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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Resort manager has a point?

513 replies

Redredwine2020 · 09/12/2020 20:26

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

OP posts:
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6
BigBadVoodooHat · 09/12/2020 22:02

@MrsTerryPratchett

I do think it's a tough thing. I mean if every resort did this you are saying that no child with these kind of disabilities is allowed away. Discrimination by stealth. In this case, yes she was U but in general, people need to be aware of additional needs.

This is why you READ the Tripadvisor reviews rather than just look at the score.

Not every product will be suitable for every people. It's not 'discrimination by stealth' to model a product or run a holiday resort in such a way that it wont be suitable for every single person on the planet.

And yes, people do indeed need to be aware of additional needs. That doesn't mean that they don't also have the right to book a quiet resort for their vacation and assume that, given the incredibly clear company policy, this will be a resort where there is no screaming by the pool.

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindaEllen · 09/12/2020 22:03

@MrsTerryPratchett

I do think it's a tough thing. I mean if every resort did this you are saying that no child with these kind of disabilities is allowed away. Discrimination by stealth. In this case, yes she was U but in general, people need to be aware of additional needs.

This is why you READ the Tripadvisor reviews rather than just look at the score.

But that's the point. NOT every resort is a quiet resort. So you book one of the many that you are welcome at.

You don't get to ruin everyone's peaceful holiday because of additional needs when there are many other options open to you. It's like sticking yourself on top of a high horse just for the sake of things.

No need.

5zeds · 09/12/2020 22:04

I’d avoid that resort and be disgusted if my family went there, but excluding disabled people is not something I’d condone anywhere. My ds has verbal tics though so can’t “be quiet” and I really don’t think it’s ok to exclude him any more than I think it ok to exclude the blind/deaf/immobile/disfigured. It’s a huge pool, I doubt there wasn’t room to move away if the presence of difference is so intolerable.

katy1213 · 09/12/2020 22:04

My first thought was I want to go to that hotel!
And my second was that you are well out of any group that doesn't allow dissenting opinions.

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mousehole10 · 09/12/2020 22:05

@PatriciaPerch

Everyone we meet would smile a little daydream, it could be amazing
I hope not, that would be inappropriate for many situations (much like it’s inappropriate for this parent and child to be at this resort).
JingsMahBucket · 09/12/2020 22:05

@PatriciaPerch are you okay?

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mousehole10 · 09/12/2020 22:07

@5zeds

I’d avoid that resort and be disgusted if my family went there, but excluding disabled people is not something I’d condone anywhere. My ds has verbal tics though so can’t “be quiet” and I really don’t think it’s ok to exclude him any more than I think it ok to exclude the blind/deaf/immobile/disfigured. It’s a huge pool, I doubt there wasn’t room to move away if the presence of difference is so intolerable.
It’s not an intolerance of difference to want to book a quiet resort without the chance that there will be loud noise in the pool area when you’re trying to relax. They are Different resorts suitable for all people so I would expect people to book one suitable for their family.
LindaEllen · 09/12/2020 22:07

@5zeds

I’d avoid that resort and be disgusted if my family went there, but excluding disabled people is not something I’d condone anywhere. My ds has verbal tics though so can’t “be quiet” and I really don’t think it’s ok to exclude him any more than I think it ok to exclude the blind/deaf/immobile/disfigured. It’s a huge pool, I doubt there wasn’t room to move away if the presence of difference is so intolerable.
No, it's easy. If the party you're travelling in cannot be quiet, you don't go to a resort that specifically asks for quietness. It is NOT discrimination and it is not something to be disgusted by.
PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:07

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gottakeeponmovin · 09/12/2020 22:09

@5zeds there are plenty of resorts that you can take your son to. By the same token there are plenty of people that don't want to listen to noise made by kids (or indeed adults) and they should have options also. So if your son makes noises this is not the resort to take him to. Simple

HitthatroadJack · 09/12/2020 22:11

You just need to read some of the reactions on here to see why the manager has made it as clear as possible and no one should be able to argue they didn't understand what they booked.

The sense of entitlement of some people is ridiculous. It's not discrimination any more than an "adult only" resort might be.

I have NT children, honestly quite well behaved. I wouldn't book the resort with them. It wouldn't be fair on anyone.

WHY do people insist that it's their human right to go everywhere and do anything they like? A bit of respect towards others wouldn't hurt.

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 09/12/2020 22:11

Oh ffs

I have two DC who have additional needs myself and like.everyone else the world cannot revolve around them. It's quite clear on the website it's a.relaxing, quiet resort.

So why the hell go there ? Was it because he's special ? Very special ? The most special person who ever graced the planet ?

What an absolute moron 🙄

DioneTheDiabolist · 09/12/2020 22:12

YANBU OP and nor was the manager of the hotel.

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 09/12/2020 22:14

@PatriciaPerch

All at once you see a million faces bloom and December turns to June
And - 'I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy'
JorisBonson · 09/12/2020 22:16

BRB, off to Plantation Bay.

PatriciaPerch · 09/12/2020 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WayTooSoon · 09/12/2020 22:17

It is a very well written rebuttal by the resort manager. Spas cost a lot of money, and if it is a "quiet" resort, then chances are the customers have paid a lot of money for a bit of peace and quiet.

I don't think the attitude of the reviewer is limited to SEN parents. It is the same attitude that some people have when they take their young children to a pub and then complain about pub goers swearing around their kids. Some parents just can't understand that there are some places not suitable for your children. The parents need to accommodate their children by taking them to more suitable places, rather than taking them where they like and expecting everyone else to accommodate them.

BigBadVoodooHat · 09/12/2020 22:18

@5zeds

I’d avoid that resort and be disgusted if my family went there, but excluding disabled people is not something I’d condone anywhere. My ds has verbal tics though so can’t “be quiet” and I really don’t think it’s ok to exclude him any more than I think it ok to exclude the blind/deaf/immobile/disfigured. It’s a huge pool, I doubt there wasn’t room to move away if the presence of difference is so intolerable.
They don't 'exclude disabled people'. They request that people who book to visit their resort abide by their strict and explicit 'no noise' policy.

What possessed this family to book this resort in the first place? Why did they proactively chose to spend money on a holiday that was never going to suit them?

Her review essentially boils down to 'This resort operates exactly the policies it explicitly tells you that they operate, and despite choosing to book it anyway even though those explicitly stated policies don't fit well with our family, I was outraged to discover that this resort did not suit my family in the slightest'.

fucksanta1 · 09/12/2020 22:19

I have a loud Sen child but the policy is clear and therefore you have to respect that

fucksanta1 · 09/12/2020 22:20

But the managers reply was disgusting