I’m broody at age 47

[Blackcelebration12]

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first at the same age as my me (47) using donor eggs and it’s made me broody & longing for the baby/young kids phase again as mine are older.

It’s bonkers & selfish though right? I do feel too old but also feel like I’d like to do it all again. Maybe that broody feeling never leaves you does it?

In my rational moments, I really don’t want a teenager in my 60s as I don’t think it’s fair on the child. But then I see babies & get the longing.

Aibu to ask if any of you have felt like this? Talk me down- I know it’s perimenopause too & my ovaries giving it a last burst of broodiness.

@Blackcelebration12 I think it’s just a peri menopause thing. It’s hormones, not emotions.

We are clearly not too old to have babies if we are falling pregnant in our 40s.

How mean must you be to come on here & insult people for their parenting decisions? Does it make you feel good about your own life?

Go take a long hard look in the mirror. And stop judging other people while you/re at it.

I'm guessing it's some mad hormonal surge @Blackcelebration12, peri-meno has done all manner of peculiar things to me! Hope it simmers down soon.

Broody at almost 50? Don’t worry, you will be a grandparent all too soon

One of the best mums I know is 55 with a 5 year old. Who cares about age, could be worn out and lethargic in your 20s, everyone is different.

I think it's alright for people who have conceived naturally without any issues in their 20's/early 30's saying over 40 is too old as some women have been trying for their first or second child for a long time, that's taken years of fertility treatment/miscarriages etc.
Some of these posts are pretty cruel calling women selfish, the lady who is pregnant with doner eggs im guessing had fertility issues and maybe she would have had her own children earlier if life worked out that way for her. But life sometimes doesn't and isn't fair. I'm 31 and have been trying for my second for 3+ years and hope it happens soon, but there's no guarantee it will and I could easily be one of those selfish women in ten years time.

I really can't get worked up about women having babies in their forties. Personally, It would be my idea of hell, but worse things happen at sea. My mum had me in her twenties and was dead before I was a teenager.

It's not the baby stage I wouldn't want to do again - it's the teenage years!

Death can affect families at any age..it’s just random. my dad had me at 24, my brother at 30, and he died when I was 18 and my bro was 12. nothing is guaranteed

@ivfbeenbusy

You have to remember that your friend is pregnant only by virtue of the fact she has used another woman's eggs who are probably 20 years younger than hers. She will have no genetic connection to the baby. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

This. There's a whole can of worms surrounding donor gametes - I'm not sure I'm against it per se, but there needs to be very careful thought on the donor's and recipient's parts, as well as potential counselling for the child in future as it can really upset some people when they find out they're not biologically related to their parents.

Anyway OP, sounds like you're sure you're not going to do that, just looking for reassurance that this is normal - which it is! It's your ovaries giving their last gasp of reproductive potential. Let it pass, and be thankful you aren't up to your eyeballs in nappies in your fifties!

Crikey No 😳😳😳

I might have misread your post @LifeAfterBreastCancer but if you've had menopause and have suddenly started bleeding again it's best to speak to a gynae as sometimes not a period and might need looked at.

Hope you're well.

Well quite, DH's Mum was 20 when she had him and dead at 34, my Mum had my youngest brother at 40 and is still hale and hearty in her mid-70s. I don't think it's selfish to have a baby at any age as long as you are able to provide emotionally and materially for a child, crack on as far as I'm concerned.

I'm very much looking forward to my mid 50s though, DH and I have all sorts of plans for when they've flown the nest!

@gingganggooleywotsit

Death can affect families at any age..it’s just random. my dad had me at 24, my brother at 30, and he died when I was 18 and my bro was 12. nothing is guaranteed

Yes, tragedies can happen at any age but life expectancy for a,woman in the UK is 81 so chances are good.

I agree with PP’s saying it’s probably hormones as I’m exactly the same at 46! I never took much notice of other people’s babies until a couple of years ago, now I’m hugely sentimental. Luckily DH has had a vasectomy so even if I decided to try in a moment of madness, there’s no chance.

I know I don’t really want another child, it’s my ovaries telling me I’ve run out of time 🤣. I do know someone who had a surprise third baby at 47 and several people who had children 43-45.

It's obviously not completely random. You're far, far more likely to die before your child is an adult if you are an older parent. For instance, someone in their mid-60s is about 8.5 times more likely to die in any one year than someone in their mid-40s. According to some UK statistics I've just had a quick look at.

As I said above, thanks for your comments, it’s helped me take a deep breath & calm down & think rationally about it. I am actually really enjoying my kids at the moment (despite a row with my 13 year old about homework) and enjoy their company.

I think the question to ask yourself is how long do you want to be around for your children when they grow up? Would you like to see your grandchildren grow up?
I had my children in my mid thirties, my youngest is now 23 years old and I do think about the fact when he reaches his early 40's I will be 60 years old.
My mum started fairly young and is around to see her grandchildren marry and meet great grandchildren.

@Shuffled

I've never felt broody, what does it feel like?

I was going to ask the same question, I've never had a moment of broodiness in my life.

I was 30 when my first one was born and 39 when the last one came along.
I was writing this post with the impression that the OP didn't have kids but she already has.
My opinion is that I and DH don't have the energy to start all that again.
My DH says when the first one was young he would join them all playing football etc, but when the youngest was of the same age he would go straight into goal and now he would probably just sit down cheering them all on !!!

I have a colleague who used donor eggs and had a baby at 48. I would look over at her during handover (nurse) and she would have nodded off, or her eyes rolling with drifting off to sleep. She looked knackered all the time. I am 43 with dc 16 & 17 and could never ever imagine feeling broody again. I adore my dc but I am absolutely done. Dh has 2 grandchildren and that's enough!

Sorry I meant to say I will be 80 years old!

I feel broody and im 48, i even felt slightly envious of Rachel Weiz when i saw she was pregnant at 48. I have 3 children and youngest is 8. I know i could well be able to look after another baby but I would be afraid in case something is wrong with the baby given my age :( so im done too

@Meowchickameowmeow. I never had a broody moment until around 45, when I’m guessing I hit a certain point in perimenopause.😂. I have children, but I didn’t have them because I felt “broody” per se. This is a sentimental, awww sort of feeling. At least that’s how I’m experiencing it!

To the posters getting upset at seeing (many) posters saying 'hell no, I would never have a baby past 41/42, so many reasons not to, you'll be in your 60s when they're a teen, so many negatives to it...and so on..' The posters saying these kind of comments have obviously hit a raw nerve, so I suggest you avoid these older mum type threads in future.

People are entitled to their opinions and views, and many people would not choose to have a baby in middle age, and will state the reasons why on threads like this. So if you are going to get upset at people opinions on threads like this, then don't come on the threads.