I’m broody at age 47

[Blackcelebration12]

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first at the same age as my me (47) using donor eggs and it’s made me broody & longing for the baby/young kids phase again as mine are older.

It’s bonkers & selfish though right? I do feel too old but also feel like I’d like to do it all again. Maybe that broody feeling never leaves you does it?

In my rational moments, I really don’t want a teenager in my 60s as I don’t think it’s fair on the child. But then I see babies & get the longing.

Aibu to ask if any of you have felt like this? Talk me down- I know it’s perimenopause too & my ovaries giving it a last burst of broodiness.

There are a few posts on this thread who are very defensive about the fact that they chose to have late babies and believe that having your children younger prematurely ages you , it really doesn’t.

I’m well aware that not everyone is decrepit in their 50s or 60s, some people are fit and healthy well into old age. However, having worked health care for years, including on a stroke unit, I’ve seen first hand the amount of people who do have a life changing event or illness in their 50s or 60s. In my time working on the small stroke unit, I saw quite a lot of healthy 50 somethings admitted. I don’t think I was anyone under 50 though. I mean it does happen, but it’s much more rare.

So for me it’s not about keeping myself young having kids at an older age. I don’t intend to be old before my time just because I had my kids in my 20s. I intend to be working full time, travelling and enjoying hobbies. However for me having a young dependent feels like too much of a gamble. Yes, you might win that gamble, but you might not. I know things can happen at any age and everything in life involves a certain amount of risk and uncertainty, but age age goes up, so does your chance of something serious happening.

So to all those women happily raising teens in their 60s, good for you, I’m pleased that you won the gamble, I wish you all a long and healthy life. But I wouldn’t judge others for thinking that for them it’s too much of a risk and advising the OP against doing it.

Also, if you’ve only had kids at an older age you probably don’t appreciate the difference in energy levels. In my 20s I could easily function well on a few hours sleep. Now in my mid 30s, I’m a miserable cow with no sleep! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel too old to have a baby now! If I didn’t have older kids then I’d certainly go for it, but I don’t think I’d breeze through the sleepless nights like I did 15 years ago.

People should respect that others see things differently. My sister in law will be having her second at 45. I’d never say anything to her, it’s her choice and I’m happy for them. But on the quiet, I am a bit worried.

@Ihatefish. it's amazing what a positive impact a pet has..even a tiny rodent! I never thought I'd love a hamster so much! Ffs!

This thread has given me much food for thought!

I did think last night that I definitely don’t want to be restricted to only school holiday holidays until my 60’s & look forward to the freedom to travel again out if the 13 weeks a year I am currently limited to!!

So hamster it is 🤣

I do agree that it isn’t ideal to have babies at the very end of your fertile years, for the simple reason that the later you have them, the less time you get with them. For me it was late, or never. I would have liked to have had them ten years earlier of course, but life is unpredictable and I didn’t get the chance. I am very grateful that I got pregnant easily in my forties, or I might not have had any children at all.

Interesting what feels normal and what doesn't. I am 46 and have a 2 year old. I am one of the oldest mums amongst in my friends/family circle, but not the only one and not by far. No one had their first child before 35-36, most around the 40 year mark with quite a few some years later as I did.
Looking outside at old school friends etc the odd ones who had a baby in their twenties were because of a poor/not educated background or because it was an accident.
This to say all is relative really... All our children will have parents of roughly the same age, all of us go/will go on holiday during school half terms and will be retired when they will still be in education. This is our 'normalized' reality if you are looking at it from another perspective.
To think potentially I could be a grandmother is mind blowing. It would be no different than thinking I could fly or live on Mars.

But I am still curious if people think it is doable if money was no object. If a woman got pregnant naturally at 50 and the baby was ok, is it doable with lots of help? In my mind, the greatest issue is not just about conception but whether the baby would be healthy enough to go full term. I imagine women conceive if they haven’t gone through menopause but it is whether the foetus can survive.

@DonnaQuixotedelaManchester

But I am still curious if people think it is doable if money was no object. If a woman got pregnant naturally at 50 and the baby was ok, is it doable with lots of help? In my mind, the greatest issue is not just about conception but whether the baby would be healthy enough to go full term. I imagine women conceive if they haven’t gone through menopause but it is whether the foetus can survive.

I wish it was do-able, I’ve been contraceptive free for a year and still haven’t conceived other than a chemical

Had four pregnancies conceived with basically just one bd in my 20s and 30s!

To think potentially I could be a grandmother is mind blowing. It would be no different than thinking I could fly or live on Mars.

Me too at 47. Just wasn’t going to be the case.

I'm 34 and consciously channeling my broodiness for future grandkids. When I see a stranger with a tiny newborn and just want to snatch it and hold it and sniff it's head I say 'Ohh I hope I have grandkids one day' instead of 'Oh I want another one'.

Apart from the lack of energy as you age ( well from me anyway) I also think that with my youngest not to many years from being a teenager I can see a time where I can start doing more things from myself. My DH also will be happy not to have the pressure of working and we may be able to actually save some money!!
There are a lot of factors apart from actually being able to conceive when it comes to having kids, your energy levels and the financial implications to name two.
I am not sure I am ready for GC yet, but it will be a great time where I can hopefully enjoy the best bits and have a lot less of the stresses!!

i didn’t feel broody in the slightest until I reached 35. Then it hit me like a steam train

That's exactly what happened to me! I never wanted kids and then it was as if my body clock went crazy overnight. I had 2 mc's then had DS at 41. I would have loved another but it never happened.

I can understand the need for a baby in your 40s if you haven't already got kids. What if you don't meet the right partner until then? If you already have kids then it's most def mother nature and peri tricking you into doing it one last time!

Natural and easy pregnancies at 40 and 46. Hoping for another 🙏🙏🙏

I had my last at 44, with big age gaps between all 3. For the first two we struggled financially, both working FT and a short maternity break. I felt like I’d been hit by a truck with both 1 and 2. For my last, I could afford a doula and occasional night nanny when things got tough. I returned to work PT, after a v.long maternity break.

So overall, I’d say the 3rd was easier for me, I was more experienced with life and financially stable. I’m now early 50s, and not slowing down.

My 3rd completed our family, and is much loved by the older 2, and my 3rd worships the ground her siblings walk on. The age gaps have helped us avoid sibling rivalry IMO.

I'm 46 with 3 DC, the mere mention of 'soft play' in an earlier post made my ovaries shrivel up to resemble raisins.

Love your post imsanehonest. Yep, I'm an older mum (48 years old to an 8 and 2 year old). I do groan at the thought of soft play, but I think I would have been the same twenty years ago lol. My first was planned (last chance saloon so I thought,). Then I discovered I was pregnant at the ripe old age of 45 (gave birth at 46). I have to say that I don't feel the odd one out at the school gates at all. Most of the mum's where I live are in their late thirties to mid forties. It's a personal choice, but personally I love being a Mama at my age. I'm in a fortunate position to be able to take a career break to devote all my time to my children.

Congratulations to all those who had their kids in their twenties. How clever of you!

I hate these threads. I had mine at 41 and 43. The sleepless nights etc have been absolutely fine so far. I love having a baby and a toddler. There is just 18 months between them and it is lovely. I would have another in a second, but my husband wants to stop at two.

I didn't meet my husband in my twenties. It's not like it was a deliberate choice not to have children then.

We have a lovely house, they have a big room each and they will both be privately educated. We have wills in place, detailing what will happen if we should die. We can afford for me to stay at home with them.
We are a very close, happy family.

Some of the comments on here are vile and ridiculous.