Urgent Help I don't know what to do AIBU?

[NamechangedforAIBU]

I've name changed because my post is very outing and I don't want my SIL who is on here and my best 2 friends in the entire world who know my username on here to find out.
So what do I do, AIBU or is it ok?
Please be gentle with me, I've been awake all night not sure what to do and written a list of the for's and against and since cannot decide.
I just cannot ask my family or my work colleagues I'm working from home and feel a bit distant from them all the closeness at work has gone and we haven't seen each other in months. I really cannot bear asking my 2 best friends they won't judge me but it will make a difference to our friendship.
So I'm at the mercy of MN. Yes I know some will flame and some will be cruel and mean but there are people on here that will also be kind and helpful so hoping that one of those can help me out?
Thanks in advance

Book yourself a spa day.

@WhySoSensitive

You need to take screen shots as evidence and make sure you have your own finances. For the love of god DO NOT ENGAGE and make sure you’ve parked appropriately.

Should I have included a diagram - would that help with advice?

Diagram

----------
here X
---------

So what do you think?

@efes

So you've bought your MIL a niche personal appliance from a specialist store and are unsure whether to give it to her?

Yes, do it.

Do Euronics sell those types of products? 😮

Unless you are in the throws of an actual heart attack do not go to A&E.....go to the pharmacist instead.

But make sure you have put the chicken in the slow cooker first so you can eat for the next week.

Eh? Well this is weird 😂

Do you need help to hide a body or something?

Why haven't you logged it with 101?

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!!

Well this is exciting.

Sounds like its a classic CF situation. Here's 20 versions of a text message reply you won't actually send, and a handhold .

@OhLittleBoreOfWhabylon

Why haven't you logged it with 101?

I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN!!!

I don't have children.

I do have to consider my fur babies feelings though and my 12 cats - what will they do if this comes out?

You should totally LTB or cancel the cheque or get your ducks in a row or something

Please ignore this advice OP ^^

Getting your ducks into an argument will NOT help anyone at this stressful time.

you do you hun x

I always get my ducks in order, until 1 bastard gets away.

This was was 1 minute of my life I won’t get back. Yabu

I definitely think you should try putting breast milk on it. Or possibly coconut oil. Or both.

LTB,
Go NC with your MIL from hell,
Don’t leave the kids an inheritance they should learn the value of money,
Put a note through the neighbours door informing them their large conifer blocks your light,
And yes that is a faint line on your pregnancy test!
😂

LTB. Get your ducks in a row. And throw out the penis beaker.

Well keep out of the way and don't turn up at the funeral ( very suspicious behaviour indeed)

Hope the cats get through this tough time.

I don't have children.

Nevertheless I think you should accept Winchester. Eton is on a downward spiral and Harrow ...

Of course your friends are jealous. And your SIL is already spreading unsavoury rumours about where you got the money. Return all the presents you've bought for them and spend the money on extra tuition for your non-existent children. You'll thank me come Common Entrance time ...

I think I've had a sense of humour bypass this morning.

And OP, get an STI test, because after all, you just never know!!

Definitely get a Covid test.

Do Euronics sell those types of products?

Yes. Have you not read 1001 uses for a hair dryer?

Have you tried yoga?

I don't know what you find so funny about this. I'm glad you're not teaching MY children. And I hope someone reports you to the RSPCA, some people shouldn't be allowed pets. You are literally the scum of the earth.
HTH.
Oh, and Merry Christmas!