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Would this bother you - teacher gift?
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GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/12/2020 20:12

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this Grin and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now Grin

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LoveMyKidsAndCats · 16/12/2020 20:15

That's do cheeky! It just feels wrong being done by her mate.

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SionnachRua · 16/12/2020 20:15

Oof I was the teacher I wouldn't have answered that question. Stock response is "nothing is necessary" and then you can pretend to be surprised when a voucher appears - I say this as the standard at my school is a voucher for €€€. It's genuinely unnecessary to give something like that though.

I think the idea of a class voucher is better than 30 Best Teacher trinkets tbh but this was poorly handled.

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tiredybear · 16/12/2020 20:16

I dunno, I'm a teacher too but designer shoes seems a bit of a strange gift really...it's supposed to be from the kids to the teacher. It seems a bit off to me too, but when i dig down I can't really say why.
I suppose it seems like a friend just trying to get her friend a gift, at others' expense, rather than it being about the kids/parents thanking the teacher....

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LoveMyKidsAndCats · 16/12/2020 20:16

So*

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Thatwentbadly · 16/12/2020 20:18

I think the asking for a tenner of each parent is the problem. Normally in your class collection there is a suggestion of up to £5. Lots of people are struggling this year.

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year5teacher · 16/12/2020 20:18

God I would hate to receive something like that. I am paid for my job and I don’t expect anything extra. Obviously it’s always lovely and I do know I have a voucher coming tomorrow (always makes me feel a little awkward), but I hate the idea that parents feel they have to pay... a box of chocolates is more appropriate my opinion.

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Thatwentbadly · 16/12/2020 20:18

*our

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TheGonnagle · 16/12/2020 20:19

It would have been more tactful to do a voucher at selfridges to buy them I think.

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pickingdaisies · 16/12/2020 20:20

Is this real? Well having just watched on the news, that UNICEF is delivering emergency parcels to UK families for the first time ever, I'd say it was, at best, insensitive to demand £10 from each family for designer shoes!

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Tumblebugsjump · 16/12/2020 20:20

£10 per child is way OTT and just not affordable for lots of people, no way I would be comfortable accepting such an expensive gift. When did this get so out of hand?

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Strangedayindeed · 16/12/2020 20:20

Agreed, Selfridges vouchers would have been more tasteful.

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SnackSizeRaisin · 16/12/2020 20:21

Weird. A voucher would be better, her friend could have asked her what shop she would prefer. Also I don't agree with prescribed amounts. It should be an anonymous donation of as much or little as you want. With the option to not contribute but still send a nice message. Being grateful to a good teacher should not be about money but about the feeling behind it.

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ODFOx · 16/12/2020 20:21

I think it's fair enough to ask someone what they would like for a present after the collection has been made: it's the timing ( and hence the minimum payment as such) that is the issue.

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wherethewildthingis · 16/12/2020 20:23

Very strange to me. The custom of giving gifts to teachers from kids is quite a cute tradition. Public sector workers receiving, even asking for, expensive items and vouchers from service users? Seems really off to me and would be hugely frowned on if the area that I work in. Do these gifts have to be declared? We have to declare and register any gift no matter the value.

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WhereverIGoddamnLike · 16/12/2020 20:24

We did this with a teacher in my oldest son's class. She asked for the money to be spent on things she needs in the class and usually buys herself. Parents were happy enough to give £5 or £10 but a lot of parents are really struggling this year (I'm including myself in that list) so if she had wanted something super fancy I'm guessing people wouldn't have been quite as happy and would see it as grabby.

I'm actually not sure on this one. It seems almost martyr like to say "oh, classroom supplies would be great" but on the other hand it seems out of touch with the reality of financial situations for parents to ask for designer shoes.
What if not all the parents could afford to give £10? Who would pay the extra needed for the shoes? It should be a gift which can just be bought with whatever money is collected and not a set amount which you need to force out of parents.

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GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/12/2020 20:24

@year5teacher

God I would hate to receive something like that. I am paid for my job and I don’t expect anything extra. Obviously it’s always lovely and I do know I have a voucher coming tomorrow (always makes me feel a little awkward), but I hate the idea that parents feel they have to pay... a box of chocolates is more appropriate my opinion.

Yes I think I'd feel awkward getting so much. I do get my lovely pupils bringing revolting chocolates from the corner shop on the last day and it means so much to me I have to do the whole "ooh with all this chocolate I won't fit through the door next term" unfunny joke to stop me . Even if they do pick the chocolates by the till like dairy milk with Turkish delight Confused
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GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/12/2020 20:26

@wherethewildthingis

Very strange to me. The custom of giving gifts to teachers from kids is quite a cute tradition. Public sector workers receiving, even asking for, expensive items and vouchers from service users? Seems really off to me and would be hugely frowned on if the area that I work in. Do these gifts have to be declared? We have to declare and register any gift no matter the value.

May or may not be relevant but it's an independent school and £10 per parent is a standard.
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MrsChristmasHamlet · 16/12/2020 20:26

My form once bought me a pair of very lovely shoes. And then the form after did the same.
I didn't ask for them but my shoe habit is well known. I was very touched. And they were 18.

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GlummyMcGlummerson · 16/12/2020 20:26

And yea @wherethewildthingis we also have to register gifts over a certain amount too

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gospelsinger · 16/12/2020 20:26

DD is currently wrapping presents for the 4 adults who work in her classroom. I definitely haven't spent £10 on each.

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Jeschara · 16/12/2020 20:28

I think this is awful, what about a parent that has 3 children all in different classes.
I am glad those parents complained. I find it very distasteful that the teacher asked for designer shoes.

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GintyMcGinty · 16/12/2020 20:29

It's totally cheeky and I'm not surprised that it's pushed parents off.

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Throwntothewolves · 16/12/2020 20:30

I don't like it because it seems like the sentiment behind the contributions has been lost or ignored. It's also a bit grabby and vulgar to expect the contributions (the teacher's friend) and such a gift (the teacher), particularly this year when so many are suffering financially. If the kids want to give a 'best teacher' mug or equivalent then let them

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SallyCinnamonYoureMyWorld · 16/12/2020 20:31

We give about this amount to our teachers. We give them vouchers and champagne from the whole class. People give as much as they like, along the lines of £5-£10 and they always end up with a good amount.

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SnailortheWhale · 16/12/2020 20:32

If it’s an independent school then I doubt it’s the amount that’s annoyed people as presumably these parents won’t have major money troubles. Maybe it’s the feeling of a present being ‘ordered’ that some have objected to.

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