I’m broody at age 47

[Blackcelebration12]

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first at the same age as my me (47) using donor eggs and it’s made me broody & longing for the baby/young kids phase again as mine are older.

It’s bonkers & selfish though right? I do feel too old but also feel like I’d like to do it all again. Maybe that broody feeling never leaves you does it?

In my rational moments, I really don’t want a teenager in my 60s as I don’t think it’s fair on the child. But then I see babies & get the longing.

Aibu to ask if any of you have felt like this? Talk me down- I know it’s perimenopause too & my ovaries giving it a last burst of broodiness.

@Frequentflier I think this thread has put a dose of realism into the mix to be honest 😂

Body and mind (and society) just aren't the same thing.

Your body, driven by its genes and hormones, might well want another baby. From your genes' pov, all your need to do is survive the next six or seven years, until your offspring is independent enough to survive without you.

Your mind might not agree and the way society is structured now, to continue to make demands upon parents for so many years, just hasn't fed back to your hormones.

I think maybe this year and the pandemic hasn’t helped- it’s made me completely reevaluate my life in many ways

have a think about whether a dog/cat would fit into your life

I am your age, didn't feel broody, but knew i wanted something else - we have a dog now and my life feels complete and it's the best thing that's happened to me since i had my kids!

It's worth speaking to (much) older women, it's not uncommon to occasionally feel these pangs in your 60s and even older. Having kids at 48+ years old would be a bad idea for most people, especially if they're already parents.

@rattusrattus20

It's worth speaking to (much) older women, it's not uncommon to occasionally feel these pangs in your 60s and even older. Having kids at 48+ years old would be a bad idea for most people, especially if they're already parents.

The trouble is that even having a baby in your 60s isn’t the absolute medical impossibility it used to be. If you have the money there are clinics abroad who will treat you and who have a plentiful supply of donor eggs from young women who needed the money.

@herecomesthsun

We are clearly not too old to have babies if we are falling pregnant in our 40s.

How mean must you be to come on here & insult people for their parenting decisions? Does it make you feel good about your own life?

Go take a long hard look in the mirror. And stop judging other people while you/re at it.

I agree @herecomesthsun this thread is full of utter arseholes. I don't have children and don't want them but cannot get over some of the judgemental comments.

The hypocritical comments about how 'selfish' older mothers. You can only make judgments if you have plenty of money to ensure your child has a good quality of life, you are a stay at home parent so that your child has your full attention, you don't have multiple children, again so that your child has your full attention, you can provide a guarantee that you will never divorce, as if you do, your child may be badly emotionally affected, your marriage is rock solid and you are having your child with a man who will be a good father, as again, having a crap dad can really fuck your life up.

Can't provide a guarantee of those things pre having kids? Don't judge

Omg I’m 47 and have custody of 2 of my grandchildren aged 18 months and 10 weeks. I’m exhausted!

I’m older, wiser and more patient now, but none of it makes up for the sheer tiredness.

@Frequentflier I guess by friend has bypassed the risks tho at 47 by using donor eggs

Yes, if you use donor eggs the risks are lower with regard to birth defects, because they will be from a younger woman. You will still be at higher risk with regard to the pregnancy itself due to being older than average, but those risks are generally manageable. Older mothers are monitored more regularly (in my experience).

I don't think YABU, but it's unlikely you'd be able to have another DC without using donor eggs.

I've got a 10-month-old DS at 40. I've got fertility problems (unconnected with age) and didn't manage to have my first DS until 36 - first child a miracle natural pregnancy, DS2 was by IVF.

I'd love a DS3, but I only got one usable embryo from seven, aged 39 (this is not unusual for a 39-year-old - fertility decreases with age), so, by the time I'm ready for a DS3, would probably need a couple of rounds of IVF to get enough usable embryos to implant. The risks of congenital disability, miscarriage and being pregnant also increase massively from 35 onwards - so, it's not just a case of deciding to have a kid (or not).

*Basically, I think I'm pushing it wanting to try for a DS3 at 41 because of the various risks (!). Certainly, I think you're unlikely to have a healthy full-term pregnancy at 47 without using donor eggs.

I can't believe the mean comments about being too old, selfish etc. Do what you want! (if you can). I had my one and only biological child at just short of 46. I didn't ask anyone's opinion or permission!

PS, I am not exhausted! I love having my darling son (and still work more than full-time as well, at 57). I manage just fine. Not all people in their fifties or sixties are decrepit!

A baby at 47? By the time the kid finished school 65? University 68? Jesus Christ no! Unless the dad is substantially younger and willing to take on the majority of the care.

What if money was no object? Nanny that lives in, housekeeper, cook, tutors, etc. Couldn’t it be done if you had enough money to buy in support?

It wouldn’t be for me but I definitely felt that way just as I entered perimenopause

I feel the same way about having a baby at 47 as I felt about having a baby at 16. Just because I technically can doesn’t mean I should.

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17. Yes they're gorgeous, but Covid has put paid to her four day a week nanny since March, they're two now and and she's struggling.
Not for me.

@cptartapp

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17. Yes they're gorgeous, but Covid has put paid to her four day a week nanny since March, they're two now and and she's struggling. Not for me.

Wow! Was that naturally conceived?

Her first set were IVF, don't know about the second? i do know she always wanted more and doesn't need to work.

I feel too old in my late 20’s!! Never again after this, although I did have my first at 18

@LifeAfterBreastCancer

Some really rude comments here.

OP I totally get it. I'm 45 and was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. It was utterly devastating as I'd hoped for another DC but had never managed a second pregnancy after our lovely DD who is now eleven. I assumed I was menopausal but had a period the other day and it got my mind whirring about it all again. I can't deny that it's a great sorrow to me and I feel very sad about missing out the big family that I had always dreamed of.

Please see your GP. A period after menopause needs to be checked out.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

‘In reality, as Dr Christiane Northrup talks about a lot regarding perimenopause, it’s not a time to birth another baby but to birth the next phase of your life’

It is that sort of statement that would immediately make me want to have a baby even if l was 60.

Life is about choice and accident. You can birth a baby whenever you want. Your baby may be the next phase of your life.

What a trite statement🤮

I couldn’t agree more

“Birth the next phrase of your life” is just a god awful expression

I've felt broody for years since getting over a traumatic birth and the first few months of having my only at nearly 41. I wanted so much to have another but it never happened. I truly regret not trying harder but it was so knackering being a new mum at 41 and I know realistically I couldn't do it again. Plus we couldn't afford another and have limited space. So.... we got a hamster and apart from the time he escaped and ripped up the carpet in 3 places, he's the light of our lives!!

@BooseysMom

I've felt broody for years since getting over a traumatic birth and the first few months of having my only at nearly 41. I wanted so much to have another but it never happened. I truly regret not trying harder but it was so knackering being a new mum at 41 and I know realistically I couldn't do it again. Plus we couldn't afford another and have limited space. So.... we got a hamster and apart from the time he escaped and ripped up the carpet in 3 places, he's the light of our lives!!

Hey there, I could have written your post except I was 36 but it took years to get over ptsd. We got a dog -best thing ever😁