To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

[JenXG]

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

I'm finding the voting a bit confusing. Given I think Edinburgh is better, let's say YABU=Commute towns are better; YANBU=Edinburgh better.

Not sure about the schooling to be honest but I’d say unless you are moving for better weather, I’d stick where you are. Edinburgh is an amazing city and you have everything on your doorstep which is not the same down south no matter where you move. I know people who have moved from Edinburgh and don’t regret it but only because of the better weather. I know they miss everything else that the city has to offer.

You would be absolutely mad to leave Edinburgh, a world class city and one of the cultural capitals of the world, for a shitty, over populated commuter town in the SE imo.

Plenty of Scottish children with Scottish qualifications study abroad - universities are well equipped to understand different qualification systems. And while you might find a commuter town with a better school than any of Edinburgh’s schools (bearing in mind Edinburgh has some spectacular state schools) you would have to think very carefully about whether that very small distinction was worth giving up life in a city which is so much better in virtually all other ways.

Would you consider boarding schools for when DS is older? That way you could stay around Edinbough for prep and look for a boarding schools if non of the local schools meet your needs.

Fun fact, the very posh people I met at uni who came from Edinburgh/Scotland where far nicer and down to earth than the very posh people I met from London commuter towns 😂 obviously a very small sample size.

Consider brexit too and the possibility that Scotland may well become independent during your DCs lifetime

You probably also need to think of which side of the border you'd like to be if Scotland goes independent.

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a four MONTH old!
What Fettes and the like not good enough for this as yet undiscovered child genius?
Your husband’s an idiot.

Stay in Edinburgh

I may be biased because we currently live in zone 5, so basically a London commute, but I'd stick with Edinburgh. Schooling in Guildford seems quite fraught, from what I've read on here, and acquaintances who live there. Edinburgh has as far as I am aware some good state schools, and some good private schools. I think with both, you need to think carefully about where you live in relation to those schools.

Overall quality of life would be so much nicer in Edinburgh. It is such a wonderful city and basically has everything. Guildford I only know from occasional visits to Bravissimo, but though it is nice enough, it isn't a patch on Edinburgh.

The weather would be better "down south" mind you, and no smell from the brewery.

We think we will move back to Edinburgh when the DC have all left home.

I lived in Guildford for a few years until dc1 was born. The schools are good, especially if you can afford private. But (and I know this sounds awful of me) having seen the children from these school around the town I thought that there is no way in hell I want my child turning out like any of them. I don’t know what it is about Surrey public school kids but the level of entitlement, the volume they speak at, the absolute and utter self containment is just everything I didn’t want my child to be.

But there is lots to do in Guildford - obviously not as many shows but there’s both the Yvonne Arnould and the G Live as well as the enormous leisure centre. You don’t have to go to London for everything.

Remember - Scottish unis are free for Scots.I wish I'd been able to have that and not be in £65k of debt.

Big

There's no right answer here, both options are fine and would be eminently workable for you.

So things like Brexit changes to your sector and attitude of both DH and you towards possible independence will matter.

You can't be sure which state school you would be allocated in England, unless you move more or less on top of the one you like best. Just being within catchment is not enough, you also have to be close to the school as distance is the typical tiebreaker when numbers of in-catchment DC exceed the number of places (if Guildford has catchments at all), many places in England are on a distance only basis, and a few are lottery)

You could secure the schooling you want by saving like crazy until your DC is a teen and then moving (at normal 13+ entry) to one of the several private schools which offer GCSE and A level

I haven't been to Edinburgh.... but I live near Guildford.

So, positives, great schools, nice town centre, Yvonne Arnaud often has pre-West End plays, GLive for Entertainment, Spectrum Pools and Ice Rink, Surrey Sports Park, Surrey University, Catherdral. River Wey. Lots of very nice independent restaurants and pubs both in and around Gford. Lots of Golf courses. Lots of historical sites within spitting distance. Surrey Hills and North Downs for walking out and about. Fantastic weather, often hottest/driest in country. Excellent road and rail links to London, Heathrow, Gatwick and the coast, 1/2 hour to an hour in all directions, and by all means. Easy drive to France and beyond.

Negatives, really, really busy, expensive housing. Traffic is terrible. Railways are packed. Everywhere is busy, all the time.

So, I quite like it..... have looked to move elsewhere, but could never really let go of the fact the Gford is so central for everything, everywhere else seemed remote by comparison.

I agree to stay in Edinburgh. Do you have access to any IB schools at all? That would be internationally recognised - although as unis are free in Scotland you'd hope DC would stay there anyway! I went to St Andrews for a world class uni and didn't have to pay a penny for tuition :)

I used to live in a very naice commuter town that often gets recommended on here for people escaping London. There were two outstanding primary schools and one outstanding secondary. All of which had tiny catchment areas, so you were just as likely that kids would end up in one of the many bog standard schools. Which were fine, just looked down on by certain people. There was a nice town centre, but not an awful lot to do like cinemas, swimming etc. You'd have to get an expensive train ticket to London for museums etc. There were good, if expensive, activities for kids.

Can you look into your child doing an international bacculerate or whatever it's called when they are older? My friends who went to international unis did them, and they seem quite prestigious and recognised everywhere.

London commute towns are as bland and tepid as they sound.

I imagine Edinburgh’s a cool place to grow up.

Identity and surroundings have as much impact, if not more, on kid’s development.

Schools can’t be that bad in Edinburgh can they ?????

I don't think you can compare living in a city with living in a commuter town, no matter how nice it is. And if you like living in a city, then moving to London and trying to live in a commuter town is crazy. YOu'd be commuting into London every day (or whatever you are required to do) for work which is a lengthy, painful and expensive experience in many cases so on the weekends your desire to schlepp back into london is likely to be low.

We live in a commuter town and we are very happy, sure. And the schools ARE excellent. But I do often wish we were a bit closer to London because quite honestly, if DH and I get a night out, I don't want to have a 45 + minutes train and tube trip if I want to go to a high end restaurant. We have loads of perfectly nice locals, it's true, but the variety and quality is not the same as in a big city and I miss that. This is just one example. It's great for the kids and they have plenty of activities, as well as the option of the odd trip into London, but in the perfect world, I'd want more.

You have a free uni system!

I don't think the move would make you happy, I'm sure you can make a good life in either place, but moving for these schools, esp with a tiny baby who you don't even know what their needs are (e.g. they might be dyslexic, SN and/r extremely talented academically) is silly.

Perhaps he just wants to be closer to London for his own work reasons and is looking around for reasons to justify this.

ok, you lost me at schools high enough for the standard of a 4 month old but i would find it very hard to leave Edinburgh.

Edinburgh has two World Heritage sites, for a start. Does Guildford have any at all?

What on earth is your DH's "standard" for good schools? There are plenty of good schools in Edinburgh! Also your DS won't be leaving school for another 17 years at least...

I'm a Scot who lives in London, and given the choice between a commuter town near London or Edinburgh I would choose Edinburgh every time. If the right job came up there, DH and I would be having serious conversations about moving.

@emmathedilemma

ok, you lost me at schools high enough for the standard of a 4 month old but i would find it very hard to leave Edinburgh.

This is actually a good point. If he's that worried about schools, wouldn't private schooling in Edinburgh be the best option?

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a four MONTH old!

This

Oh wow thanks for the comments. Seems Edinburgh is the definite answer here.

Just to clarify the school bit...we are mainly looking at private schools. In Edinburgh we have Fetties, George Heriot and a handful of others. DH doesn't like the fact that very few some years nil students get into Oxbridge from these schools while schools like Royal Grammar School sends c20% to oxbridge each year (yes..I know. Having eyes on oxbridge with DS only being 4mo sounds crazy. But i'm not blaming him for having high hope as both families run a history of being very academic. I'd put that one aside for the sake of this particular post. He's not a pushy parent from what i see by far...).

I didn't appreciate how convenient Edinburgh was before reading some of the comments so thanks mumsnet'ers. I'll show this post to DH now!