I’m broody at age 47

[Blackcelebration12]

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first at the same age as my me (47) using donor eggs and it’s made me broody & longing for the baby/young kids phase again as mine are older.

It’s bonkers & selfish though right? I do feel too old but also feel like I’d like to do it all again. Maybe that broody feeling never leaves you does it?

In my rational moments, I really don’t want a teenager in my 60s as I don’t think it’s fair on the child. But then I see babies & get the longing.

Aibu to ask if any of you have felt like this? Talk me down- I know it’s perimenopause too & my ovaries giving it a last burst of broodiness.

I'm now way too old to have children naturally but until I went through the menopause and came out the other side, I still felt almost hopeful that I might have one more baby! I can't imagine what my life would be like now, at almost 60, with a young teenager - I'm glad it didn't happen.

My 3 adult children are healthy and happy and I have a lovely relaxing life on the coast in our downsized cottage, with DH and Ddog. And one day there may be grandchildren, who knows?

[quote Blackcelebration12]@scoobydoo1971 I have thought about fostering funnily enough[/quote]
That would be a really worthwhile thing to do.

Emotional, for sure. our neighbours fostered 'Hard to place' children/teens and one lovely young lad clicked so well with them over years they asked him if he would like to be a permanent family member.
He said yes, so they adopted him legally.

They found boys a whole lot easier to manage once it got to teen fostering, despite the door punching anger of some.
With what the kids had gone through, hardly surprising they got angry.

@Blackcelebration12 Oh FFS NO! A million times no!

I had my 2 in my mid to late 20s, and got broody at around the age of 42, when they were in their mid teens.

I got past it though, (it lasted about six months.)

I am sooooo glad I never bothered, I would still have (at nearly 50,) ten years of the school run, school politics, mummy duties, and the responsibility for a child (and the expense that goes with it.) AND I would have all the going through uni expense and 'uni-home, home-uni' runs... in my early sixties. NOPE. NOOOOOOOO!

Instead I (and DH) are child free, school-run free, and have no child-related expenses, as they've both left!

I think anyone who has a baby past the age of 36/37 is bonkers! And having one if your early to mid 40s or older is just wrong on so many levels. It's incredibly unfair on the child to have a parent who is as old as most kids grandparents! AND to be a carer - or an orphan - in their late teens, or twenties, when they should be enjoying their youth.

Also, as many posters have said, there are soooo many things that can go wrong, with you AND the baby. And as has been said, why on earth anyone would want to start over with a new baby, when you should be enjoying the first flushes of middle-aged life with (GROWN UP children,) is beyond me!

Know exactly what you mean. I'm probably still fertile too plus newish dp, but I know it's not fair on the kid

I'd love another but I'm 41 and we're not in the best place career/family/financially. By the time life becomes more settled I know it will be too late

@MaelyssQ

I'm now way too old to have children naturally but until I went through the menopause and came out the other side, I still felt almost hopeful that I might have one more baby! I can't imagine what my life would be like now, at almost 60, with a young teenager - I'm glad it didn't happen.

My 3 adult children are healthy and happy and I have a lovely relaxing life on the coast in our downsized cottage, with DH and Ddog. And one day there may be grandchildren, who knows?

That's another thing. Teenagers in your sixties.... shudder!

Don't do it, it is your ovaries having a last fling. I had it, so did my mum and we managed to resist it.
My sister didn't and now has a 5 year old and has started a horrendous menopause. She is properly pissed off and keeps asking us why we didn't stop her.
When you hit the menopause you will feel utterly exhausted, sweaty and fed up and the last thing you will need is a small child running about demanding things.

I’m glad I started this thread actually! It’s good to get some sensible perspectives!!! I am really hormonal and a bit bonkers at the moment!!

It seems to be the thing around here to get a dog when your youngest is seven or eight. I think it’s a way of dealing with the broodiness. Could you consider that? Or volunteering in a deprived family household a morning a week to get your baby/toddler ‘fix’?

I had 2 of my 3 boys late in life, not much off 47 for the last 1! and I love them to bits etc. However if I had already had children and they were grown up, I wouldn't do it.

However, I do take exception to your term 'I wouldn't want teenagers in my 60s as it's not fair to the them'.

What's fair to them is being loved and treated well. Save your worries for parents who treat their kids like dirt, and age is no barrier to cruelty.

agree with Claire (am in a not dissimilar position)

I’m 42 and my second baby is currently 7 weeks old. I’m already upset about how fast it’s going and want another but realistically, I’d not start trying again until 43 and then if we were lucky enough to conceive I’d likely be 44 by time it was born and I just think that’s too much, both to have a baby that late on (I do think it’s different if it’s your first and you’ve been trying ages) is silly (for us anyway) given I’d then be 57 when it was a teenager and 62 when it was 18. Plus I’m scared it might have disabilities which could really affect my other two (healthy) children, not to mention the sleepless nights etc at 44 (it’s already bloody tough at 42).

But I wouldn’t judge you for it - I’m just saying for me, when I take a step back and look at the impact on our lives - could be a disaster

I think it's hormonal tbh, your body reminding you that your fertility is ending.

My great grandmother had a child at 48; I'm that age and whilst I'm sure that physically I would cope (as I'm at least as fit as I was at 30) I quite enjoy my easy life. I regularly look after a friend's semi house trained puppy and frankly after a day or 2 of his company I am ready to hand him back! I think if I was given a baby to look after I'd probably feel similarly.

My DP and I discussed it when we first met and decided that we didn't need to have any more children, and that there were more advantages in not doing so than disadvantages. I think it was the right decision; had we met sooner I might have decided differently. Had I not met him at all, I might have pursued the donor route and had another baby alone. I'd already raised 2 children mostly by myself and found the baby years pretty easy.

Overall though I'm happy with the life I have now.

I understand where u are coming from OP however I do think having babies in your mid to late 40s would be a nightmare, the stressful toddler/preschooler days come so quickly and the newborn stage is over in a blink of an eye but I understand romantisizing those days.

I would just look forward to your grandchildren days if you are blessed with them:-)

Not everyone has a bad menopause, but it's obviously a risk. I'd be concerned about the high risk of miscarriage or disability. And dying while they're still young (not uncommon to die in your 50s or 60s).

I think perhaps you may not have considered that teenagers are very hard work. GCSE's, A levels, university, house deposits.... I had both mine in my late twenties and early thirties, and am still exhausted. I may have had a harder teen than most, but I am still very glad I did not have another.

I've never felt broody, what does it feel like?

It’s your eggs having a last chance saloon pity party on your subconscious - IGNORE IT.
The broodiness can be overwhelming - I have 4DC myself.... but you have to ignore.

My mil was born when her mum was 47. Her siblings were 12 years plus older. No cousins her own age. She was lonely and spoilt and to be honest is still a bloody nightmare. Although that may be a coincidence ;)

And having one if your early to mid 40s or older is just wrong on so many levels

Not really fair to those of us who only managed to start a family in early 40s ...

I find any broody feelings are resolved by getting a puppy, horse or chicken.

[quote LisaLee333]@Blackcelebration12 Oh FFS NO! A million times no!

I had my 2 in my mid to late 20s, and got broody at around the age of 42, when they were in their mid teens.

I got past it though, (it lasted about six months.)

I am sooooo glad I never bothered, I would still have (at nearly 50,) ten years of the school run, school politics, mummy duties, and the responsibility for a child (and the expense that goes with it.) AND I would have all the going through uni expense and 'uni-home, home-uni' runs... in my early sixties. NOPE. NOOOOOOOO!

Instead I (and DH) are child free, school-run free, and have no child-related expenses, as they've both left!

I think anyone who has a baby past the age of 36/37 is bonkers! And having one if your early to mid 40s or older is just wrong on so many levels. It's incredibly unfair on the child to have a parent who is as old as most kids grandparents! AND to be a carer - or an orphan - in their late teens, or twenties, when they should be enjoying their youth.

Also, as many posters have said, there are soooo many things that can go wrong, with you AND the baby. And as has been said, why on earth anyone would want to start over with a new baby, when you should be enjoying the first flushes of middle-aged life with (GROWN UP children,) is beyond me![/quote]
That is such a cruel post. My children were naturally, and two of my 3 were born later in life (same husband to all three btw!). In between them, I had 3 miscarriages. One in late term.

Your post has made me so upset, to think my having children, who are so wanted, so loved and have wonderful, happy lives, is 'wrong on so many levels'.

Such a cruel post, and I'm really gutted I read it.

Please don't bother replying to me, as I won't be reading any more on this post.

I’m gonna be controversial and say that 47 is too old and too selfish for a baby. My mum had me at 40 and that was in the 90s so she was classed as an ancient mum back then. Everyone thought she was my nan and that my sister was my mum.

My mum then had age related issues whilst I was growing up and I really resented not having the youthful mum that would play and be full of life (I know illness can strike any age but yswim).

I love my mum to bits but I’m now mid 20s and she’s coming up to mid 60s. I feel a lot of pressure in regards to her getting older, and my dc don’t really have that energetic grandparent.

That’s just my personal experience however and due to this experience I chose to have my kids quite young.

I'm struggling and I'm 33.

Once your friend is uncomfortable, not sleeping, then has baby up all night. Then toddler not letting her sit down. Cold cups of tea. Arguments with partner.

Nah... You'll be happy it was just a fleeting thought.

I always felt that way until I had my third at 42 and now, blissfully, I don't want any more babies. So broodiness can be cured with babies. (I said to DH the other day after I missed a pill that I'm not trying to prevent a baby, but prevent an abortion. I am SO done).

I am pretty tired, though, and the Christmas-crazed 4-year-old crashing around at the same moment the 17 year old negotiates to have his girlfriend sleep over is relentless. I can barely tell you my name.

I'm 43 and cannot imagine having a baby now! My DD is 22 so my baby rearing days were a looooong time ago. I'm looking forward to the possibility of grandchildren in the future, but one of my own? Nopity nope nope nope.