with your husband as imo this is your main issue really and spell it out how you don't appreciate the expectation that all hosting duties are yours alone.
As for the inlaws - they are your husbands parents and your children's grandparents and I don't think it's unreasonable that they would come to visit over the holidays. I think it is unbelievably inhospitable not to offer lunch if that is when they're coming.
If I were you I would suck it up, thankful that they are not coming for Christmas Day (though it seems you have reserved that day for your own parents!) and buy in food if needs be.
Ask your dh to go to M&S and get a prepared ham that you just stick in the oven and shove in some baked potatoes and an M&S cauliflower cheese. Mince pies, cream, tea & coffee after - job done with NO fuss.
You just come across like you absolutely hate them and I wonder how you might feel if your dh acted like this about your parents visits?
We are not all born into ideal families but we cannot control that and barring abuse we just have to learn to get on with things. My parents are very testing in their own way and seem to want to suck up a lot of my / our energy and my dh has always welcomed them (more than me at times!) and he does it because he loves me and for that I am always grateful.