To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

[JenXG]

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

Surely fee-paying schools like Fettes are on a par with any others? Or do IB if that’s an issue.

There are WORLD CLASS UNIVERSITIES on your doorstep - tell your DH to stop thinking about fucking Oxbridge.

I wouldn't leave Edinburgh for a bland commuter town. It's a wonderful city with so much going on.
I do think you should look at areas in London a bit more closely. There are lot of secondary schools in London which achieve excellent results and not just the grammar/selective schools which some areas have (not a system I agree with personally).
I live in an inner London borough and honestly the traffic around here isn't as bad as some commuter towns as most people don't have cars.

My daughter is moving back to Edinburgh next month. Detests London after 7 years there. You can be in the country in no time here.

I would think Fettes would be suitable enough for your 4 month old child genius

Unless the financial benefit in moving was very substantial, and I mean life changing, I would not be leaving Edinburgh. Culture, nightlife, history, beach, shopping, excellent RG university (without tuition fee) - you very rarely get all of this so close together.

He's not a pushy parent from what i see by far...).

Yet he’s almost insisting that his FOUR MONTH OLD attends an Oxbridge university?
😂😂😂

I have friends who live in Guildford, the husband tried for years to persuade his Irish wife to move to Edinburgh from London but she had a few fixed ideas about Scotland and is very ambitious for their children and rather narrow ideas about what success looks like.
Guildford is very attractive, but busy and v expensive property wise. The husband does not enjoy the busy commute.
Scottish qualifications are no bar to University entrance anywhere, Highers on their own may limit access to some English Universities but Advanced Highers (worth more than A-levels in UCAS points)would be available in good Edinburgh Schools. Any overseas Uni that encourages international applicants would know about SQA qualifications, I've looked into this as DS2 had v good results and I got a bit carried away researching courses. The main reasons Scottish kids don't study out of Scotland is money and the fact that many like to go where schoolfriends are going too or prefer the four year degree, its just the norm to stay close to home, no reflection on qualifications.

@Wbeezer and the fact that our university degrees are free.

This seems to be all about what your husband wants.

What do you want?

Edinburgh is a world-class, beautiful city. I wouldn't swap that for some SE dormitory town. If I had to move from Edinburgh it would be have to be to London 'proper' - Zones 1-3 (maybe 4) and enjoy everything the capital has to offer.

I wouldn't leave Edinburgh.
JK Rowling chooses to live here, and send her children to a school in Edinbugh ( my friend's sister teaches one of the children)
Presumably JK could live anywhere, and choose any education for her children- but prefers Edinburgh schooling.

Edinburgh is a magnificent city.

What if the child has other ideas about further education? The kid's 4 months old. Is this a wind up?

I assume the Scottish schools are less focussed Oxbridge because of interest rather than ability. Especially given fee difference (none vs 9k/year is quite a difference) as I get the impression that people able to afford school fees do so for the perceived benefits rather than just because they can!

Unless crossrail has made a massive difference I'm not sure how convenient Guildford is for Canary Wharf and from my commuter days a short commute involving changes is more annoying than a slightly longer one that is just one means of transport followed by a short walk.

The absolute top day schools are probably the central London ones (Westminster, St Paul's) and if boarding is likely to be a thing your home location is less crucial.

I'd stick with Edinburgh if you don't want to be in London itself - commuter belt is crap for family life because of commuting.

“DH doesn't like the fact that very few some years nil students get into Oxbridge from these schools”

Because they can go to St. Andrews or Edinburgh for free...

I wouldn't want to be the child whose family uprooted 400 miles for a lifestyle their mother clearly feels is inferior only for the sake of an education their father is going to pin everything on.

If your earning power is roughly the same in London and Edninburgh, then by the time you factor in the increased cost of living, including huge commuting costs from any commuter town, you'll be able to buy private schooling with the difference.

I'm sorry OP but this is madness.
You have no idea what your DC will want to do when they reach university age.
Scottish students do go to Oxbridge (if they want to), they just don't apply in large numbers because they can go to St Andrews, Glasgow or Edinburgh for free.

When did they become commute towns? Commuter towns, surely.

Your husband can’t really know what your son will be like educationally at this stage. I’d stay where you are.

@JenXG

Oh wow thanks for the comments. Seems Edinburgh is the definite answer here.

Just to clarify the school bit...we are mainly looking at private schools. In Edinburgh we have Fetties, George Heriot and a handful of others. DH doesn't like the fact that very few some years nil students get into Oxbridge from these schools while schools like Royal Grammar School sends c20% to oxbridge each year (yes..I know. Having eyes on oxbridge with DS only being 4mo sounds crazy. But i'm not blaming him for having high hope as both families run a history of being very academic. I'd put that one aside for the sake of this particular post. He's not a pushy parent from what i see by far...).

I didn't appreciate how convenient Edinburgh was before reading some of the comments so thanks mumsnet'ers. I'll show this post to DH now!

I imagine they stay in Scotland for the free universities!

We lived in Glasgow for work when DD was a baby and really wish we’d stay - it’s an amazing country and DD wants to go there for uni - should have stayed for the free uni.

You’ll find Guildford very dull compared to Edinburgh (no offence to Guildford!)

You would be absolutely insane to move, IMO, for all the reasons already mentioned and the sheer bloody BEAUTY of the place.

St Andrews graduate. The subject I studied was recently top in one of the national league tables, ahead of Oxbridge.

Also, the school I went to in SW Scotland was really pretty bad! I got prizes and a First at university. Schools aren’t everything.

And FWIW, I’m hoping my eldest DC does an apprenticeship at college. It would suit his leaning style much better. He’s not a mini me (thank goodness!).

Oh bloody hell, i knew this would be about Oxbridge! The numbers getting into Oxbridge are lower because the numbers applying are lower, my DS2 got 3As at Advanced Highers (from a state school) that's the equivalent of 3A*s and he declined to apply to Oxford (despite me taking him for a visit the year before to broaden his horizons ). It's a cultural thing not an ability thing.
For what it's worth, anecdotally, the only child of my DS's age I know who applied to Cambridge got in and there is someone on Scotsnet who's son got in to study law (also from a State school).
You really need to look beyond the bare statistics.
From my friends experience schooling in Guilford is very high pressure, not what I'd choose but it's what their mother wants.

Very odd to consider that no school in Edinburgh will be able to give your DC an adequate education to get into Oxbridge, and even stranger to make a life changing decision when your DC is only 4 months.

Your DH does realise that your DC might have their own ideas about this, this might even involve not going to uni!

Bloody hell! You have Fettes on your doorstep, can afford it, and your DH is worried about schooling. He needs to give his head a wobble

Are you thinking private or state schools?

@FelicityPike you missed the bit where I said money was a reason .

Just one point, I really wouldn't count on free university educationby the time your baby is 17/18.

I'd choose Edinburgh over a commuter town. But, being commuter towns, they do have easy access to central London, which has a zoo and all the theatres, museums, etc you could possibly wish for.