DH regularly tells me to 'shut up' when I baby talk DS

[Millano]

Just that really- AIB overly sensitive when DH mutters or says 'shut up' when I'm baby talking to our 5 month old DS. I realise it's probably quite insane to listen to because (this just happened) I use a baby voice when undressing him for bath and say 'it's bare butt time! It's bare butt time!' and DS is pissing himself laughing. But I just heard DH say shut up, and I just said 'I hear that from you a lot, it's just so upsetting'. I'm sat sulking now. I'm being pathetic right??

[quote DianaT1969]@GoldenOmbre - in the OP's 2nd post she said that she talks to her baby all throughout the day in various voices. They are stuck in the house together.
Regarding my comment about mutual attraction and respect comment - I made it because it doesn't help the OP if posters just agree and sympathise with her. She and her DH need to get on. It goes both ways - he has just upset her and made her sad. [/quote]
What she said was, "DH works from home now so hears me talk to DS all the time."

If you can read that and think "well I bet that's really annoying for your husband though, you should probably talk to the baby less to make him happier" then your priorities may be a bit off.

'Bare butt time' really is embarassing.

He’s a miserly old twat.

All babies need to be talked to and sang to lots, it majorly helps their development. Continue showing your baby lots of love and divorce the miserable bastard.

@GoldenOmber "well I bet that's really annoying for your husband though, you should probably talk to the baby less to make him happier"

But did people actually say that? How come you got that from the posts?

LTB lol, honesty though what actual fk.

Difficult enough to raise a child without another man child looking for attention.

[quote Faultymain5]**@GoldenOmber* "well I bet that's really annoying for your husband though, you should probably talk to the baby less to make him happier"*

But did people actually say that? How come you got that from the posts?[/quote]
From the post that said "I understand talking to a baby is necessary, but it doesn't need to be incessant and inane. Why not reduce it a bit OP? You are sharing a space with your DH and if he is working and overhearing it, it probably gets incredibly irritating."

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@eckhart absolutely. Possibly that's why my dc are both Oxbridge. I thank my hv for telling me it was her job to make sure I spoke to my DS enough for him to develop speech. So I read him the Iliad and the Odyssey and nurtured a live of classics. He took a first in Classics from Oxford in 2017. Currently doing a PhD.

High standards beget high standards and don't include "butts".[/quote]
Honestly don't know if this is real or sarcastic! 😂

@LunaLula83

'Bare butt time' really is embarassing.

It's not being said for the purposes of personal social advancement.

@LunaLula83

'Bare butt time' really is embarassing.

I think it's adorable and funny. She's hardly shouting it in the pub.

As others have said - talk as much as you can to your baby - and as for "baby voice" - research has shown that babies respond to this higher "baby voice" that almost all women, and many man use with small children and infants.

Your DH is wrong on every count.

Lots of speech, lots of vocal "labelling", lots of repetition, lots of high voice.

(I was a Speech and Language Therapist)

@LunaLula83

'Bare butt time' really is embarassing.

I agree it should be "bare BUM time".

Get it right OP

There's a reason midwives talk to you in private when you have a baby about the risks of domestic violence increasing. Some revolting, broken excuses of men get jealous of the baby taking the attention off themselves, and become first sniping, with their nasty comments, and then the banging and slamming starts, and then the violence.

Sneering, jealousy, comments like this is how it starts.

Your DH has set himself up in competition with your son, and you need to now be in high alert for him to escalate.

@GoldenOmber
From the post that said "I understand talking to a baby is necessary, but it doesn't need to be incessant and inane. Why not reduce it a bit OP? You are sharing a space with your DH and if he is working and overhearing it, it probably gets incredibly irritating."

I stand corrected, didn’t see that one and it reads a little strange to me too. Good for you picking it up.

Thought you were one of the ‘either or brigade’. Apologies.

As loads of people have already said, it is very important in a child's development, and all societies do it - talk to babies in a special baby voice, it is a natural thing that mothers' do.
It is important in the development of speech and in the development of human interaction, and the rhythms and to and fro of conversation - question/response intonation, pauses different tempos of speech. The exaggerated sing song voice, use of nonsense sounds capture the baby's attention and make the mother's face more mobile, it brings tone and facial expression into play - these are all things we learn as babies that become second nature, so we can move on to wider circles of interaction.
It strengthens the bond between parent and child, and anyone who doesn't like it maybe needs to wonder why it is so common and occurs everywhere. It's as instinctive as rocking the baby.
Ignore the faux sophisticates OP, and carry on delighting and nurturing your child.

And your DH sounds like a bit of a knob (or as we idiot mothers would say 'Oo's a gwate big grumpy old knob-knob then?)

@Daphnise perhaps you would have benefitted from baby talk, your parents clearly didn't teach you manners.

@LizziesHandbag

As loads of people have already said, it is very important in a child's development, and all societies do it - talk to babies in a special baby voice, it is a natural thing that mothers' do. It is important in the development of speech and in the development of human interaction, and the rhythms and to and fro of conversation - question/response intonation, pauses different tempos of speech. The exaggerated sing song voice, use of nonsense sounds capture the baby's attention and make the mother's face more mobile, it brings tone and facial expression into play - these are all things we learn as babies that become second nature, so we can move on to wider circles of interaction. It strengthens the bond between parent and child, and anyone who doesn't like it maybe needs to wonder why it is so common and occurs everywhere. It's as instinctive as rocking the baby. Ignore the faux sophisticates OP, and carry on delighting and nurturing your child.

And your DH sounds like a bit of a knob (or as we idiot mothers would say 'Oo's a gwate big grumpy old knob-knob then?)

Lovely post!

I assume you are spending most of the day in a relatively small house / flat where your husband is trying to work?

There does need to be a bit of mutual awareness that he needs to accept some baby chat and you need to wind it down a bit - nappy changing song - really?

@SchadenfreudePersonified re research, do they compare those children who got baby talk as opposed to those who didn’t? And how do they make sure parents don’t fall into baby speak as it’s so instinctive. How is it all measured? I’m really curious as no-one has ever mentioned it to me before this post.

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@eckhart absolutely. Possibly that's why my dc are both Oxbridge. I thank my hv for telling me it was her job to make sure I spoke to my DS enough for him to develop speech. So I read him the Iliad and the Odyssey and nurtured a live of classics. He took a first in Classics from Oxford in 2017. Currently doing a PhD.

High standards beget high standards and don't include "butts".[/quote]
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Splendid.

@LizziesHandbag it is not natural to every mother. It sure wasn’t to me.
What does that mean for those of us that don’t fall into that neat box? I thought we all as parents just do different things, now I’m hearing I’m just not ‘normal’. Thank god that stage is all over.

High pitched, sing song, silly sounds is proven to be instinctive for most people around a baby and very good for early language development definitely. It sounds like you are naturally good at it and maybe he isn't and doesn't understand why it is important and natural. Maybe him reading about it might help.

But was he objecting to that, or is it actually words you are saying? I admit I snapped at my DH when he said 'little man' to our DS as a newborn. We had a bit of a row because he didn't think it was fair to me to dictate what words he uses to speak to his son, which is fair enough, but a few more glares from me everytime he said it swiftly put a stop to it. Same when he called our new born daughter princess. It only happened once. But bare butt time did make me cringe a lot. And to say it twice?! What is your nappy changing song like? Maybe he just doesn't like how crude it is?

Normal or natural or whatever, he shouldn't be telling you to shut up and your willingness to think he might be right shows that he's a bit of a knob! He should STFU.

[quote Faultymain5]@LizziesHandbag it is not natural to every mother. It sure wasn’t to me.
What does that mean for those of us that don’t fall into that neat box? I thought we all as parents just do different things, now I’m hearing I’m just not ‘normal’. Thank god that stage is all over.[/quote]
Again, I think you might be really surprised if you saw a video of you interacting with your baby at a time where you didn't know/weren't self-conscious about being filmed.

I'm just surprised that not everyone has a nappy changing song. I sing and chat inane daft crap to my now 2 year old all the time, so does her dad

Speak to your baby however the hell you like. Jesus Christ. He needs to wear headphones if it's annoying him.

It would drive me insane to hear baby talk all day stuck in together. But I wouldn't tell you to shut up. Or at least not seriously. I might have to have a word with you about it if we were together 247 and I was wfh but there's ways to be nice.

Baby talk wasn't natural to me. I just spoke to them.
But I appreciate other people do it instinctively!