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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Resort manager has a point?

513 replies

Redredwine2020 · 09/12/2020 20:26

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Redredwine2020 · 09/12/2020 22:22

I did say that too @fucksanta1 in my post, I don't agree with how his response is written at all.

I just see the whole thing as being on a par of expecting to take a disabled child to a strip club and its discrimination that they can't when it just isn't an appropriate setting.

OP posts:
louderthan1 · 09/12/2020 22:22

Oh my god I want to go to this wonderful place!

San141 · 09/12/2020 22:23

Can mnhq message me please

louderthan1 · 09/12/2020 22:23

How would you have worded the response differently? Not being goady, just interested.

ScalpHelp · 09/12/2020 22:24

I’m with the manager too.

The woman sounds like she actively encourages her child to be loud and squeal.

liveitwell · 09/12/2020 22:24

I agree that the parent clearly chose the wrong resort.

However the manager was a major prick in his response. Almost making out she 'doesnt want to control her child' etc just totally ignorant. I'd never go there, even as a couple, having read that review. He could have expressed himself much better than writing what he did.

Newmumatlast · 09/12/2020 22:27
  1. The hotel was not wrong to expect no noise regardless if reason as it is clear on their website and social media and so people shouldn't book if they know they cannot adhere to this for whatever reason
  1. I do think that the language the manager used in the response was inappropriate in terms of some of the phrasing. They could've made the same points more respectfully. Either there is more going on here (and it was more than this mother having a SEN child) or the manager probably could do with some training re: equality and diversity and the correct way to speak to customers, even though I agree they're right to say their policy is clear
  1. You shouldn't have been kicked from the group if you weren't abusive or disrespectful, just disagreed
BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456 · 09/12/2020 22:27

I would not have taken my neuro typical children to that hotel, most children are loud in some way in the pool on holiday. Hotel manager sounds as bonkers as the mother though!

pinbinpin · 09/12/2020 22:29

Out of all the millions of resorts in the world that either don't specify any such policies or have a reputation and many review that show they have a reputation for being family friendly - why ON EARTH would you choose to spend a large amount of money going to this one if you had children, full stop, never mind a child with additional needs?!?!?!

Absolutely mind-boggling. I don't even look at holidays that aren't child friendly aka fairly noisy and lively round the pool because I never even see them as the first thing I do when booking a family holiday is check the "child-friendly" tick box. Absolutely astounded at the attitude of the parents. I too would be too scared to go to that resort but I fully support their right to defend their very clear policy.

islockdownoveryet · 09/12/2020 22:30

I would definitely not go because of the managers response and just had a quick scan and some of the other reviews not great either .
Valid point about taking a child there but perhaps they thought a quiet resort was better for dc .
I honestly don't know why you sided with the manager on face book on a thread to do with special needs and you are surprised . For that yabu and even more so to come on here to expect some sort of support.

Newmumatlast · 09/12/2020 22:30

@5zeds

I’d avoid that resort and be disgusted if my family went there, but excluding disabled people is not something I’d condone anywhere. My ds has verbal tics though so can’t “be quiet” and I really don’t think it’s ok to exclude him any more than I think it ok to exclude the blind/deaf/immobile/disfigured. It’s a huge pool, I doubt there wasn’t room to move away if the presence of difference is so intolerable.
It isnt just excluding disabled people. Its excluding anyone who makes noise.

Neither my child nor I have additional needs but we definitely couldn't go.

Haffiana · 09/12/2020 22:31

Happiness.........nothing better in this world to get than happiness?
If I give this gift to you flowers wouldn't everybody get a little love?

No. No they wouldn't.

RubyFakeLips · 09/12/2020 22:32

YANBU and I don't think its discrimination by stealth, as if you reversed the scenario where an individual needed a quiet environment and was distressed that the noisy party resort booked was not suitable, it wouldn't be seen as discriminatory.

I'm pleased to have seen this, in fact I wonder if this is some sort of advert?! So many people around the globe have been cooped up with their kids, they'll be planning to get away as soon as they can. I'll definitely be looking into this place as somewhere for DH and I to have a child free holiday.

5zeds · 09/12/2020 22:33

@gottakeeponmovin thank you we travel fairly regularly so I am fairly good at choosing resorts that we will enjoy.

This woman’s experience is not ours at all and I AM disgusted at the attitude of the manager and amazed that anyone would want to support this sort of thing, but we all have our own morality.

I wonder if it was an adult who could not avoid making noise if that would impact people’s perception?

If your Mum or Dad had a stroke and moaned occasionally?

The child has been excluded because of his disability. I’m not sure why that’s ok?

AddisonM · 09/12/2020 22:33

It is discrimination though. If the child in question suffers from a disability and this is a manifestation of that disability then it simply is discrimination to not allow them there 🤷🏻‍♀️

That’s not to say that I disagree with their stance. But that’s the law surely.

HitthatroadJack · 09/12/2020 22:34

@islockdownoveryet

I would definitely not go because of the managers response and just had a quick scan and some of the other reviews not great either . Valid point about taking a child there but perhaps they thought a quiet resort was better for dc . I honestly don't know why you sided with the manager on face book on a thread to do with special needs and you are surprised . For that yabu and even more so to come on here to expect some sort of support.
did you miss that 95% agree with the OP?

Nowhere is it about excluding someone with special need. It's about noise.

A quiet resort might benefit special need children just as much as anyone else.

MLMbotsgoaway · 09/12/2020 22:35

I don’t like his inference that she “won’t control her child”. However she sounds pretty entitled and it also sounds like their rules are crystal clear.

Lozz22 · 09/12/2020 22:35

That hotel sounds bloody perfect!!

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/12/2020 22:37

I wonder if it was an adult who could not avoid making noise if that would impact people’s perception?
Nope. Their rules mean that my NT adult brother wouldn't be able to stay. It is a quiet resort. If you cannot be quiet for whatever reason, this is not the resort for you.

Original poster
Redredwine2020 · 09/12/2020 22:38

@louderthan1 by acknowledging that the DC couldn't help it and that he has additional needs but perhaps a more family orientated resort would have been more appropriate to book as we specifically target our audience by being a very quiet and peaceful resort?

OP posts:
BigBadVoodooHat · 09/12/2020 22:39

For that yabu and even more so to come on here to expect some sort of support.

Yeah, OP, how dare you post on MN about something that happened externally to MN?! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT!!!! Consider yourself told! Grin

madcatladyforever · 09/12/2020 22:39

The website is very clear.
I must go there, sounds like just my cup of tea.

grisen · 09/12/2020 22:40

I really like the policy and the fact that it’s followed through. However, I think both the policy and the managers response could be a little less harsh. However, it obviously wasn’t harsh enough for that mother to get it.

AddisonM · 09/12/2020 22:41

Just because the website makes it clear doesn’t make it not discrimination.

Discrimination arising from disability.