To leave one girls name off the team card?

[GinAtMerlottes]

DD (10) joined a sports team in September. There is 9 of them in the team and two or three who train with them but aren’t in the official team.
The coach is a volunteer and she puts in so so much effort with the girls and is just so lovely. The team in this iteration is new and this is her first year coaching also.

I sent a message to all the other parents to see if they wanted to contribute to a joint gift. Quite a few did so I set up a PayPal pool and set the amount for £10. In the end everyone contributed, and the training kids put in £5 and we got 100 odd quid. Bought some vouchers and am going to give them along with a card and wine tonight.

One set of parents didn’t respond at all to any messages about the present and didn’t mention it to me at training either. No problem at all but it does mean every others kids name is on the card but not theirs. They are very involved with the team and the sport so no doubt they’ve done their own thing or whatever but WIBU to leave this girls name off?

I also arrange the teacher collection at school and don’t set an amount for that and have just written “from class” in the cards regardless of who has actually contributed. But this is a sports team they elect to join so feels a bit different.

Small issue but preoccupying me this morning. I try and be very inclusive etc in everything and doesn’t sit well to leave off one name.

God this crap used to drive me crazy when my kids were in junior school. Put the child's name on the card and get s sense of proportion FGS.

Is the child even going to read it?

@Thespidersweb

Is the child even going to read it?

Hardly the point.

Its the thought that counts not if the child reads it.

@littlefireseverywhere

Actually thinking about it surely this thread must be a wind up no one would be that awful?

I hope so.

Is the child even going to read it?
Probably not, but the attitude of a parent who almost revels in doing what they can to be queen bees whilst leaving others out is an unpleasant attitude.

The child's parents could have any number of reasons why they have chosen not to get involved in a team collection with a set amount.

There's no reason for the OP to specifically add the child's name as there may be a reason why they chose not to that's belief based, but OP could easily sign the card as being from the team instead of writing each child's name out.

The only reason she is choosing to write each child's name out in this situation is because she wants to make it clear that one child's parents haven't been involved. It's quite unpleasant.

It is also important to think how the person receiving it will feel. As I've said before when I ran an after school activity I did it because I wanted kids to have the opportunity. We were volunteers and did our best to make it affordable and accessible to all kids. Local SENCOs were recommending us to parents as an activity where their children would be accepted. One of the things that made us feel it was worthwhile was one little boy who had serious problems and after being with us for a couple of years won an award for his behaviour. His mother came and showed us and thanked us for what we had done. So much more important to us than an expensive present.

If someone had tried to deliberately leave one of our children out I don't know what we would have done. We wouldn't have wanted the gift or card but maybe we would have taken it to avoid a scene.

@elfishere I wouldn't worry about embarrassing your child with lack of gift contributions. Your written English should do the trick... that is infinitely more embarrassing.

As a teacher, I can tell you that you would be talked about in the staff room as a (thick) bitch for your actions. Nobody would give a shiny shit about the ten pound you had starved yourself to contribute, but would be horrified at the poor example of humanity you are setting for your son.

I'm glad you can afford £10 ... so can I. I wouldn't even need to skip food... I must therefore work MUCH harder than you (if we are using your logic).

Your inability to see that other people's situations are harder than yours simply highlights your lack of intelligence.