Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

I totally agree with you. I have a child with additional needs and he can be very noisy which is why we stick to caravan holidays at the moment as it is ideal for him. I would never expect people who are looking for a peaceful getaway to be made to feel uncomfortable.

If you're child is being annoying to others you remove them, special needs or not.
No-one want to hear a anyone scream continually.
Some 2 year olds go through that stage and I just removed mine.

See i would argue its not disability related because I genuinely don't know of a single child disabled or not who would be quiet enough for this resort, especially swimming etc. Most kids are loud. Its not specifically targeting disabled kids. Its noise in general. Likewise there's some disabled children who would absolutely thrive and be no bother here.

I have two disabled children, I don't expect to take them anywhere and everywhere and I wouldn't with non-disabled children either.

My understanding (although I am willing to be corrected by someone who knows better than me) is that sometimes a no-noise policy that discriminates against a disabled person could be objectively justified i.e. it’s a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim. So for example in a cinema the legitimate aim of such a policy would be that people around someone making noise would be unable to hear the film.

From the managers comments I don’t see what the legitimate aim is here, or that essentially banning an autistic person is a proportionate means of achieving it. That lifeguards need to hear people in trouble is crap. Other pools seem to manage it fine with normal noise levels.

It’s not discriminatory. Seriously do people actually think their children are entitled to do every activity, go everywhere regardless? Everyone is different, everyone has different wants, likes, needs no matter if they have a disability or not. Book something suitable for your family, do not book a resort that asks for quiet if your family can’t be quiet. Doesn’t matter if you’re disabled or not! I wouldn’t take my young baby to this resort as she can’t be quiet, they aren’t discriminating against her. No one wants to hear a screaming baby round the pool when they’ve booked a quiet resort.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to have disabled child, but as with anything, and that goes even for people without disabilities, there are limits.
Most places charge extra for being adult only or quiet and"relaxing". We all know our limitations. Or at least should.

People should consider clearly written terms. They are there for readon. In situation like thsi, there are choices of many other resorts which have no issue with noise. If it were the only resort (or important institution) I would absolutely support the mother though.

There is a reason why different places cater to different requirements.

Apologies for typos🤦

It's anyone, disabled or not, who happens to make loud noises regardless of the reason. ridiculous! It’s not descrimination to exclude someone for choosing to do something it IS if they cannot choose. How can you not understand this???

...but that’s not how the law works. As far as I understand it.

Other pools seem to manage it fine with normal noise levels.

Most of them do, so it is entitled and stupid to choose one of the few resorts that doesn't.

@underneaththeash

If you're child is being annoying to others you remove them, special needs or not. No-one want to hear a anyone scream continually. Some 2 year olds go through that stage and I just removed mine.

This! Doesn’t matter the reason for the screaming, you remove your kid from quiet places. You wouldn’t take a child who screams to a posh restaurant either, you go to places suitable. Some people are so entitled!

I think it's madness not to have a minimum age (wouldn't necessarily have to be 18, could allow for quiet teens) at a resort which is aiming at a quiet atmosphere to this extent - for every parent who genuinely has an unusually quiet and docile four year old you're going to get ten who think their child isn't disruptive because they don't bother them...

A resort pretending to be "inclusive for all" would just mean a miserable for everyone.

Why not selecting one that is perfect for your needs and preferences and actually enjoy yourself?

Well there is that too. My girls are 6 and 3. NT as far as I’m aware. I wouldn’t take them anywhere near that place.

Sounds grim anyway.

Because that’s not how the law works.

Am I the only one who thinks the original review was fake?

No, that did occur to me. The language sounds very hyperbolic and really hams up the 'look at me, I'm special' message. Had the author been a genuine customer writing of their own experiences this review would resemble a self-parody of a 'me, me me' culture. If this even happened at all, I'm betting it's what Mumsnetters tend to refer to as a 'reverse'.

Out of interest, I looked at other negative reviews for this hotel. The management would leave a nastily-worded comment to every single one of them, calling the guests liars. In response to one review, where the guest said that they are limiting the use of mobile phones, they wrote even "perhaps, instead of reading our rules properly, you were checking your gadget". You just cannot talk this way to customers.

On balance, I fall on the side of agreeing with the manager. The reviewer's "special, special, special" got on my tits. However, I do tend to agree with this from @MrsTerryPratchett:

I do think it's a tough thing. I mean if every resort did this you are saying that no child with these kind of disabilities is allowed away. Discrimination by stealth.

After all, who's going to argue with a service provider arguing that their no loud noise policy saves lives?

who's going to argue with a service provider arguing that their no loud noise policy saves lives

Well, plenty of people. Like I said, other, normal resorts seem to manage it. They aren’t all drowning in their droves in other resorts, are they?

@PatriciaPerch

One could turn to two, it's so surprising what the little things can do

Are you drunk? Why are you quoting random song lyrics through this post??

Much as I like peace and quiet, what would really put me off from booking that resort is the management's perception that a child can only ever be noisy out of incivility and discourtesy. That demonstrates a total failure to understand the nature of disability and is indeed discriminatory.

@AddisonM

who's going to argue with a service provider arguing that their no loud noise policy saves lives

Well, plenty of people. Like I said, other, normal resorts seem to manage it. They aren’t all drowning in their droves in other resorts, are they?

The manager sort of claims they are

Well, plenty of people. Like I said, other, normal resorts seem to manage it. They aren’t all drowning in their droves in other resorts, are they?

I've never heard anyone else come up with that fairly novel excuse/reason for such a policy though. In fact, I've never heard such a policy before. Have you? Genuine question - I may simply have been living under a rock.

I'm aware of child free hotels fucking bliss but this policy seems to go beyond even that.