Page 4 | I’m broody at age 47

Blackcelebration12 · 2020-12-15T14:10:40+00:00

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first at the same age as my me (47) using donor eggs and it’s made me broody & longing for the baby/young kids phase again as mine are older. It’s bonkers & selfish though right? I do feel too old but also feel like I’d like to do it all again. Maybe that broody feeling never leaves you does it? In my rational moments, I really don’t want a teenager in my 60s as I don’t think it’s fair on the child. But then I see babies & get the longing. Aibu to ask if any of you have felt like this? Talk me down- I know it’s perimenopause too & my ovaries giving it a last burst of broodiness.

naturalyoghurtmuncher · 15/12/2020 15:58

Can you get a puppy or a kitten ?

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 15:59

My father was in his 40s when I was born, my mother much younger.

My mum died unexpectedly when I was just out of my teens. My father a few years later.

I think it's exceptionally cruel to say someone shouldn't have children in their 40s (I was my fathers first and only child). Not have MORE children, yes that I agree. But if for whatever reason you are only starting a family in your 40s, if you are relatively fit and healthy then why not!

naturalyoghurtmuncher · 15/12/2020 15:59

@ivfbeenbusy

You have to remember that your friend is pregnant only by virtue of the fact she has used another woman's eggs who are probably 20 years younger than hers. She will have no genetic connection to the baby. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

That's a very good point

BlueSpruce · 15/12/2020 15:59

I can still get that irrational, broody, ‘I want a baby!’ feeling now, and I’m 43 with teenagers. I just recognise it for what it is - a mixture of hormones, nostalgia, sentimentality etc - and I let the feeling pass.

I definitely do NOT ever want to deal with toddler tantrums again, do the school run again, have to pay for childcare again, sacrifice any more of my career progression or freedom again. And I do NOT want to still be dealing with teens at 60. I hold on to those rational thoughts when my old ovaries start telling me sentimental shite! 😆

MrDarcyismines · 15/12/2020 16:00

I'm 30 & im constantly broody but I think that will always be how it is, so I'm quitting while I'm ahead. When I'm 47, I'll have a 20&21 yr old. I can't imagine starting again so late. However, it sounds like you had your child late so (I was going to say wait for Grandchildren) So I can understand why you'd want another.

dairyswim · 15/12/2020 16:02

a baby at 47 ?? sorry, but i feel sorry for the child on so many levels. it comes across as terribly selfish for a child to be out with a parent who will be mistaken for their grandparent and let's be honest what happens at school ? some kids will have a field day with that.

This type of comment always pops up on these threads, generally by people that had their children in their 20s and can't fathom that other people's lives didn't work out the same way.

One could say that having 6 children is incredibly selfish as the parents couldn't possibly have the time to spend one one one with each of them, not to mention the finances that would be required to educate each of them, but some people do it.

herecomesthsun · 15/12/2020 16:07

Given that there are quite a few older parents on here, I am wondering if you lot would be so mean and judgemental if you met someone in real life who had their children in their 40s?

No one is a perfect parent, and it is difficult to plan life to be exactly as we want it.

It's really important with kids is to give them plenty of love, and encouragement, and opportunities to try new things.

I don't think having kids is selfish, even if you are a bit older when you get round to it.

There are also ways to support and care for children without actually being their biological parent.

MarshaBradyo · 15/12/2020 16:08

I’m not really fussed by people who judge mothers who had babies in early 40s.

Many do it and it’s all good.

MarshaBradyo · 15/12/2020 16:08

I mean not that I want them to have those views but can easily disregard it.

glittereyelash · 15/12/2020 16:09

I'm 34 with a two year old and am absolutely knackered. Love him to bits but no chance I'm having anymore!

2bazookas · 15/12/2020 16:11

I still feel broody every time I see a newborn/ tiny baby. Even my grandchildren are past that stage so now I have to spy in passing prams to get a fix.

Lucky lucky you to have a friend who's having a late baby for you to hold, play with, enjoy.... and hand back.

Userzzz · 15/12/2020 16:15

You are too old to bave a baby and it is a selfish decision.

Sunshineandflipflops · 15/12/2020 16:16

@BlueSpruce

I can still get that irrational, broody, ‘I want a baby!’ feeling now, and I’m 43 with teenagers. I just recognise it for what it is - a mixture of hormones, nostalgia, sentimentality etc - and I let the feeling pass.

I definitely do NOT ever want to deal with toddler tantrums again, do the school run again, have to pay for childcare again, sacrifice any more of my career progression or freedom again. And I do NOT want to still be dealing with teens at 60. I hold on to those rational thoughts when my old ovaries start telling me sentimental shite! 😆

This, except I am 42.

I had my kids early compared to all of my friends (I was 27 and 29). They are now early teens and getting more and more independent, whereas my friends are in their 40's and still doing the schools runs and everything that goes with it. But they know no different so its swings and roundabouts.

I became a single parent (not by choice) 3 years ago and if it had to happen, I was glad my kids were that bit older.

NewYearNewPlumbing · 15/12/2020 16:22

@Userzzz

You are too old to bave a baby and it is a selfish decision.

If she gets pregnant she clearly is not too old.

Why shouldn't women have babies until the end of their natural childbearing ages?

Why on earth is it selfish? If a woman is financially stable, able to provide properly for a child, fit and healthy and ready to be a keen, experienced, committed loving parent, how on earth is that selfish?

OH....the child might be subject to mean comments from kids brought up by judgemental mothers, could that be it?

SirVixofVixHall · 15/12/2020 16:27

@warmandtoasty2day

a baby at 47 ?? sorry, but i feel sorry for the child on so many levels. it comes across as terribly selfish for a child to be out with a parent who will be mistaken for their grandparent and let's be honest what happens at school ? some kids will have a field day with that.

Well I had my last baby at 43, she is now a teenager and so far nobody has mistaken me for her Grandparent ! Yes a baby in your forties is tiring. I had two in my forties and of course it would have been better and easier a decade earlier, but looking at my family tree many of my ancestors had babies into their mid forties. I always had 46 as my cut off age as that was the oldest person I knew of having a baby naturally, at 47 it is unlikely but not impossible, and pre contraception you would not have been called selfish for having your last in your mid forties, because it was so common. My great grandfather was a last baby and he was over twenty years younger than his eldest sister who was married before he was born. Ditto my friend who was born when her mother was almost 47.

passthemustard · 15/12/2020 16:29

@needabus 😂 I'm one down on you but I am having number 5 at the weekend (being induced) and I have DC 8 12 15 and 19
It doesn't feel like a lot of children tbh. If I'd had them closer together I could be on number 10 by now 😂😂 I think at 43 this one is my last

Original poster

Blackcelebration12 · 15/12/2020 16:30

The age comments by kids aren’t unwarranted though- my DD gets comments because her Dad is 55- kids ask how old he is etc. Kids can be mean & DD does get upset about it

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OrigamiPenguinArmy · 15/12/2020 16:31

I’m a year older than you and the very thought of having a baby brings me out in a cold sweat. I didn’t enjoy the baby and toddler years much and absolutely wouldn’t want to repeat them. However I do miss having a child, my one and only is nearly 13, and as kids of that age go is lovely, but she’s not really a child anymore. I miss planning fun things to do, the days out and the toys and picture books. If it was somehow possible to simply fast forward to about five years old I might be tempted...

justanotherneighinparadise · 15/12/2020 16:32

God no. I was very broody but no longer. I’m sucking of wiping other people’s arses and being moaned at for food and drink.

Sexnotgender · 15/12/2020 16:32

It would be very selfish to have a child at your age. I understand the desire but you need to be sensible.

justanotherneighinparadise · 15/12/2020 16:32

*sick

justanotherneighinparadise · 15/12/2020 16:34

@Sexnotgender

It would be very selfish to have a child at your age. I understand the desire but you need to be sensible.

That’s not a particularly nice thing to say now is it. OPs friend is no doubt delighted to be pregnant and I’m sure it’s jot a selfish act at all. No one knows how long they’ve got on this earth. The mother may live to be in great health until her nineties.

ShrikeAttack · 15/12/2020 16:35

I've never been broody, not once, ever! What does it actually feel like?

I'm 48 and have two DC in their early teens, the thought of a baby now absolutely horrifies me. I love my DC and I'd always planned to have DC, but it was never a 'longing'.

I'm completely disinterested in the idea of 'cuddles with a new-born'.

I'm very warm and loving to my children though, I enjoy their company and am very happy they exist.

I've just never felt a need for a child.

ShrikeAttack · 15/12/2020 16:37

I don't think it's selfish to have a baby in your late-40s though. Bonkers, but not selfish.

Original poster

Blackcelebration12 · 15/12/2020 16:39

@ShrikeAttack I guess it’s like an emotional longing- well it is for me anyway. Weirdly it’s a recent thing for me and I wasn’t broody when I actually had my kids.

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