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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Resort manager has a point?

513 replies

Redredwine2020 · 09/12/2020 20:26

Just been absolutely roasted and kicked out of a FB group for my opinion on this.

AIBU to think the parent should have considered what resort she was booking? Their website is very clear.

www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g298461-d477886-r778557585-Plantation_Bay_Resort_And_Spa-Lapu_Lapu_Mactan_Island_Cebu_Island_Visayas.html

For full disclaimer I have two ridiculously noisy children with additional needs, I specifically ensure our holiday resorts are suitable. I don't think its fair to subject a resort full of holidaymakers who have specifically chosen a quiet resort to them?

OP posts:
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6
riceuten · 11/12/2020 20:15

A few years ago, I remember there being a fierce debate about a concert at Kings College in Cambridge, where a mother had brought her son - who as I recall was ASD non-verbal and who had grunted along loudly with the music to the consternation of some of the attendees.

The debate was long and involved about whether the child's right to attend and enjoy the concert trumped other people's wishes just to hear the music (and I have been to enough concerts where idiot hummers have ruined it for me personally).

So we have that dichotomy present here as well.

mylifestory · 11/12/2020 21:01

Sounds like the mum was taking the kid where she wd like to go in normal circumstances. Who in their right mind de take a SEN kid to the phillipines??

SuperCaliFragalistic · 11/12/2020 21:07

@mylifestory

Sounds like the mum was taking the kid where she wd like to go in normal circumstances. Who in their right mind de take a SEN kid to the phillipines??
Don't be a tool. Firstly she was living in the Philippines so holidaying in her own country. Secondly, Children with SEN (not an SEN kid) live all over the world, in every community, and they have just as much right to travel with their families and enjoy a holiday as anyone else.
5zeds · 11/12/2020 21:11

Sounds like the mum was taking the kid where she wd like to go in normal circumstances. Who in their right mind de take a SEN kid to the phillipines??

Shock.

Some people with disabilities, both children and adults, like to travel.

The child was enjoying themselves, just not quietly enough for the manager.

The mother and child lived in the Philippines.

canigooutyet · 11/12/2020 21:14

@mylifestory

Sounds like the mum was taking the kid where she wd like to go in normal circumstances. Who in their right mind de take a SEN kid to the phillipines??
Why what is the issue with someone who has additional needs going to the Philippines?
Redredwine2020 · 11/12/2020 21:16

Even as OP of this thread I absolutely would take my children to the phillipines or anywhere we want to go. I just wouldn't pick this resort or any similar. I would pick a family resort or one suitable for our needs.

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 11/12/2020 21:17

*I wonder exactly when this message was put on their website, though?

I reckon this warning went onto the website after the situation went viral.*

Seems it''s been there sometime. The manager even mentions this also appears on the booking forms and confirmation. Other reviews also imply, that actually they follow through with the T&C's in which they booked.
Massive thumbs up from me on that alone.

NatD1 · 12/12/2020 00:32

Wow we’ve stayed at this resort with 2 x 11 year olds at the time. I never read about the ‘quiet policy’ and didn’t read anything while we were there that seemed over the top. (Many places require you to turn phones off in the spa or restaurant). It is a huge tranquil place with accommodation directly overlooking large lagoons. Noise would echo around if you weren’t mindful. I could see if there was lots of screaming etc. It would be annoying in your room and tricky to recognise if anyone was in difficulties in the water. (Think large lagoons with rocks not a standard swimming pool).

Our children had one of their best ever holidays there. Staff were lovely. Suitable activities: rock climbing, arcade, archery, free bicycles, mermaid lessons, snorkelling and evening dinner shows.

You’re right though. Maybe the holiday was good because it was quiet and relaxed. I fully recommend the Plantation Bay Banana Colada cocktails! Cheers!

It used to be a very popular resort destination flying from Seoul, South Korea. Many families went there and recommended to others.

Manager could’ve been a lot more diplomatic in his comments and use appropriate language but maybe there’s more to this story than meets the eye. I’m genuinely surprised reading this entire thread!

csigeek · 12/12/2020 09:36

Totally agree with you OP.
One look at the resort details and photos and I wouldn’t consider it for a family holiday with a toddler with no additional needs. It’s a resort for adults.
Feels like the lady booked that’s resort because SHE wanted to holiday there without considering if it would be suitable for her child.
Some people are just incredibly entitled.

autumnboys · 12/12/2020 09:47

I have one autistic child and two NT. I wouldn’t have booked that resort at any point with the kids because their stated rules are very clear. The mother was VVU to have booked knowing her child would squeal in the water. However.....the manager’s tone in the reply is exactly the sort of condescending stuff that parents of SEN children get a lot. He could have just pointed out the clearly stated rules and left it at that. I don’t think that implying near silence was necessary to keep the pools safe/not to confuse the lifeguards was a great look.

As my mum would say, two wrongs don’t make a right.

stevalnamechanger · 12/12/2020 10:05

This place sounds like heaven

gottakeeponmovin · 12/12/2020 10:21

@5zeds the manager has to take into account the enjoyment of all his guests not just two of them.

Sheilasfeels · 12/12/2020 10:22

Ooh it's a tough one. On one hand, adult only holidays should be a thing so that you can relax. But don't call yourself family friendly if you aren't going to allow families with different abilities. It is discrimination to say we allow only neurotypical families at this resort. Just say you are a quiet, zen adult resort, and accept the reduction in bookings because families aren't coming.

gottakeeponmovin · 12/12/2020 10:25

I can't imagine most NT kids would enjoy a holiday there to be honest. My kids make a noise when playing in a pool. I couldn't take them there

dramaticpenguin · 12/12/2020 10:43

I suppose it might be better if the resort just didn't allow children at all... rather than no noisy children, that way they couldn't be accused of discrimination on the basis of disability x

sadblackcat · 12/12/2020 10:53

There are loads of hotels that welcome noisy family holiday makers. This one doesn't, so why book it?

Sounds like my kind of hotel...........peace and quite to sit by the pool and read my book.

Thespidersweb · 12/12/2020 10:59

The manager is an absolute arsehole

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/12/2020 11:04

The managers responses to other complaints are fabulous. He really goes for the jugular and says those things you wished you could say but don't.....

(C&P)
Dear Tripadvisor Readers,

We have all (unfortunately) encountered people like this. For whatever complex personal reasons, their default strategy in life is to belittle others and find fault, to act unacceptably and then dare the rest of the world to protest. These people are bullies and wife-beaters as spouses, backstabbers as colleagues, and professional complainers as hotel guests. They get their jollies by demeaning hotel staff and trying to intimidate them into waiving bills.

This reviewer's group was unable to find any fault in our rooms, our leisure facilities, or our ambience. Therefore they had to settle for libeling us about our food and mocking our willingness to enforce rules. Motives? They ordered a steak Medium-Rare, ate all of it (every last morsel), and then tried to intimidate our staff into cancelling the bill because they claimed the steak had been Medium. Prior to that occasion, several members of this party got drunk at our swim-up bar and had to be refused service. On yet another occasion one of them repeatedly heckled the singer at our nightclub, and had to be strongly cautioned to respect our employees.

Unlike most hotels, which follow the line of least resistance, we don't allow a few rude people to ruin the experience of our other guests. Abusive guests cost hotels money and managerial time, and harm staff morale. The cost of that is eventually spread out among the normal non-complaining customers. If you and other travelers allow a few bullies like this to influence your hotel choices, eventually you will pay the bill.

Allow me a word about our food. Our chefs are regularly sent to the US, Europe, and around Asia to hone their cooking skills. Our current Executive Chef is Filipino, but we have had French, German, and Danish chefs in the past. I am the Resident Shareholder at Plantation Bay and personally vet each item that is included in our menus. If you want to know why I am qualified to do this, please go to our website, www.plantationbay.com; you will find my Tourism-Related Resume under Contact Us>Management. Not every dish will please every guest, but most people find a number of dishes to get enthusiastic about (which is about the most you would expect of even your #1 personal favorite restaurant in the world).

As for the reviewer's accusation that we recommend steak Well-Done: Guilty as Charged (but on only one count; the reviewer deliberately presents an incomplete truth to mislead readers). Traditionally, many steak lovers claim to prefer Rare (US definition, Purple-Red) or even less-cooked, as in the French Saignant (Bloody, leaking like a sieve), or Bleu (Blue or full-on Purple, barely touched the grill). I don't agree with these preferences, and explain my reasons in our menu, which can be previewed our website: Dining>Restaurants>Palermo>View Full Menu, page 3. (We're so confident about our food, we're one of the few hotels in the world which publishes all our menus online.) Most of our steaks are recommended Medium-Rare (reddish) or Medium (bright pink), because in our experience these cooking levels bring out the full flavor of the respective meats. Of course you can order steak any done-ness you like. No one is holding a gun to your head. We in fact counsel against Well-Done except for our Japanese Kagoshima Sirloin. This super-marbled steak consists of almost 70% fat; if you order it Rare, you're just eating raw fat. Cook it our way, Well-Done and butterflied at that, and you will taste a steak unlike any other in the world, with the fat rendered crisp and succulent, rich with smoky, caramelized, and char-broiling flavors. No guest who ordered our Kagoshima steak Well-Done has ever sent it back. And it's a steal at less than $70 - you'd pay double to triple that almost anywhere else in the world.

Sincerely,

Manny Gonzalez
Resident Shareholder

MichelleScarn · 12/12/2020 11:34

That's a fantastic response Jeremy and the honesty and backing of their staff l wish more hospitality employers showed!

5zeds · 12/12/2020 11:51

Arf at Manny-the-Manager knowing how you will like your steak cooked. GrinGrinGrin

I get the feeling people don’t understand what discrimination against the disabled really means. All it means is that the rule is unfair BECAUSE this persons disability is the reason they can’t abide by the rules (eg guide dogs being allowed in places other dogs are excluded from so that their owners can go shopping/to a hotel/to a restaurant). It’s not a judgement on if that discrimination is warranted (eg with my own child when he does high ropes/climbing he needs 1:1 support and extra clips etc because he is more likely to fall. It isn’t discrimination that we need to arrange in advance because how else could he participate?). Is it fair? I think so but I’m sure if I wrote “they make disabled people book in advance and everyone else can just rock up on the day!!!AngryAngryAngry” it could be seen as discrimination.

Ifeelsuchafool · 12/12/2020 12:08

I totally agree with you. Whilst I have every sympathy with parents with children with autism and other SEN (my cousin's child is autistic) and would never look askance or castigate anyone with such a child in normal situations, I do think that it's perfectly reasonable for those of us who have passed the child rearing years, or who have chosen not to have children at all, to be given the opportunity of holiday destinations where we can enjoy peace and quiet either with only other adults or with children who are able to be self-disciplined enough to limit their exuberance in such situations. (Though not sure how much fun even a so called "normal" or "average", or whatever the PC term is, not wishing to cause any offence, child would have under such circumstances!)

gottakeeponmovin · 12/12/2020 14:32

No @5zeds it is not unfair you can go somewhere else. There is not a lack of options for your son. I am just amazed that you think that hundreds of people who have booked a holiday in a quiet reality should have to listen to anyone making noise! The world doesn't revolve around your son. People are entitled to go somewhere quiet.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/12/2020 14:38

Arf at Manny-the-Manager knowing how you will like your steak cooked. gringringrin

You laugh, but from my time in a restaurant doing steaks, people generally don't know... Nor do they "just looooove spicy" as much as they make staff believe when ordering🙄

canigooutyet · 12/12/2020 14:53

@Sheilasfeels

Ooh it's a tough one. On one hand, adult only holidays should be a thing so that you can relax. But don't call yourself family friendly if you aren't going to allow families with different abilities. It is discrimination to say we allow only neurotypical families at this resort. Just say you are a quiet, zen adult resort, and accept the reduction in bookings because families aren't coming.
You do realise that not everyone with disabilities makes noise and actively seek out these types of places that promise peace, quiet and tranquility?

So how are they discriminating?

How is it a tough one?

A person thought the T&C's didn't apply to them. They learned a lesson that life doesn't revolve around you. They could have had the same enjoyment at any other traditional family resort. Instead, nope, lets go to the quiet place.

canigooutyet · 12/12/2020 14:59

It's not usual for restaurants to suggest how a dish is served for the ultimate taste experience (or some guff like that). And it's just that, a suggestion.

One of the Burger chains do Blue burgers and suggest they are served this way. The customer can have it cooked as they want still.