Is it reasonable to expect a Christmas dinner?

[BuckleBuckaroo]

Is it reasonable to invite yourself over for christmas, not telling the person what day you intend to visit until a week before the day (will be the 23rd) and then expect more than a cup of tea, mincepies, biscuits, crisps and dip - basically expecting a christmas roast dinner (most likely 3 course). And feel put out and say you are been made to feel unwelcome if you dont get it?

Going against the grain here, but I think if you are a SAHM and it’s your MIL and FIL why wouldn’t you oblige ? Why are you being so difficult? I’d bend over backwards for mine, so unless there is more to the story I think YABU.

I mean, if you know they are coming for
Lunch you can at least make some
Sandwiches? It's a bit rubbish to just give them a biscuit and a mince pie.
Absolutely can bugger off about the roast though.

I’m with Baycob. Why would you not give your in-laws a nice meal? Why would you not want to please your guests?

A roast meal is hardly difficult. A chicken, potatoes and cauliflower cheese in the oven, a few sprouts and chestnut sautéed in bacon fat. Then a mince pie. Why would you be deliberately obtuse?

@CherryPavlova

I’m with Baycob. Why would you not give your in-laws a nice meal? Why would you not want to please your guests? A roast meal is hardly difficult. A chicken, potatoes and cauliflower cheese in the oven, a few sprouts and chestnut sautéed in bacon fat. Then a mince pie. Why would you be deliberately obtuse?

I think some people spend their lives in a state of indignant outrage so they don't have time to do something simple like cooking a chicken

If they are giving you the silent treatment they have solved this for you. Don't reward such childish behaviour by responding at all.

I think they are being crazy to expect a full Christmas dinner at such short notice and a couple of days before you'll be cooking another full Christmas Dinner.
If you really like them I think maybe I'd cook a lasagne or whatever I had ingredients for. But tbh I wouldn't even cook my own parents a full Christmas dinner on the 23rd if they just sprung it on me under a week before they were coming.
You'd be well within your rights to just tell these inlaws you are busy.. they sound very selfish... who demands a Christmas finner not on Christmas off of someone who didn't even actually invite them?!

@Baycob

Going against the grain here, but I think if you are a SAHM and it’s your MIL and FIL why wouldn’t you oblige ? Why are you being so difficult? I’d bend over backwards for mine, so unless there is more to the story I think YABU.

Because being a SAHM doesn’t equal being a short order cook?

Because being a SAHM doesn’t equal being a short order cook?

Nor does it mean you have to be inhospitable.

And for all these people saying 'just roast a chicken dont be obtuse' what are you made of money, time and chickens? Because no way would I be able to just conjure up a chicken on short notice... I budget for my food and that doesnt include random full Christmas dinners for people who demand them not on Christmas.... if people turn up short notice at a meal time of course ill try and feed them but it will be with whatever I have in the house to do so.

@Unicant

I think they are being crazy to expect a full Christmas dinner at such short notice and a couple of days before you'll be cooking another full Christmas Dinner. If you really like them I think maybe I'd cook a lasagne or whatever I had ingredients for. But tbh I wouldn't even cook my own parents a full Christmas dinner on the 23rd if they just sprung it on me under a week before they were coming. You'd be well within your rights to just tell these inlaws you are busy.. they sound very selfish... who demands a Christmas finner not on Christmas off of someone who didn't even actually invite them?!

Apparently a lot of people on this thread...in 24-30 years time

@Ginfordinner

Because being a SAHM doesn’t equal being a short order cook?

Nor does it mean you have to be inhospitable.

You know that men can do shit too, right?

Are people actually guests when they’re not invited?

@LovePoppy its crazy. I wouldn't dare personally. Cannot imagine ringing someone and telling them I was coming round on a certain date a week away and I wanted a full Christmas dinner. Especially knowing its a few days from Christmas and that person will have to do all that again. How rude.

Because being a SAHM doesn’t equal being a short order cook?

Being a SAHM means you have time to make cooked lunches for friends.

Yes men can. If he isn't working then he can "do shit" for lunch. We don't know how the intention to visit was worded. If it was "we have some Christmas presents we would like to drop round, is it OK if we come over on the 23rd?" that is perfectly fine. If it was we want to come over for a Christmas dinner on the 23rd it isn't.

Either way offering mince pies and biscuits for lunch isn't on. I would be happy to rustle up a few sandwiches or provide a quiche or similar.

@Baycob and @CherryPavlova, because she's an adult who is entitled to not be ordered around in her own home.

Sorry if this has been raised in the messages above but what Tier are you in, I assume that having them over will mean that you won't be seeing more than one other household for the period up to 28th...

Err, no that's not reasonable in the slightest. They're lucky to get any invitation for anything at all, they sound awful.

Because she doesn’t want to make a meal she was voluntold to make? No because her ils are coming round for a Christmas visit and she's she let them know that she's serving mince pies for lunch. That is a deliberate fuck you message isn't it, I mean if she thought that was normal she wouldn't have mentioned it.

It's not Christmas so no

I'm honestly open mouthed at this thread. I can't believe that so many people think it's unreasonable to make some lunch for in laws at Xmas.

@PimlicoJo

I'm honestly open mouthed at this thread. I can't believe that so many people think it's unreasonable to make some lunch for in laws at Xmas.

Exactly. It's no wonder there is so much hostility between DILs and their in laws on mumsnet.

@Unicant

And for all these people saying 'just roast a chicken dont be obtuse' what are you made of money, time and chickens? Because no way would I be able to just conjure up a chicken on short notice... I budget for my food and that doesnt include random full Christmas dinners for people who demand them not on Christmas.... if people turn up short notice at a meal time of course ill try and feed them but it will be with whatever I have in the house to do so.

Presumably if op was skint and couldn't afford to feed them she'd have mentioned it on her rant

@Ginfordinner

Because being a SAHM doesn’t equal being a short order cook?

Nor does it mean you have to be inhospitable.

This ^. It sounds like they don’t like you much and you may be pissed. But it also sounds like they may have a reason.

@Unicant

And for all these people saying 'just roast a chicken dont be obtuse' what are you made of money, time and chickens? Because no way would I be able to just conjure up a chicken on short notice... I budget for my food and that doesnt include random full Christmas dinners for people who demand them not on Christmas.... if people turn up short notice at a meal time of course ill try and feed them but it will be with whatever I have in the house to do so.

The 23rd is hardly short notice to put a lunch together though, is it? There was no mention of abject poverty. It’s feeding family one lunch near Christmas. Nobody is suggesting making pate and your own chestnut stuffing. Saying family can have a mince pie when they visit at Christmas is a bit of a metaphorical finger.

Surely it depends on whether your husband feels like cooking?