AIBU to have just about fucking had it with men?

[PurpleFeather]

I’m sure some of you will pile on me to tell me “it’s not all men”, but right now I don’t fucking care.

Woke up to read about more horrific sexual attacks on women along my favourite running route (there have been many lately).

Dealt with some horrific sexism in my work meeting today (a “hilarious” conversation between male members of staff as to why men are just so much smarter than women).

Ended the day by receiving an e-mail from someone I line manage about how she approached inappropriately by a customer today.

So we can’t run safely, we can’t do our jobs and be seen as “equal”, and we can’t serve customers without getting harassed.

Today I am so so so angry. I am done with making excuses for men, and giving them the benefit of the doubt (“He probably brushed past me by accident”, and “he was only joking really”, etc). I am just totally, utterly done with male privilege and male violence rearing it’s fucking ugly head in every area of my life.

Fuck the patriarchy!

I mean even this thread your taring every male with the same brush.

^

Give us the tar, men have everything else.

I am with you, OP. 100%.

So fucking sick of the world I have to live in, because of men.

Take porn. The explicit violence towards women, all in service of the Male orgasm. Men and boys watching this shit and expecting their female partners to ‘act the porn star’.

I’m established in my career now, but every single day I will experience or observe some aspect of misogynistic behaviour in the workplace.

I almost wish they would all fuck off to an island somewhere, wank themselves to a frenzy watching the free porn, then start killing each other when there were no women to beat.
I’m so over the patriarchy.

@yetanothernamitynamechange

"I’m a women and Iv never heard of this saying. How is that even true confused I’m not afraid a man will kill me" Then either you are lucky and have led a fortunate life or you are naive.

Agreed.

With you, OP. I'm over it.

I agree with you. It's too exhausting to even go into it. If you find a nice, decent man, then you are incredibly lucky. It should be the norm, but it's not.

Bloody Hell op, after all that I don’t blame you for being angry at men. With ( of course ) the caveat that it isn’t all men, and it’s not, it is pretty much most of them, to some extent at least. Yes, women do commit murder. Very often because they have been abused for a very long time. Also, women don’t murder nearly as much as men. I wonder whether, sometimes, men don’t even realise the everyday sexism that happens,well, pretty much everywhere really.

If women raising their sons was a solution, we'd have eradicated misogyny already.

Men are shit and the patriarchy is shitter. The way we are held to ridiculously high standards in looks, behaviour etc.
But we go along woth it. We have swallowed this " worthless without a man" bullshit. It isvprobobly because we are scared of men and their physical ability ti crush us. They have done a massive number on ys and we have swallowed it whole.

Luckily dp is lovely..but he is still priveledged.

YANBU. Not even slightly. If more women had to go through courts in domestic abuse cases, they'd see just how weighted the world is towards men.

Yanbu- I had 3 men in work yesterday do things and say things that made me want to bleach myself. Last year my dd and I got followed home from the school with a drunk man leering at us the whole way home, had to duck into a busy train station to lose him.
I purposefully dress very plainly after being assaulted on the way home from work 18 months ago, I only dress more easily if I have my DH with me.
Its buuuuuullshiiiiit

More sexily* - and it's not for DH benefit it's just the way I want to dress

Typos aggrrr!

@malificent7 I also have a lovely DP, though I don’t really feel like he “gets” this. When I get angry about this kind of thing he just gets defensive and says “well, it’s not all men”. And whilst he is right this attitude really annoys me. By comparison, if a black person was talking to me about the struggles of living in a racist society, I would never dream to respond in such a defensive way (even though I’m not a racist myself). I like to think that in that case, I would just listen and think of ways in which I could be part of the solution, rather than the problem. Yet all I get from my husband is this defensive attitude.

I know I’m probably being unreasonable. I’ve just gone to bed feeling angry about this, woken up angry and I hate feeling angry (I promise you I’m not actually an angry person!).

I agree as well op
I just read I hate men by Pauline Harmange. She makes some good points. Yes individually, some men I love, but men as a raping, violent, sexist whole, nothing to love there.

A few men made an inappropriate joke about women's breasts at work...noone blinked an eyelid. I visibly rolled my eyes! Another colleague told a female receptionist that women use multitasking as an excuse to do everything badly.

Have had days like that as well. Was having a conversation with a friend the other day about how many encounters we have experienced with men which fall well beyond reasonable/appropriate on their part but we end up feeling almost grateful because it could have been worse? It truly is unacceptable.

Read a book called the Power by Naomi. alderman. Overnight by a quirk of nature young women develop an electrical charge they can use to kill men. It starts in Eastern Europe the young women being abused in the sex industry start killing their abusers and it spreads from there. The power balance reverses within a few days.

Yes @LopsidedWombat!!! After I was last sexually harassed by a man a few weeks ago (he came right into my space and started speaking all sort of filth to my face) - All I could think was “well, it wasn’t like he touched me...”. I almost felt like I couldn’t be upset because it hadn’t been “that bad”.

@malificent7 that’s atrocious. One of these days when something like that happens to me I am going to flip.

Agree with all this. Just went onto bbc website and saw this story.

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/55215201

I am not angry today, I am exhausted

Apparently the woman who was gang raped consented! In his view, whoever the fuck he is. Course she didnt! That article is horrific.
What I find sad is that nothing has improved. In some ways things are worse. The pressure now on teenage girls about their looks is much worse than 30 years ago, due to social media, porn, etc.

I have some wonderful male friends that really do not stand for any kind of sexism, even when with their lad friends.

I still think the world would be largely much better with like, a quarter of the number of men in it.

When you read the news about genocide, or rape, or assault, or stabbings, or a house burned down with children inside it’s usually men. Of course women do evil things, but not to the same level or sheer numbers.

I work in a male dominated industry and majority of the customers I deal with are men and shit that comes out the their mouths is just unbelievable, what grinds my gears is that they wouldn't say even half the stuff they do to me to another man!

We had attitude and rudeness from one of dds male teachers at parents evening I bet my bottom dollar he wouldn’t have spoken to dd and I like that if dh had been there tall in his manly suit 🙄

As much as I am lucky enough to have lots of kind and wonderful men in my life I totally relate to this thread. My 16 year old dd has already been sexually assaulted (at school by a boy who had form but who kept getting given second chances to the point it had to take a much more serious assault on another girl before he was expelled). My dd was 14 when that happened.

I run a business with my dh and this week I've been actually really upset at how everyone defers to dh and undermines/ignores/patronises me even though we are equal partners in our company. Although the thing is even women are guilty of this it seems!