Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

This doesn't sit right with me at all.

It's becoming more the norm these days for parents to contribute to collective vouchers rather than individual gifts of chocolates/soaps, which is lovely, but IT IS NOT EXPECTED; just a lovely bonus.

I'm sure some teachers can be bribed like anyone else This never happened in my 70s schooldays except for a book token for a popular leaving English teacher, a camera for a retiring History teacher, and a wedding present when my form mistress got married - that wasn't more than 50p each!

No that’s wrong parents shouldn’t feel obliged to contribute. Most children prefer to take in an individual present from just themselves. I can understand teachers get fed up with lots of boxes of chocolates etc but surely they could donate to a food bank instead of eating all!

awful and totally out of order. I'd say it's almost rude. I am not a teacher but a few of my friends are and they never ask for anything specific.

@pickingdaisies

Is this real? Well having just watched on the news, that UNICEF is delivering emergency parcels to UK families for the first time ever, I'd say it was, at best, insensitive to demand £10 from each family for designer shoes!

I couldn't agree more. If people want to give a gift, perhaps something nice to donate to the foodbank.

Most posters have missed the OP's follow up that this is an independent school. On that basis, £10 doesn't seem unreasonable. There may he exceptions, but most parents who can afford £12k or more per year of school fees would be fine with £10. I'd like to think that teachers at independent schools aren't buying their own supplies for work either, so options to pay for classroom supplies aren't of use either.

In my DC’s school, we have a kitty collected at the beginning of the school year which is then spent on all bdays, Christmas, Easter and end of year presents for teacher, TA etc. It isn’t much 20 or 30 pounds per year per child. We generally get what the teacher asks (gift cards for her choice of shops) or meal out or something similar if she isn’t very specific. I think yours wasn’t handled properly, a voucher for that designer would have been more palatable.

A voucher to the value of £150 is perfectly acceptable. The teacher can then buy the shoes. £5 is perfectly acceptable, though. Teacher probably won't want teacher mugs. A voucher and flowers is quite nice.

I never give to class collections. Teachers’ presents are on the same level as party bags - a completely unnecessary and meaningless indulgence. Why should I pay for teachers to furnish their homes from John Lewis? I don’t get a bonus for doing my job so why should they?

Kids also at a private primary- £10 per teacher is quite a lot - we give £10 to be split between teacher and the Teaching assistant. They get John Lewis vouchers. If they put it towards some designer shoes then that’s fine with me. I’d probably spend more on individual gifts so I love the combined money for a voucher

I wouldn't mind the idea of a collection so that one bigger gift can be purchased. Saves me a job, and the teacher gets something more worthwhile than lots of chocolates or trinkets. But being told how much I had to contribute would make me cross. Lots of people can't afford £10!

Only 15 children in a class??!!
£10 each raising £150
Not your average state school.

I think asking for a gift is grabby. Would have been better to have a collection and give a voucher. At that stage, ok to ask what shop would suit. And if it's enough to buy fancy shoes, that's a bonus

I don't understand why it matters what she wants, if everyone had already agreed to the £10. They were free to say no and to do their own thing.

I would like to see an end to the teacher buying tradition. I appreciate that a row of Best Teacher mugs etc. must be disappointing and even the January donations to the charity shops may not sell very well. A teacher friend of some years ago told me that one Christmas she received 11 mugs, 6 boxes of After Eights, several mini cactus plants in festive pots, numerous scarves and pairs of gloves, then there was the partridge in the pear - - - - ahem!

She told me she would rather they had saved their money but the pleasure is in the giving is it not? One teacher in my area is known for buying all her class pupils a gift! Quite a turn around and I doubt many teachers do that!

As to the OP question, the teacher requesting a pair of expensive shoes? Cheeky bitch.

I would much rather all of us put a tenner in and got her what she wanted rather than the load of tat she probably received

My daughter is at an independent and it was £20 per family - this was for three teachers.

I am so tired of hearing about "poor" teachers Theyre always bumping their gums about how hard done to they are. I can think of at least 20 professions that work harder and deserve a tenner more. Save your money - they deserve nowt!

It's strange because if she had been given a 150 gift voucher and bought shoes everyone would be fine, yet giving the actual shoes is bad. It's weird.

Sounds like you are all reeeeeeally overcomplicating it. At our school everyone who wants to chips in a tenner (usually 25 do and 5 don’t bother). The money buys shopping centre vouchers and a bunch of flowers. The teacher thus has about £245 to spend on food if needed or designer shoes if that’s her thing and noone ever knows what the tracher chose to buy.

I see it more as a tip.

@bigmumsymcgraw

I am so tired of hearing about "poor" teachers Theyre always bumping their gums about how hard done to they are. I can think of at least 20 professions that work harder and deserve a tenner more. Save your money - they deserve nowt!

Are you always so rude?

My children's teachers have been absolutely incredible this year. Uncomplaining, hard working, flexible under the most stressful and unpromising conditions. Please, give your tenners to whoever you want to, and don't be so rude about people who make a huge difference to our kids.

My DSs class all just put a fiver each into a collection and we got the teacher some vouchers as we thought it would be a more useful present to her than lots of smellies/chocolates. If her friend were one of us mums so could guide us to a perfect present , it wouldn't cross my mind to think teacher was cheeky.

My kids’ state primary only do collections at the end of the school year. My dc choose to give to favourite teachers/TAs and have given a bath bomb, mini alcohol, a Christmas candle or a tiny box of nice chocolates, only £1-2 each. It’s off them, not me.

I have 3dc and 10 nieces and nephews, parents and grandparents to buy for. I normally buy for others too but have stopped this year by mutual agreement. I know plenty of people who aren’t struggling to feed their kids but spend £10 on family gifts so I think it is a lot to ask/expect from every family for teaching staff.

I was an NHS nurse for many years and we weren’t allowed to accept gifts so if patients or relatives wanted to give something we suggested tea, coffee or squash as it was used and appreciated by all ward staff.

Maybe the collection could be sent to the poster whose school is always asking for money 🤔in the workplace these amounts would constitute as bribery and corruption.

Oh, for back to the days when a child made a beautiful card with best writing, a lovely thank you message, and the teacher was delighted!