Resort manager has a point?

[Redredwine2020]

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

I get the feeling people don’t understand what discrimination against the disabled really means.

I get the feeling you're patronising and arrogant. I, and many others on this thread who don't agree with you, ARE disabled.

@5zeds I don't know how you can compare this to guide digs. Guide dogs are well trained dogs who will sit quietly at a table. They will not interfere with anyone else's meal or ruin anyone else's enjoyment.A screeching teenager in a specified quiet zone where people have paid for exactly that, will ruin the enjoyment of every other person in that zone (except his mother)

@gottakeeponmovin thanks for explaining all the “options” my son has, I’m not sure how your suggestions on suitable holidays for us really effects if it is discriminatory to exclude people who make involuntary noise or not. I understand you want to put us firmly in our place but I have REPEATEDLY said I wouldn’t go to this resort, with or without my child. The managers attitude and behaviour are not something I would support or enjoy being around. As for guide dogs, they don’t bother me at all but there are lots of people who wouldn’t be at all comfortable close to a dog. It really depends on the individual.

I like my steak rare, I like my company inclusive and on balance I like my holidays as far away from “Manny” as possible.

The managers attitude and behaviour are not something I would support or enjoy being around.

Is it just the managers attitude that would stop you going? Or that it is advertised as a quiet place and it would be difficult for your family to be quiet?

The other reviews are fairly damming but if you’re asking if we go to places where people are generally quiet and make noise well obviously yes. People with verbal tics go to libraries, on planes, restaurants, school/university classes, churches, cinemas etc. Of course they do, how else would they go about their lives?

@5zeds

The other reviews are fairly damming but if you’re asking if we go to places where people are generally quiet and make noise well obviously yes. People with verbal tics go to libraries, on planes, restaurants, school/university classes, churches, cinemas etc. Of course they do, how else would they go about their lives?

Would you go if the session was advertised as a quiet session? Because those places you mentioned aren't generally quiet unless running specific sessions. You expect those places to be nosy.

Well I’m not the one with the verbal tics but yes I expect people to be kind and accommodating. I certainly don’t think people with Tourette’s need to stick to McDonald’s and travel lodges. Honestly I would be FAR more upset seeing a happy autistic child asked to leave than listening to the noise.

@5zeds

Well I’m not the one with the verbal tics but yes I expect people to be kind and accommodating. I certainly don’t think people with Tourette’s need to stick to McDonald’s and travel lodges. Honestly I would be FAR more upset seeing a happy autistic child asked to leave than listening to the noise.

You are beeing annoying with this now. Kimd and accomodating? How is not providing quiet spaces for someone who may need a quiet space"kind and accomodating". Someone with Tourette syndrome doesn't need to stick to "McDonald's and Travelodge"🙄 Stop being ridiculous.

You arguing for no quiet spaces, which is what you are doing, however, means that you are arguing for people who cannot bear noise to be... Homebound.
Kind and accomodating my arse.

Maybe, just maybe realise that world is big enough for both groups to have their own "safe spaces" AND shared spaces.

I’m not arguing FOR anything. I’m telling you what I think. You can do whatever the fuck you like. Pay over the odds to stay at this revolting place, and not agree it’s revolting but instead feel it’s lovely and “exclusive”, that’s your choice. I can vote with my feet and my wallet and stay at places that are more aligned with how I feel things should be done. This is not a situation where I can control your thinking or you can control mine. I believe the manager to be both disablist and unpleasant based on his replies. It’s not an attitude I recognise as typically Filipino and certainly not my experience of holidaying in the Far East. My experience has been very positive of people’s kindness outside of the UK. It’s one of the reasons we travel regularly because it is really good to feel welcome rather than tolerated. I really hope that families with disabled members haven’t been put off trying long haul and heading East rather than West has always been good for us.

For those saying this policy is discriminatory, a local supermarket offers ‘autism hour’ whereby everything is quiet (no beeping at the tills etc) and the lights are dimmed, announcements made more quietly etc. Our cinema has a similar policy for its autism friendly showings. So, if screamy kid were to come along, he would presumably not be welcome due to the disruption he would cause to the others attending.

The resort sounds like a library but, if I had a choice of that or going to another resort where a kid continuously screamed and ruined my holiday, I know which one I would choose!

Shops who offer autism friendly hours are welcoming to those who can’t help making noise as are cinemas.

@5zeds

The other reviews are fairly damming but if you’re asking if we go to places where people are generally quiet and make noise well obviously yes. People with verbal tics go to libraries, on planes, restaurants, school/university classes, churches, cinemas etc. Of course they do, how else would they go about their lives?

Not places that are generally quiet, of course its not unreasonable for you to go to the library, BUT, if a session was advertised as a quiet session, would you go to thia?

Just your replies seem at pains to point out that the only reason you would not go here is the managers attitude. No recognition at all about it specifically being advertised as quiet..which in turn has been clearly demonstrated throughout the thread to be very useful for people with other disabilities. Yet still, it seems its only about the attitude of the manager?

You arguing for no quiet spaces, which is what you are doing, however, means that you are arguing for people who cannot bear noise to be... Homebound.

Well yes, this was where I was coming from really. In expecting 100% of places to be welcoming to someone who cannot help making noise, this means that basically 0% of places are accommodating for those who cannot tolerate noise. Where presently, 95% of places are welcoming to noise, and 5% (if that, probably much less) are 'quiet' specified.

Sorry I didnt refresh page and didn't realise there were more replies already

@5zeds

Shops who offer autism friendly hours are welcoming to those who can’t help making noise as are cinemas.

Sessions that are specifically for those who cannot tolerate noise, are welcoming to endless noise (whether or not it can be helped)?! Really?

How would one find this out in the first place really, without purposely ignoring the stated aim of such sessions, to just see if they will ignore their aims. And than make a complaint no doubt, given how this all comes across, if they will NOT ignore their stated aims to include all

Also, autism friendly hours, are different to the specified quiet times, which are 'autism friendly' but more..aimed towards those who have issues with noise than Autistic people who make a lot of noise. Our local cinema does a few different special sessions. Where its made clear one is for those who need quieter times, and some where noise is welcome, some where its fine for kids to actually run about when watching, sessions where babies in arms are welcome, so expect crying and such, and so on. I would be quiet pissed off, rightly IMO, if I paid for the quiet time, and someone made loud noises continually throughout it. I would not expect to go to the noisier sessions and then whinge that it was too loud for my daughter. As I am aware that the noiser sessions are to benefit other people who have different issues than my daughter. How it comes across on here, is that I should indeed be going (or at least, reserve the right to go, should I chose to as everywhere should bend to what my family needs)to the louder sessions and then complaining that they do not benefit my daughter and thus are discriminating?!

Autism or not though, I wouldn't take my DD there because she's not quite. She is wittering on constantly or singing or dancing.

Not everywhere is suitable for everyone is it.

My nephew who is autistic would love it, he hated noise. He'd have the time of his life.

I don’t know anyone who can control their infants. So if your baby cries there is a chance you will be told told to leave the hotel. They would benefit from advertising this fact more profoundly.

It is not a hotel I would go to personally, but I see the appeal.

@5zeds

Well I’m not the one with the verbal tics but yes I expect people to be kind and accommodating. I certainly don’t think people with Tourette’s need to stick to McDonald’s and travel lodges. Honestly I would be FAR more upset seeing a happy autistic child asked to leave than listening to the noise.

So you expect people to be kind and accommodating as long as they meet your assumptions on disability?

How nice for you that you would be happy for the quiet session to be invaded by noise.

Why should others have to suffer often agonizing pain because other people have no clue about how varying disabilities are, and even with the same diagnosis.

You don't really seem to want anyone who cannot physically/mentally handle noise go anywhere really do you? These types of resorts are designed for those who not only enjoy peace, but it also ensures those with physical/mental disabilities due to sensory noise overload have somewhere safe to go.

If you really wanted places to be more inclusive and accepting, you would be fully supporting those spaces and respecting the targeted groups wishes.

Lots and lots of campaigning has happened over the years, and a lot more needs to be done to get some proper protected quiet times across the board. Just like gyms do woman only sessions for example. And to be staffed like the resort manager to ensure the rules are adhered to. Just like same sex gym etc sessions, there is nothing discriminatory about this.

@Bathroom12345 your story reminds me of when we went to the Caribbean pre children.
The resort had 3 pools, 2 family friendly and 1 adults only. Obviously I went to the adult only one.
There was a woman who brought her 2 children to the adult pool every single day. They would scream and jump in (there was an American woman who did serious laps underwater who was nearly jumped on). And every day someone had to complain and get them removed.
She went round one day and asked each if we minded and every single one said yes. She couldn’t understand why, and she didn’t like the main pools as they were full of noisy children. People are clueless, so glad when they left..

This hotel hasn’t been discriminatory, they just handled the explanation badly.

Nope, not unreasonable at all. The policy is clearly stated, if somewhat unfortunately worded. And it would be the perfect place for me, as I have anxiety issues that are triggered by loud noises.

@MrsTerryPratchett, I do see what you are saying, but at the same time, given my own issues, not having quiet resorts available would discriminate against me. The two disabilities are incompatible, and both need to be accommodated...hence, "family friendly" and "quiet" resorts both have their places.

This sounds ideal for my husband and I.

I would not take my children. My son is four and is not quiet at all. Even when he is being ‘quiet’ it’s quite a loud voice.

My seven year old wouldn’t like it being too quiet either even though she isn’t particularly loud.

It just wouldn’t be fair to take them to this resort at the moment. Wouldn’t be fair to my children or the other guests.

I don’t think Yabu OP.

The hotel would be better off being adults only.

Wow, that resort looks like a barrel of laughs! 😳🙄