Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

I think it's fine to have a collection and give the teacher shoes but I think £10 is too much and the organiser shouldn't tell people how much to give. I always get a tub of quality street/roses to share between the teacher and 2 or 3 TA's.

Oh, and I’d be mighty embarrassed if the parents did this for me.

@gospelsinger

DD is currently wrapping presents for the 4 adults who work in her classroom. I definitely haven't spent £10 on each.

Aye, same here. Boxes of (not fancy) chocolates. 4 staff members to each child, it's all I can do this year.

Schools ought to be putting a stop to this. Our school has had poverty proofing so there are no teacher gifts, no sweets or gifts brought in for birthdays, no dress up days and no branded items in school. The school are great at providing fun activities without any of these things and it has taken any pressure off parents and children.

Would would you set a suggested donation level? This nonsense is why PTAs etc get such bad press! (As an ex pta chair!)
Just leave people alone! Nobody needs an amount suggesting to them. It's a mum-bot thing. Stop it!

My daughters school said no to teacher gifts this year due to having to isolate items etc but did suggest a donation to the local food bank so the tenner we usually spend got spent on some tins,Christmas snacks,fruit etc which I thinks a far better idea anyway least other people will benefit

THAT is a good idea, Disneymum.

A lot of schools have policy’s on gift giving, it doesn’t seem like a normal thing to do. The person would of been better to just collect donations of any amount and not ask for a specific amount which is cheeky.

Disneymum1993

That’s a perfect solution.

It really depends how it's done. If everyone gives what they can afford without pressure, they then add up the total and the teacher picks out something she'd like that's fine. If they pressure all parents to give a certain amount so they can buy a particular gift that's not on. I would have thought the teacher's friend can just choose a shop and get vouchers as a gift, that way there's no need to reach a certain target.

Bloody hell, I'm a teacher and I don't want any parents spending £10 on me, especially as I work in a deprived area. I hate the class gift idea, especially if parents feel pressured into it. I get my DC's children wine but I don't expect anything from my class, although some will buy chocolate/candles etc.

Oops,I get my DC's teachers wine. I don't go giving wine to any children 😁.

@lavenderlou 'I'm a teacher and I give my children wine....' That gave me a great image of yoou handing out glasses of wine to the kids in your class at Christmas!

@Saz12

rossclare, you’ve heard of food banks? You do know that some families actually have to use food banks? Heard all the FSM stuff in the media? Period poverty?

How could parents who need to use a food bank be able to give £10 to a teachers gift without noticing it????

Gosh, no i haven't!! Thanks for pointing it out!!

@DimidDavilby

I think the outcry is mostly misogyny tbh. If it was a male teacher and he asked for whisky or golfclubs he'd be fine.

Utter bollocks.

Again (similar thread few days ago) I don't think teachers should get Christmas presents - it's too much!! End of year is enough - most teachers will tell you, they get tat, chocolates and they regift half of the stuff anyway. Save your money.

That gave me a great image of yoou handing out glasses of wine to the kids in your class at Christmas!

Not a chance I would be sharing it 😁.

I don't buy teachers presents and I'd feel really awkward and uncomfortable if asked to chip in £10! That's so cheeky. I almost wouldn't feel like I could say no if everyone was doing it and I kind of agree with the person who complained and for it stopped.

I'm most shocked that a UK primary school can manage a class size of 15!

I don't think there is anything wrong with the teacher's friend organizing the gift per se, though it makes this sort of scenario more likely. I don't think there is anything particularly wrong with getting a teacher designer shoes as a present if you know she wants them.

What seems wrong to me is two fold:
a) Having a target that, if not reached, scuppers a plan the teacher is aware of.
b) Having a target that seems to be out of step with the parents involved.

It would have been better to have a whip round (with or without a reasonable suggested donation) and then either give a voucher or see what the teacher wanted within the budget that was achieved.

I'd be glad the teacher got something she actually wanted. Gift vouchers aren't exactly thoughtful, but are totally accepted.

The problem was identifying the value of the present before people had contributed. Very presumptuous indeed.

This ^

Also I think it’s about modelling good behaviour. What Disney suggested is perfect. I know teachers are only human and deserving of nice treats (especially after this year) but the act of giving the teacher a gift is in itself about showing gratitude, kindness, appreciation, thoughtfulness etc.

Parents giving a tenner to someone’s mate to arrange designer shoes just feels materialistic.

I really dislike the concept of gifts for teachers. Not because I begrudge them having nice things but because it is really from the parent and puts pressure on some, whilst allowing others to cause a scene like this. It should be strictly handmade stuff from kids / chocolates etc they can afford themselves if they feel the need.

What is this shit? What the hell happened to the concept of a child drawing and colouring a Christmas card or making small tree decoration for the teacher?

all this present buying is just parents showing off, its crass, let the kids show their thanks in a more thoughtful way.

My daughter's form teacher was leaving and asked for Ugg slippers - and she got them. She really went the extra mile, marvellous woman.

We have a mum who is friends with our teacher this year, all we asked was to find out the favourite tipple of the staff. We all put in up to £10 but that is split between the teacher and Ta's - this year its 6 people.

That's a present for the sake of it. I'd feel awful accepting money from all the parents. If they want to give a token of thanks, a box of chocs or whatever, that's sweet. £10 is too much and means nothing.