To think a woman wouldn't be praised for this like a man was

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

Seen this story a few times today about Tom Cruise screaming at crew members on the set of Mission Impossible 7 for not social distancing and threatening to fire them www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/entertainment-arts-55330579

The comments on social media are almost unanimously positive, lots of "good for him" "well done Tom" and "he's gone up in my estimation".

Any time I see something like this I imagine how the reaction would be if it was a story about a woman. If Nicole Kidman had done this I bet my bottom dollar she'd be branded a psycho, hysterical, over emotional, needs to calm down, who does she think she is speaking like that to those poor men etc.

FWIW I think he behaved appallingly if my boss screamed at me at work I'd have something to say about it.

But AIBU to think a woman would have been treated differently for doing the same thing?

There were no accusations against Ellen herself. It was against various senior staff/producers hired by Warner Bros that worked on the Ellen show.

There were accusations against Ellen herself. Interns told not to speak to her. Interns told that each week she would pick one to be horrid towards, but not to worry because she would choose a different one the following week.

It started with the accusations that she ignored the bad behaviour of her producers and then people, and celebtoris, started coming forward with the accusations directly against her.

*PlanDeRaccordement
GlummyMcGlummerson

Op I personally think it's a very odd thing to try and compare to how a woman would be received , if I'm honest.

Why is it odd?

But in this case you are comparing Tom Cruise IRL reaction to an imaginary what if a woman did it. Because it is all in your imagination, you can say it would go however you please to fit your narrative. The whole “if it were” is not a valid comparison and says more about you than about the world

Completely agree with this - how can we even compare "what reaction would a woman get" when it's totally hypothetical?!
It's a made up scenario in your head that hasn't happened so of course it stands to reason that your own view of the world will put a spin on how that goes.

@PlanDeRaccordement yes there were accusations against Ellen (and also her producers and seemingly she did nothing about them)

Also the Ellen accusations aren't just to do with furlough, there's been rumours for years apparently. Look it up

Ok, so you say there were accusations against Ellen herself.
But she is not cancelled.
I’ve just IMBD’d her. She is currently working on four other shows:
Little Funny- TV series (which she wrote)
Couple Time- TV movie
Wildlife Warriors- TV series
Jekyll- Movie which is in pre-production.

If she were cancelled, she would not have four current ongoing, not yet released things going.

You really are splitting hairs @PlanDeRaccordement to try and discredit what I've said. I wouldn't take IMDB as gospel either.

And it depends what your definition of cancelled is. She's been advised to come of social media and she's written an apology as advised by her PR team. I doubt Mr Cruise will be made to do anything like that

If she were cancelled, she would not have four current ongoing, not yet released things going

Sounds about as cancelled as Laurence Fox claims to have been....yet he's been busy acting in 2019 and 2020

www.imdb.com/name/nm0289114/

Ellen has been horrible for years and shes gotten away with it. She forced Mariah Caret to reveal her pregnancy on air. She pushed and pushed but Mariah steered around it so Ellen got out champagne and kept trying to force her to drink or admit she was pregnant. Mariah last the baby nit long after that and because if Ellen, everyone knee so she had to announce it. That's just one thing Ellen did. There are hundreds more. But, just like Tom Cruise, she is a very rich, very powerful, very loved celebrity. She got away with bullying her guests and bullying her staff. The accusations are easy for you to find online and she has apologised for her behaviour and has been a lot less active lately.

She got away with it mostly though, just like a lot of men do.

Am I splitting hairs? I think you keep changing things around. Saying Ellen DeGeneres was cancelled, when she wasn’t. Only one show of hers that was already ailing for years has ended after some 4,000 or so episodes. Which is actually a good run for any TV show.

And you’re saying that according to rumours, Ellen had been nasty to her staff for “years” is bullying that goes on for years really comparable to a single five minute tantrum about being Covid safe? I don’t think so.

The actions aren’t comparable, and neither has been cancelled.

I'm not saying she was cancelled. I replied early on saying that I didn't think Tom Cruise had done anything wrong, but I also didnt think a woman would necessarily have been treated badly if she had done the same thing.

My comments about ellen were purely in response to you saying that there were no accusations against her. There were many, going back for years.

Sorry @WhereverIGoddamnLike I was responding to @GlummyMcGlummerson’s posts not your post :)

Can’t stand him.

They should replace Ellen with Tig Notaro. That would be good.

100% YANBU. Yes some women have been twats and got away with it but in this scenario if it was Nicole Kidman or equivalent she would have been eaten alive.

Doesn’t anyone remember Christian Bale losing his shit at a tech guy on the set of terminator? He WAS ridiculed, the recording of his ranting got turned into various remixed songs on YouTube 😂 and he was meme-ified for a while. So I don’t believe it’s a clear cut case of saying men and women who behave this way get treated differently. Comparing sports stars losing their rag to conditions on a film set where quite literally millions of pounds are going down the drain when delays are caused is also an unfair comparison.

Tom Cruise is a producer on those movies. Production has already been stopped and millions of dollars lost. Not to mention this isn’t a normal situation but a health crisis, where thoughtless action could result in the ill health or even death of someone else. If some foolish people repeatedly fail to follow what I imagine are strict and constantly reinforced rules then I’m not surprised he got angry and scolded them. I don’t think a woman would be castigated either, for doing similar.

We know that if a woman sleeps around she's considered a slag and a man's a hero. There are no rules about numbers or times or ages or circumstances - because that is the sentiment

I think the times moved on while you werent watching Im afraid

A group of my friends (female) use slut as a word of endearment even the more promiscuous of our friends calls herself a slut but not in a negative way if that makes sense, we dont use the term hero for guys who sleep around theyre called fuck boys

You really don't have to look far to find stars of both sexes that freak out at and yell at employees. Cruise was unlucky enough to be filmed, but there are lots of stories about similar kinds of incidents. The people who perpetrate them don't seem to get cancelled unless they cease to be profitable.

This has been a really weird thread.
Fwiw I think yabu becuaee I do think TC is absolutely bonkers and have done for years. I have seen many comments saying the same so haven't seen unanimous support for him. You will of course get the 'blindly agree with anyone shouting about covid' people who I do think would stick up for a woman in the same way as TC. I imagine they make up a large percentage of of the comments you have read.

I do have to add that I have felt really uncomfortable reading your full take down of another woman on this thread, going back through posting history etc and giving snippets of old conversations in an attempt to discredit her. It has been truly horrible to read.

@Fatladyslim

This has been a really weird thread. Fwiw I think yabu becuaee I do think TC is absolutely bonkers and have done for years. I have seen many comments saying the same so haven't seen unanimous support for him. You will of course get the 'blindly agree with anyone shouting about covid' people who I do think would stick up for a woman in the same way as TC. I imagine they make up a large percentage of of the comments you have read.

I do have to add that I have felt really uncomfortable reading your full take down of another woman on this thread, going back through posting history etc and giving snippets of old conversations in an attempt to discredit her. It has been truly horrible to read.

Glummy wasn't the worst offender for this on this thread, although she did 'fully agree' with it.

I appreciate that I give as good as I get , but as this is about the third thread it's happened, rather than just donning my tin hat and leaving I find myself remaining defiant out of principle rather than anything else

@PicsInRed

If it was a woman of his age, she'd be torn to pieces and social media shamed. She'd be a meme.

But women are torn apart for far less ...than what he is praised for.

If it was a woman of his age, she wouldn't be there in the first place as she'd be far too old and repulsive to act in a Hollywood movie. Either that or she'd be playing Tom's mum.

@JustAnotherPoster00 with respect, just because your friends call each other sluts as a term of endearment it doesn't mean that the world has shifted its attitude for promiscuous women - because no one else will see it as something to be respected. It just means they've got a good bunch of friends who don't judge them - but two men have always had that

just because your friends call each other sluts as a term of endearment

this sounds as likely as using the word C*nt as a term of endearment.

Like black people reclaiming the n word for themselves. Maybe just not use any of these horrible expressions?

As for the original topic, yes men are allowed to be assertive, women saying the same things are aggressive. I don't like Priti Patel at all (why does she always smirk?) but I suspect that if she were a white bloke whatever she had said would have been acceptable.

I suspect that if she were a white bloke whatever she had said would have been acceptable.

Not acceptable, but definitely not brought to light. I suspect there are many white men in parliament who behave in a similar or even worse manner, most of it won't be spoken about never mind reported.