Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

The problem is that by asking for a specific item they've set an expectation that every family must give £10, otherwise they will not have enough. A lot of people might struggle to give £10, but feel that they have to or they will spoil the plan for everyone.

That is why vouchers are the norm, they can be for any amount so everyone is free to give whatever they can afford. There's a good chance they would get close to the amount anyway, and the teacher could spend it on the shoes without anyone been put in a dificult situation.

Report to Headteacher, there's something very wrong here.

I've just organised a class voucher, partly because of covid so one voucher better than lots of gifts but the amount was entirely optional!

Grabby of the teacher to say she wants a particular pair of shoes!

Our school isn’t allowing gifts or cards this year due to covid. Takes the pressure off those who can’t afford it too. Last time we did a collection for a teacher it was £5 each and I’m sure it was for a voucher. Weird to ask the teacher what she wants and even weirder that she requested a pair of shoes. Most teachers wouldn’t answer that question.

This makes my bag of skittles look a bit shit 😂

My MIL teaches at a private school and she has had gifts such as Gucci handbags over the years... and that’s per individual family, not per class.
However she would never have dreamt of requesting a particular item, and I think that is the issue here.
Vouchers would have been a far better idea.
FWIW we’re state school and spend about £10 per teacher but that’s our choice. I’d be a bit put out to have a particular amount requested of me.

Weird to ask the teacher what she wants and even weirder that she requested a pair of shoes. Most teachers wouldn’t answer that question.
Is it so weird? Friend of teacher says to teacher "we've collected x amount. What would you like?"
Teacher says "shoes please".
It's definitely weird if the teacher approaches the parents or students demanding shoes, but if they're specifically asked what they'd like, then that's not odd at all.
The problems here come from the fact that the friend overstepped.

Where can you buy designer shoes for £150!!!! Bargain.

Voucher with whatever is collected is the answer, just ensure the voucher is for the place teacher can buy the gift she would like.

I'm inclined to agree @MrsChristmasHamlet

@Valenciaoranges I said that and it turns out they're not so much Gucci but that shop with the expensive and quirky shoes

Irregular choice

I bought both my children’s teacher a three pound miniature gin/Bailey gift set.

I would be mortified if a fellow parent asked me for £10. I couldn't afford that at all. I ve bought our teachers/support workers and helpers, small box of Lindt chocolates/Terry's chocolate oranges. However if they said," theres a collection feel free to contribute" then I would donate what I could afford.

At my DS school we have collected £240 from a class of 30 so most parents gave a tenner. However there was no pressure and the teacher certainly didn’t state what she wanted! The amount has been split between teacher, TA and two supply teachers who helped out this year (different amounts for each and they were given vouchers for things we knew they’d like/were interested in).

Gosh I just bought 5 boxes of sweets/chocolates. Im from the north east so maybe a region thing but we don't do class collection and the gifts are a token gesture.

Awful cringy idea- amounts almost to begging.

If the teacher had any sense they would say they wanted nothing but maybe buy her something for £5-£10 and give any excess to X charity.

The whole thing seems to have got out of control.

In my day teachers got a small box of chocs or handcream from a pupil if they were lucky.

Oh good God I've completely forgotten to get teacher and TA Christmas gifts!

Grabby and wrong. I say this as a teacher myself. We genuinely do not expect presents (most of us anyway!).

A tenner!!
There are 10 staff to buy for with ds, I'd be bankrupt!

Maybe it's different in an independent but I've worked in maintained schools and academy's and actually if a teacher receives a gift with a monetary value exceeding £20 it should be declared as it COULD be seen as a bribe for favouritism. This rarely happens but a gift of £150 would seriously raise eyebrows

I was a teacher for a long while and I would have been mortified if a parent had asked me that or asked other parents for £10. Honestly, a nice message in a card is more than enough, even better if the child has made the card. It’s so kind getting gifts but the best ones are where the child has thought about it and chosen it not the parents.

I'm kind of a practical person, so I'd be pleased the teacher was getting something she actually wanted. I can see that a voucher for the shop may have been a better idea.

Awful cringy idea- amounts almost to begging.
It wasn't the teacher who asked. It was a parent in the class.

So is there a list of acceptable gifts and unnacceptable gifts?

Would it matter if it was a £150 tree for example?

My DC's state year 6 teacher was given a £300 amazon voucher when they left last year. As long as it isn't compulsory, I would be grateful not to have to sort something out myself?