Would this bother you - teacher gift?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

At my DC's school I have a friend whose child is in year 1 (different classes to my kids). She's told me that there's been a bit of controversy and complaints because one parent is very good friends with the teacher and took the lead in organising a class teacher present. She asked the teacher what she wanted if she got a tenner off each parent (so £150). Teacher picked out a pair of designer shoes. And the friend asked all the parents for a tenner. A couple of parents have complained and the designer shoe plan had to be put to a stop.

I'm torn about how I feel about this. On the one hand I'd usually spend a tenner on my DC's teacher and I always welcome the opportunity for someone else to sort shit like this and why shouldn't the teacher get what she actually wants rather than 10 "best teacher mugs".

On the other hand I can see why it's kinda cheeky.

I teach secondary so rarely get presents from parents but I wouldn't mind a pair of designer shoes if this is the present standard now

However, why give a gift?

Don't know about other posters but a present is just one of a few ways of showing appreciation. I can afford to buy a nice voucher for the DCs' teachers so I do (alongside a handwritten card with messages from DH, DC and I). Why? Because it might be nice for the teacher to have a treat at Christmas. When I worked for a small company the boss gave us a nice card and voucher at Christmas and we loved it and felt appreciated. I also give my cleaner a similar gift because she's amazing and I want her to have a treat on me.

What I don't get is why you have such a bee in your bonnet about it? I don't think it should be compulsory and no one should feel pressure to do it but if they want to what harm could it possibly do?

@Babapudding

I did not say every teacher goes above and beyond.
You said you have never met one that goes above and beyond, and basing your opinion of teachers on this?
However, there are many that do. If my children were in a school where ALL teachers were not doing so, I would be motivated to change schools.

If she or anyone is a teacher at a state school you are not allowed to accept any present that has an intrinsic value, it’s in your public sector contract, and action can be taken against you not to mention if it has a value it qualifies as a taxable item and therefore is also tax evasion.

Yes I worked in public sector employee issues. You can accept items with no value eg a mug or a calendar or a diary but to the rule of thumb even a bottle of wine should be rejected

Those who have said they've put in a tenner towards gifts for the teacher plus the TAs: absolutely, that's worth it.

A tenner per child just for the teacher? no. And that's not to say I don't value them, but there's a lot of people involved in supporting your child throughout the day, especially in the age group we're talking about. Spread the appreciation around.

(Also, sure, get a voucher, but actually buying the teacher designer shoes just feels off to me)

Our school you did your own thing at Christmas- my child used to make fudge or homemade chutney. At the end of school year, when they would be leaving the teacher, there was a whip round, no amount mentioned though most gave £5 or £10, and a John Lewis voucher for main teacher and flowers or something for the TA.
In secondary they tend to have different teachers for most subjects so less common.
She should have just had a (voluntary) collection and got her a voucher - no need to ask what it's used for.

[quote Mustbemagic]@Babapudding

I did not say every teacher goes above and beyond.
You said you have never met one that goes above and beyond, and basing your opinion of teachers on this?
However, there are many that do. If my children were in a school where ALL teachers were not doing so, I would be motivated to change schools.[/quote]
How else would I base my opinion but for the teachers I have met previously? I can't base an opinion on teachers I've never met.
As you're not in school all day, every day watching and listening, you'll never know if ALL teachers are going above and beyond.
So as long as my children are taught what they are supposed to be taught at school, as per the curriculum, I'm happy.
If I feel they are lacking in any area i would teach them myself.

@InTheDrunkTank

However, why give a gift?

Don't know about other posters but a present is just one of a few ways of showing appreciation. I can afford to buy a nice voucher for the DCs' teachers so I do (alongside a handwritten card with messages from DH, DC and I). Why? Because it might be nice for the teacher to have a treat at Christmas. When I worked for a small company the boss gave us a nice card and voucher at Christmas and we loved it and felt appreciated. I also give my cleaner a similar gift because she's amazing and I want her to have a treat on me.

What I don't get is why you have such a bee in your bonnet about it? I don't think it should be compulsory and no one should feel pressure to do it but if they want to what harm could it possibly do?

No bee in my bonnet. I have said if people want to get teachers gifts that's great, good for them. It's their personal choice. It's the fact that you're made to feel that you have to buy a gift or contribute towards it. It should be enough to just say thank you 🙂

Not on.

You can buy a nice box of truffles for £3 from Marks. £10 is just too much. And x by all the kids in the class - could be £300?!?!

Ridiculous.

It should have been max £5 each, turned into a John Lewis voucher.

@Babapudding just from my own experience:
I paid for kids' lunches discreetly on occasion of it was a choice between that or them not eating.
I made my firm Christmas bags every year, with little gifts and homemade shortbread biscuits.
I paid for reward stickers, little medals and prizes for good work (just bits from Sainsbury's but adds up).
One year I only had one AS student and I bought him some of his face non alcoholic drink as a present for doing well.
I've bought resources out of my own money to enhance my lessons...too many to list.
I could probably state loads more examples, as could most teachers.
I'm a sahm now, partly because I want to devote all my time to my own kids and don't have the capacity to support other people's in any way at the moment.
Having said all this, I will reiterate: presents are in no way expected. Hundreds of pounds on presents is outrageous. A nice bottle of wine or some chocolates were always really appreciated, but never, ever expected.

Sorry for all the typos above! I hope my post makes sense...typing on my phone whilst breastfeeding my youngest!!!

What nonsense buying gifts. !! I retired from teaching about 10 years ago..no gifts for anyone..maybe the odd card...is this another imported new tradition ??

I’d have said that it wasn’t necessary. I’ve had some amazing and beautiful gifts given to me in the past - none worth £150 I’m sure! My daughter spent 99p on a present for her year 5 teacher and I know that the teacher will appreciate the thought that she put into it as it is very much her teacher! I’ve not bought more as I give a lot of my time to school which is much more valuable and very much valued!

@earsup

What nonsense buying gifts. !! I retired from teaching about 10 years ago..no gifts for anyone..maybe the odd card...is this another imported new tradition ??

Well I was at secondary in the late 90s and it wasn't standard but I remember our favourite form teacher having a desk full of gifts on our last day with her because we all loved her. It was a well off area and I don't think the gifts were hugely expensive (bottle of wine, chocolates etc).

[quote Liverbird77]@Babapudding just from my own experience:
I paid for kids' lunches discreetly on occasion of it was a choice between that or them not eating.
I made my firm Christmas bags every year, with little gifts and homemade shortbread biscuits.
I paid for reward stickers, little medals and prizes for good work (just bits from Sainsbury's but adds up).
One year I only had one AS student and I bought him some of his face non alcoholic drink as a present for doing well.
I've bought resources out of my own money to enhance my lessons...too many to list.
I could probably state loads more examples, as could most teachers.
I'm a sahm now, partly because I want to devote all my time to my own kids and don't have the capacity to support other people's in any way at the moment.
Having said all this, I will reiterate: presents are in no way expected. Hundreds of pounds on presents is outrageous. A nice bottle of wine or some chocolates were always really appreciated, but never, ever expected.[/quote]
See, unless teachers tell you what they do or show what they do as extra, as a parent you never know about this. So thank you for giving me an idea as to what actually a teacher would possibly do extra.
My children never came home with anything from their teachers. No gifts, reward stickers, medals, cards, etc. Except for 2 years running where their teachers gave them a Christmas card each.
So, they gave a card in return to the teachers.
To be honest, buying a teacher a gift has never crossed my mind. I've only realised it's a thing in the last few years.

@Liverbird77

Sorry for all the typos above! I hope my post makes sense...typing on my phone whilst breastfeeding my youngest!!!

No worries, I've been the same this year. I had my 3rd little one a week after lockdown in March. I've had to learn to type one handed while breast feeding 😂

It seems distasteful in the extreme, given that many schools are having to operate as or alongside food banks.

I still am puzzled as to what type of schools even allow the gifts and collections to take place...i spoke with a friend the other day and she was a head teacher at appx 8 schools in her career, and she told me that gifts are banned and not allowed..!!

@earsup

I still am puzzled as to what type of schools even allow the gifts and collections to take place...i spoke with a friend the other day and she was a head teacher at appx 8 schools in her career, and she told me that gifts are banned and not allowed..!!

My FIL is headmaster at a school (private) which allows gifts. MIL is a teacher at a different school (private) which allows gifts. My stepmother is a TA at a state primary which allowed gifts. My children’s state primary allows gifts. I am chair of governors at a different state primary which allows gifts. So that’s 5 different schools right there.

@Albertashor3

It seems distasteful in the extreme, given that many schools are having to operate as or alongside food banks.

Does that apply to all presents, or just ones for teachers?

The teachers at my DC's school have worked so hard through lockdown and now that schools are open. They look after the things that are most precious to me. Am I not allowed to recognise that with a gift? It's not impossible to donate to charity too.

Oh dear just seen this on newspaper web

This has made it to the daily mail

The Daily Mail missed the independent school thing too.

The MEN missed the independent school bit too

This reminds me of when I was 10 (56 now) and we had a lovely male teacher, Mr. Dhar, he was strict but very kind. . As kids, many from very poor backrounds, started saving for a watch for him, I couldn't tell you how much we collected, but we all bowled down the market with a bag full of change and went into the jewellers (Mum told me years later that the watch he gave us cost double the amount we collected, Her sister worked in their and the owner was so touched) and got Mr. Dhars watch, when we presented it to him, he cried, I will never forget that.
Sorry, a bit off subject, but suddenly brought such a warm memory back.

there not their