To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

[JenXG]

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

Another one for Edinburgh, though I'm biased.

I did have some sympathy on the school thing... but you may be overthinking for a 4mo, and if you are intending on going private. I do have niggling doubts about failing DS educationally, as we're in a (lovely, but not especially academic) state primary, in catchment for a less-than-stellar state secondary. And the current Scottish Government appears to have next to no respect or ambitions for the educational standards of Scotland’s children. But, that may just be me, and won't be relevant for you if you can afford private or can afford appropriate housing in a good state catchment.

I don't think free university tuition will last for the 17 years before your DS needs to think about it, so I probably wouldn't use that as a particular reason to stay if I were you!

On all other aspects, Edinburgh is fantastic, culturally (when we are allowed culture again),aesthetically, socially, locationally (not a word... but good transport links elsewhere, close to countryside etc) and by every other measure. Apart from the weather, maybe.

Also, I don't know how it would be humanly possible to be pushier than this with a four month old. He'll have the flash cards out by six months.

I agree with the very first post on here, unless you want milder weather stay put. Edinburgh is amazing.

Guildford is ok but has its share of entitled aspirational people which can be tedious. I am not sure I would want to live there (I live about half an hour away).

Nothing apart from not being able to get a job would make me leave Edinburgh to come to England! Stay in Edinburgh! It is absolutely beautiful, free education and plenty to do.

I live within the commuter belt of london. I would love to live in Edinburgh or anywhere in Scotland. I don't recommend moving down here .

You couldn't pay me to live in a southern commuter town. Or the south Midlands in general.

Pros: nice climate
Cons: shitty public transport
shitty roads
Hard to find culture outside the cities
boring towns
Lots of nice countryside you can't access since its privately owned.
People can be so weird and insular down there
The south midlands are definitely places were people come from not go to.

Your husband sounds like an ignorant snob
I'd be squashing those attitudes quickly before your DS grows up feeling utterly inadequate in his attempts to meet his father's expectations.

@tabulahrasa

“DH doesn't like the fact that very few some years nil students get into Oxbridge from these schools”

Because they can go to St. Andrews or Edinburgh for free...

This.

I hate the 'it has to be London and nowhere else will do' mentality and it does few people any favours. If you're settled in Edinburgh, you'd be insane to move, its a great place to live.

I'd be hoping that your DS decides he wants to be a plumber or a train driver instead.

I live in a 'commute' town (whatever that is) within easy reach of the City of London, which is why we moved here. It might not be Edinburgh, but it's within in easy reach of a major international airport, several motorways, the beach... but it's quiet and countrified too. And it's in the driest, warmest part of the UK.

Having said that, housing's also expensive (which is an advantage when we want to move away though) and I would be thinking long and hard about which side of the Scottish border I'd want to be in after Brexit/independence.

I've lived in Edinburgh, Hitchin, Stevenage, Hertford and Croydon. Looked at moving to Reigate in Surrey when our kids were little, so I know a fair bit of the south east. I am now trying to arrange a move back to Scotland so maybe that unduly influences my answer... but I think your husband is absolutely crazy! The life quality in Edinburgh is TONS better than in the likes of Guildford. Lots more on, more green space, the Highlands are nearby, winter sport, the city itself is beautiful... if you both have decent jobs there you have hit the absolute jackpot. I don't know whether you are thinking of state or private school, but if it's state, I would suspect that you can buy your way into the catchment areas for the best schools in Edinburgh for the price of an average 3 bed semi in a London commuter town, and even if you are in the catchment for a good school, it's literally a lottery as to whether your first kid gets into the oversubscribed local decent school or ends up in the sink school that everyone tries to avoid.
I also think he's barking up the wrong tree as regards the Highers - they're internationally recognised for university admission, all that stuff is harmonised across Europe.

Nip this nonsense in the bud now. He's off his rocker!

I live near Edinburgh, went to university there and work in the Education sector in the city.
Edinburgh is a great city, with excellent state and private schools. If your son wants to aim for Oxford or Cambridge when he is older, he will be supported to do that. All English universities have an awareness of Scottish qualifications and some of the private schools sit English qualifications.
There's no way I would swap Edinburgh for a SE commuter town.

Hey! I live in a commute town in the SE and so far, I'm not impressed. The excitement of going out in London instead of where I live (not much going on) wore off after a while and the commuting part can be really exhausting.

I think if you love living in a big bustling city, you will find life in a commuter town quite dull in comparison.

As a born Londoner who has also worked in Edinburgh if you want London "lite" you already have it. Edinburgh has all the main advantages of a real city but on a smaller scale, including good schools according to Scots colleagues who were themselves Oxbridge/St Andrews.

Guildford is suburbia with expensive shops. Again nice if you want it but its not a mini London. Commuting is expensive and takes a lot longer door to door than the basic train time. Wher are your familes and support network?

Even if your son's ambitions align with DH's schools and university financing can change a great deal in 10 yrs. If he is that desperate just put his name down for Eton/Winchester/Ampleforth whatever and be prepared to board.

It is cut throat getting into the best state schools in the Home Counties. Ime. I would guess , perhaps someone else can verify, that popping up in the catchment area of a great new school for DS might not guarantee a place if it is already full.

I’d relocate only for work to London- not for another reason (or to the south east) - quality of life will be far better in Edinburgh. It’s cleaner, safer, less crowded, Scottish schools were traditionally very good, and Edinburgh is far more liveable while still having loads to do.

We live in London but I want to leave before DS starts primary school. Up to me, we’d go further to the south west for a better quality of life, but our jobs are in London and neither of us want a long commute, so realistically we’re looking at Berkshire, Kent, Buckinghamshire and maybe Hampshire or Surrey- none of which thrill me- the areas closer to London are quite suburban, ludicrously expensive for a family home, and (for me) too crowded.

We’re going to have to compromise for the commute, and will ultimately base our location on schools, but no way if I had the choice would I leave Edinburgh for the south east of England if I was raising my family.

Guildford isn't Edinburgh but Edinburgh most certainly isn't London, by a very long way.

Edinburgh most certainly isn't London, by a very long way.

THankfully.

Edinburgh is a fantastic city with great schools. I would stay put.

Also, your baby is just a tiny tot. He os likely to have is in views when he reached his teens about how his future looks and it may not even feature uni, never mind Oxbridge!

Stay where the lifestyle is better and enjoy your child without fretting. over where he is going to uni.

I’m from Edinburgh and feel oddly offended!

I hope your 4mo doesn’t have any type of learning difficulties or god forbid choose a career that doesn’t require Uni. Can’t he just wish his child be happy?

@Pyewhacket

Guildford isn't Edinburgh but Edinburgh most certainly isn't London, by a very long way.

Do you know Edinburgh? The trouble with these kind of comparisons is that they can only really be applied if you are quite literally a millionaire. Your access to attractive, central, lovely housing in a nice area with good schools - don't even bother trying to compare London to any other large city in those respects unless money is literally no object.

Edinburgh is madly expensive but you are right - it's very much not London. It is in fact one of the very few locations in the UK that you could really say you pretty much have it all - culture, stunning architecture, access to amazing landscapes, world-class university on your doorstep - without it having to be London.

London's amazing. But I'd never move back because my actual qaulity of life would decline dramatically because of the accommodation I could afford. Same for OP.

Just the phrase 'commuter town' makes my blood run cold.

Edinburgh all the way. And I don't even like Edinburgh (my heart is in Glasgow). But it's a proper city.

I live down South...in an Essex Commuter place. I would move to gorgeous Edinburgh in a heartbeat!! Wow..wanna swap houses?! X

Considering the massive issues we have here in commuter belts with county lines drugs, i'd stay put...

@HallFloor

I wouldn't want to be the child whose family uprooted 400 miles for a lifestyle their mother clearly feels is inferior only for the sake of an education their father is going to pin everything on.

If your earning power is roughly the same in London and Edninburgh, then by the time you factor in the increased cost of living, including huge commuting costs from any commuter town, you'll be able to buy private schooling with the difference.

Pretty much this

@JenXG

No good schools in Edinburgh? Fettes is one of the top schools in the UK?! You also have Gordounston if offspring were more sporty than academic.