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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet hates DH!

252 replies

BesottedTurnip · 14/12/2020 15:21

My DH is an absolute delight! He is kind and thoughtful, does his fair share of the household, thinks up lovely surprises for me, no one's perfect but he's pretty good! I have zero major concerns about our marriage but from time to time ask on here about minor disagreements / discussions we're had to garner wider opinion.

Every time I post about him on mumsnet though, he seems to come across to others as horrible. At best pathetic, and at worse manipulative and abusive. Someone even flowered me the other day!

Is this just me? Has anyone else posted about their lovely husbands and had lots of replies suggesting ltb?!

OP posts:
Givemeabreak88 · 14/12/2020 15:24

I think people on mn are just over critical, I bet they wouldn’t leave their own partners for such minor things that I’ve seen on here

Sparklingbrook · 14/12/2020 15:24

Noooo, I wouldn't post about minor disagreements with my DH on here though. That would be madness.
You say 'every time, how often do you post about him?

MyMonsteraisDeliciosa · 14/12/2020 15:24

Pretty hard to comment without knowing what the other threads are about to be honest. There can be overreaction on here but there can also be OPs who can't see the blindingly obvious.

So dunno if YABU but you seem to like him so what does it matter what everyone thinks?

WitchFindersAreEverywhere · 14/12/2020 15:25

You could stop asking random strangers for advice on minor squabbles?

summerstorms · 14/12/2020 15:25

A lot of women have relationships with absolute arseholes and just can't see it. In general society the bar for someone being a "good man" is shockingly low

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2020 15:25

Eh, why are you posting about him and what are you posting.,people can only respond to what you write. You clearly must be portraying him as horrible, manipulative pathetic etc.

My marriage is fine, my husband fine, I have no concerns. So I don’t feel the need to start threads inviting opinion on him

Confused
Sparklingbrook · 14/12/2020 15:26

Can't find any of your other threads to see what you mean.

myhobbyisouting · 14/12/2020 15:26

I've never felt the need to ask for other opinions on arguments in my relationship. If I did then I'd think there was more to it

Annasgirl · 14/12/2020 15:26

Could you perhaps give us an idea of one of your other posts? I mean, if he is so wonderful, what on earth are you doing posting about him on here? (that is a serious, non-goady question).

Beamur · 14/12/2020 15:27

Maybe you are getting more objective comments from strangers? Perhaps he's not actually as great as you think he is...
Relationships are rarely perfect though.

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2020 15:27

Did you name change for this so folks couldn’t see what you’ve been writing about him?

[hmm ]

titchy · 14/12/2020 15:27

Why have you name changed to post this?

Aerial2020 · 14/12/2020 15:28

Good for you

Why on earth are you posting then if it's minor?

MrsMiaWallis · 14/12/2020 15:28

Mumsnet posters often write a complete load of old shit tbh. Half of it is complete fantasy.

HotSince63 · 14/12/2020 15:29

Every time I post about him on mumsnet though

My DH is a delight and I've never felt the need to post about him on Mumsnet. Maybe yours is not actually as great as you think he is if you're posting on here all the time about him.

Nore · 14/12/2020 15:29

Yeah, and you've namechanged, so no one can point out that objectively he sounds pretty terrible. Remember that the only thing anyone on here knows about him is what you've told them, so maybe ask yourself whether you're completely deluded or have worryingly low standards.

FlibbertyGiblets · 14/12/2020 15:30

That's nice, dear.

JamieLeeCurtains · 14/12/2020 15:30

Don't post, then.

Original poster
BesottedTurnip · 14/12/2020 15:30

@Bluntness100 Yep!

I haven't posted that much about him, and sometimes it's just a passing comment that people seem to get really hung up on.

I wouldn't say our relationship is perfect but I think it falls within the norms based on what I know of my friends relationships with their DHs.

OP posts:
PrincessNutNutRoast · 14/12/2020 15:30

Well, what did you say about him?

Heartlantern2 · 14/12/2020 15:31

Well if someone was posting on here about their DH you would assume it’s a major concern for the poster and not something minor, as I wouldn’t see why you would post about a minor incident.

JazzyGeoff · 14/12/2020 15:31

Well if he isn't a dick, stop making him sound like one on the internet.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/12/2020 15:32

What threads? Post a couple of links.

My DH is great. I wouldn't post about him on here.

peboh · 14/12/2020 15:33

No I haven't, but then I've never really posted about him. Only in passing on other threads. It's the same way as I wouldn't speak about him to other people in real life, other than the big standard. People tend to have a bias towards the person talking, and I'm not a fan of somebody judging based on a snippet of our lives.

MrsMiaWallis · 14/12/2020 15:34

I posted on here about whether I should bring dd home from uni for the weekend, bearing in mind she was in a high Covid area and dd2 has severe asthma.

I had a lot of very helpful replies but some saying "you sound like an awful mother. Make the most of your relationship now because she won't ever talk to you again if she finds out you've chosen ger sister over her!"

I mean, so much weird projectiony rage.

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