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AIBU?

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Original poster

To date when pregnant?

562 replies

frabbit · 14/12/2020 19:36

I’m 15 weeks pregnant, single. Father of baby wants to be involved with baby but that’s as far as things go. We don’t see each other outside of scans and appointments, and we barely talk at the moment.

Would it be gross to consider dating? Not looking for financial support or a baby daddy, genuinely just missing the support and companionship, maybe even the attention, of a dating partner. Obviously would be taking things slow. I’ve been chatting to someone and he’s asked me out on a date. If I do go, do I tell him beforehand that I’m pregnant? Or wait to see how the date goes?

What’s the general consensus?

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 22:55

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youvegottenminuteslynn · 14/12/2020 22:55

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TeachesOfPeaches · 14/12/2020 22:55

Heidi Klum met Seal when she was pregnant with another man's child so it isn't unheard of.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 22:56

@youvegottenminuteslynn the irony of someone like that talking about folk running a mile. Bet they're queuing up for them Grin

userxx · 14/12/2020 22:57

Is it wrong that my first thought is what Tier you're in..?

Yes it is. Very wrong

youvegottenminuteslynn · 14/12/2020 22:57

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@youvegottenminuteslynn the irony of someone like that talking about folk running a mile. Bet they're queuing up for them Grin[/quote]
Right? Embarrassing!

LazyLucille · 14/12/2020 22:59

Why are people saying he might be predatory and targeting pregnant women, when he asked the OP out before knowing she was pregnant?

I don't see anything wrong with it OP, dating is fun and you might as well make the most of it whilst you still can. You have been open and honest, enjoy your freedom before it becomes nappies and night feeds and stitches and leaky breasts!

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:00

@LazyLucille

Why are people saying he might be predatory and targeting pregnant women, when he asked the OP out before knowing she was pregnant?

I don't see anything wrong with it OP, dating is fun and you might as well make the most of it whilst you still can. You have been open and honest, enjoy your freedom before it becomes nappies and night feeds and stitches and leaky breasts!

MN.. always a place to hunt out opportunities to vilify men and if there isn't one , make it up!
Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:01

It's interesting that not one of the PP targeting OP have mentioned the baby's dad who OP has said is not responding or engaging with her at all despite her carrying his child.

But let's get the pitch forks our for OP for daring to think about having a different man in her life.

LuckyNumberThirteen · 14/12/2020 23:01

My auntie met and moved in with a man while pregnant.

OP, do what makes you happy. I can remember watching this on Sex and the City and it felt a little weird, but why should it?

Good luck with your pregnancy.

happystone · 14/12/2020 23:03

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Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:04

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Sandals19 · 14/12/2020 23:08

*It's interesting that not one of the PP targeting OP have mentioned the baby's dad who OP has said is not responding or engaging with her at all despite her carrying his child.

But let's get the pitch forks our for OP for daring to think about having a different man in her life.*

The fact that op has been "single" for four years but is pregnant unplanned by a guy who is not interested or supportive is ... a good reason for op to take some time out and not think about having a man in her life.

Sandals19 · 14/12/2020 23:10

Oh and the poster who painted out that STDs from new partners, even if using condoms, are a risk to unborn children; made a good point too.

Sandals19 · 14/12/2020 23:10

*pointed out

happystone · 14/12/2020 23:10

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happystone · 14/12/2020 23:12

I really hope my brother finds a pregrent girlfiend

youvegottenminuteslynn · 14/12/2020 23:13

@happystone

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post
It's a misogynist word dripping in disdain for women, that is never used about men who behave in the same way. If you're a woman you could do with learning how harmful words like that are to wider society. Including your kids when they grow up, who will be affected by the presence of misogyny and sexism whether they are female or male.
Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:13

@Sandals19

*It's interesting that not one of the PP targeting OP have mentioned the baby's dad who OP has said is not responding or engaging with her at all despite her carrying his child.

But let's get the pitch forks our for OP for daring to think about having a different man in her life.*

The fact that op has been "single" for four years but is pregnant unplanned by a guy who is not interested or supportive is ... a good reason for op to take some time out and not think about having a man in her life.

I must have missed the four years but...

Let's assume that her relationship ended four ago. In the last 15 weeks she has become pregnant by someone and very bravely admits it wasn't planned.

Which part of any of that is unusual? Two men in four years, Yep you're right never let her out again.

SandyY2K · 14/12/2020 23:13

I reckon a lot of men will day they're okay with it when you let them know but they won't show up or hang about.

They wouldn't decline the date out of politeness...but the vast majority won't see it as more than a very short term thing for obvious reasons.

A woman expecting a child and a man expecting a child are really not comparable.... I hope that doesn't require further explanation of why a man dating wouldn't be viewed in the same way.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:14

@happystone

She asked for view my was given.Mm talkis about cocklodgers misogynists
If you want me to take you seriously while you're abusing OP you need to write in coherent English.
Sandals19 · 14/12/2020 23:15

Op seems to be looking for emotional support, caring and kindness (as well.as company etc) from a man, and perhaps she'll strike it lucky and meet a man who provides those things up to, through a d after the birth of her child .. but the likelihood that she will not, and instead there will be more stress, upset, disappointment, possible conflict, instability etc during this time (especially when baby arrives with all the shit show
things that most babies bring) when she least needs it .. is reasonably high.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 23:15

@Sandals19

Op seems to be looking for emotional support, caring and kindness (as well.as company etc) from a man, and perhaps she'll strike it lucky and meet a man who provides those things up to, through a d after the birth of her child .. but the likelihood that she will not, and instead there will be more stress, upset, disappointment, possible conflict, instability etc during this time (especially when baby arrives with all the shit show things that most babies bring) when she least needs it .. is reasonably high.
I agree with you, unfortunately.

But I don't agree with PPs who have just made up that she just wants sex.

userxx · 14/12/2020 23:15

Nothing wrong with the word slapper

It's like stepping back into 1990.

pisspants · 14/12/2020 23:16

OP you and your baby are so vulnerable now. I would work on building up your other support networks or trying to meet other single parents to be. Dating as a single parent is really hard let alone when you have a baby. I'd honestly forget about it for now if I were you.