Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Christmas dilemma

360 replies

catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 18:49

Due to COVID DH's self employed work dried up. So he got a job working from home doing customer service for a large telecomms company. Minimum wage and we've lost a lot of income but he's grateful to have a job and be WFH so it's all good. It's not a great company to work for and its a bit sweat shop call centre but its fine .

Until he got his rota for Christmas week. He is working 10am - 7pm Christmas Eve and then 8am to 5pm Christmas day. He has Boxing Day off. We appreciate lots of people have to work Christmas day and there is no option to book this off or swap it.

We have a DS who has just turned 9 and still believes. He is so excited for Christmas and has, like most children, had so much cancelled or postponed this year and has been a trouper.

So...I've decided that rather than try and do Christmas with DH plugged into a computer and taking calls every 5 minutes we will just move the whole thing forward a day. So on Christmas day we will do Christmas Eve stuff - film, hot chocolate, mince pie for Santa etc and then Boxing Day will be Christmas day. Seems sensible as he finishes work at 5pm on Christmas day and is off Boxing day so we can have a "normal" Christmas albeit a day late. We were always planning to be just the three of us due to COVID.

My dilemma is do I tell DS? I think knowing its Christmas but nothing is happening will be horrible for him.

My plan is to not tell him. I honestly think I can pull this off as once he's finished school he won't know what day it is. He doesn't have a watch, I can change the date on devices and its not like he reads the paper. He doesn't really watch TV and I can keep any TV to films and stuff so no "Christmas specials" or merry Christmas messages popping up and if anything comes up on his ipad I'll just tell him it's already Christmas in some countries due to different time zones.

We are not going anywhere so it's just the three of us. Grandparents etc can zoom on "Christmas day" and be in on it. I can buy a "dupe" advent calendar and pretend he forgot a day.

I think I can pull it off but DH thinks I can't and should tell him. I don't like lying to him but we are lying to him about flying reindeer and elves and a big man coming down the chimney with presents so I feel like not telling him the date - which doesn't actually matter really - is not that much of a big deal. Whereas I think knowing its actually Christmas Eve but Santa isn't coming till the following night for some reason will be hard for him.

AIBU - can I pull this off and should I? I know it will be the last year he believes so I want to keep Christmas "intact" and not postponed like every bloody other things has been this year.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 13/12/2020 18:52

Do it but expect him to find out. You could try to pretend you’ve just made a silly mistake I guess.

But definitely plan your time that way it will be much nicer.

birdseedpie · 13/12/2020 18:54

He will find out one way or the other and then how will you explain that Father Xmas came a day late?

Awrite · 13/12/2020 18:55

No harm in trying.

Concestor · 13/12/2020 18:55

It will be all over the TV what day it is. Why but just be honest?

rottiemum88 · 13/12/2020 18:56

Does he not have an advent calendar?

AaronPurr · 13/12/2020 18:57

I think you should tell him. At 9 I doubt the day will go by without him finding out. Online, TV, radio, family, friends, neighbours etc, surely something / someone will let slip.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 18:57

He won't be watching any TV so I'm not worried about that.

If he does find out my plan is to explain why we moved it and that Father Christmas does another run for people like Doctors and Nurses and Firemen who have to work Christmas day so we wrote to him, explained his daddy had to work Christmas day too this year and got him put on that list.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/12/2020 18:58

Why do you need to deceive him? Just tell him the truth: that Dad has to be at work on the 'normal' day, but that doesn't matter because you're having your own special family Christmas on a day when you can all properly enjoy the day? Christmas is a special time for family, so why would you as a family choose to celebrate it when it can't be special for you, just because that's what most other families find works for them?

You could always mention that parents go to work because they have to earn money to pay for the family's bills - but also to be able to buy presents with some of the extra money.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 18:58

He won't hear the radio or see any friends or neighbours. We will be bubbled in our house and family will be in on it to ring and wish him happy Christmas on the "right" day.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/12/2020 18:58

Seems ridiculous to me OP, having to police the tv and radio, even from Xmas eve so he doesn’t hear it’s Xmas eve. Just explain to your child that you will celebrate a day later, he’s old enough to understand, but Father Christmas still comes on the correct day, have two lots of celebrations

sophiestew · 13/12/2020 18:58

Could you try to say that you will be celebrating a day later because of daddys job, like all the other parents who have to work on Christmas Day, like Doctors and Police Officers and Firefighters? Then he might think Santa has to do this for lots of families so it's OK?

MadeForThis · 13/12/2020 18:59

Does he have a phone or tablet that will display the date?

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 18:59

I'm going to get another advent calendar the same and tell him he must have missed a day.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 13/12/2020 19:00

I think you could pull it off if he's not seeing other children that week. Or tell him that Santa offers an option to drop off the presents as he's flying over yours on his return from Australia to the North Pole and you thought you'd sign up this year so his dad isn't left out.
To be honest, if he still believes at nine - he'll believe anything!

Pipandmum · 13/12/2020 19:00

I'm amazed a nine year old still believes. Also that he will not know what day Christmas is! I'd believe you could possibly/maybe pull it off if your child was foufvor five, but nine? Give the kid some credit and explain why you are celebrating a day late.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 19:00

He doesn't watch TV or listen to the radio normally. I can change the date on his ipad and use the different countries excuse if anything comes up.

But it looks like the consensus is that I should tell him.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/12/2020 19:00

I'm going to get another advent calendar the same and tell him he must have missed a day this is getting seriously complex OP

elQuintoConyo · 13/12/2020 19:01

Just tell him, he's not a baby. He'll still get to do the gifts, the food, the celebrating. I doubt he'll even remember it next year.

Don't lie to him, that's a bit shit.

Whymustyoubringinthebirds · 13/12/2020 19:01

At 9 I'd just explain the situation and move on rather than have an elaborate plan to deceive

AaronPurr · 13/12/2020 19:01

@catgirl1976

He won't hear the radio or see any friends or neighbours. We will be bubbled in our house and family will be in on it to ring and wish him happy Christmas on the "right" day.
This seems so unlikely. What's he going to spend the day doing? No internet, TV, media, chatting to friends / family or going out anywhere. It seems ridiculous to lie to this extent to a 9 year old. Confused
Wearywithteens · 13/12/2020 19:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/12/2020 19:02

I'm not sure he 100% believes - I think he's at that stage where he's pretending too because he knows we want him to believe. But I am pretty sure by next year any lingering doubt will have gone and he'll be fully aware there's no Father Christmas.

OP posts:
Porcupineinwaiting · 13/12/2020 19:02

At 5 I might try this, at 9 I think he's old enough to understand that dad is working this year. I really doubt having a slightly different Christmas will ruin it for him.

garlictwist · 13/12/2020 19:03

He is 9. Surely he will know? It will be on tv or he will talk to his friends or he will know what the date is.

Brighterthansunflowers · 13/12/2020 19:03

YABU

He’s 9, surely he’s old enough to understand dad has to work so you’re celebrating Christmas on Boxing Day

If you’re sensible and Santa only brings the stocking, you could do that as normal on Christmas Day morning then do everything else on Boxing Day. If you pretend all gifts are from Santa then they could arrive but only open one or two on Christmas morning and save the others for Boxing Day