Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your baby cut off age would be

504 replies

Allthestarsarecloser · 08/12/2020 17:42

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

OP posts:
VanityWitch · 08/12/2020 19:03

45 I think, but very hard to say as I had my dcs in my early thirties and haven't even hit 40 yet. 45 year olds in my acquaintance seem more energetic than I do tbh!

MsWarrensProfession · 08/12/2020 19:06

Kind of plucked out of the air because on all the mortality and morbidity tables I see 55 is the age band where you start to see what in my personal opinion are uncomfortably high risks of serious illness and death.
37+18 = 55

DuzzyFuck · 08/12/2020 19:06

When I was younger I imagined I'd want to be done and dusted my 35 at the latest.

I'm 37 now, didn't meet DP until I'd just turned 36 so I've adjusted my ideas to match. We're TTC now and 42 is my new cut-off, if we haven't managed it by then I think we'd give up.

lifebytheby · 08/12/2020 19:08

Early 40s for cut off for last baby. But if I had NO children by that point I'd probably keep going until I hit menopause to be honest.

Congratulations to your friend OP!

Pinkroses87 · 08/12/2020 19:10

@bitheby don’t let this thread upset you! It’s completely subjective! I’m stopping at 2 at 39 but honestly feel absolutely fine and could merrily keep going physically - just never wanted more than two. It’s totally up to the individual.

TulesDana · 08/12/2020 19:11

Bitherby I thought the same, I should know better than to read these threads! I'm trying at 42.

Pinkroses87 · 08/12/2020 19:12

Also, I think we all forget that to young children, we’re all sodding ancient, regardless of whether we started at 15 or 40!

TheFirstMrsDV · 08/12/2020 19:13

I had my fifth at 43.
I was less tired than when I had my first two in my mid 20. I happen to find babies and toddlers easy.
I don't regret it but I do sometimes worry. I am a youngish 53 but I am now acutely aware of how quickly this can change and I feel guilty.
I am very aware of keeping myself as healthy and fit as possible. Something I didn't really think about much in my 20s. But I do see women half my age looking ropey due to smoking/drinking/eating habits.

bitheby · 08/12/2020 19:13

Thanks. I'm 43. I had an early miscarriage in April so I would've been due around now. I'm finding the whole thing very hard. Still trying. At this rate I'll be lucky to have one.

Bunbunbunny · 08/12/2020 19:13

Been trying 10 years Sad

Age limit keeps going up each year

GameSetMatch · 08/12/2020 19:17

I think 43 would be my cut off, I’ve got two boys and if I’m lucky enough to have a third I honestly don’t think I’d care how old I was.

ScubaSteven · 08/12/2020 19:17

My cut off wasn't to do with age, it was years out of my career. My DH had to stop progressing in his due to a health condition so it's been up to me to support us. I took a career break for 3 years whilst I had my DC but then after 3 years I needed to get back to it or risk being unemployable. As much as I hate to admit that...

It isn't a decision I'm totally happy with but there are too many factors in our life that wouldn't work around another child, let alone a newborn. I couldn't work full time and have 3 children so we have stopped at 2. In an ideal world I don't think age would actually stop me until biology did.

ThornAmongstRoses · 08/12/2020 19:20

I’m 37 now and although I feel young enough, I don’t think I am in reality.

My husband said 35 was his cut off point. Thankfully I fell pregnant with my second, much wanted baby, a few months before he turned 35.

Hippopotas · 08/12/2020 19:21

I’ve only just at nearly 35 decided I want one. I have decided just the one and would like to have one by the age of 40 so I guess 40 is my cut off.

AlwaysBehindTheCurve · 08/12/2020 19:22

Tricky one. I’m 36 and absolutely couldn’t imagine being pregnant and having a baby now... too old and knackered. So I’d say 35. But then the reason I’m too old and knackered is because I already have 3 children... without them I’d be infinitely more sprightly I reckon. So if I hadn’t had children by now I’d probably put my cut off at 40.
My cousin is currently pregnant at 45, desperately wanted. My best friend is my age and pregnant with her first and wants a couple. Two of my NCT friends were 42 having their first baby.
All depends on life/circumstances.

formerbabe · 08/12/2020 19:23

I never had a cut off age. Had mine at 26/28. Am happy they'll both be adults before I'm 50. I wouldn't have minded having them later necessarily but not after 40.

DuzzyFuck · 08/12/2020 19:23

Just wanted to add, 42 would be my new cut off for my own personal reasons, not because I think it would be a physical or mental struggle at that point; I don't want to upset anyone by suggesting it is.

I wish every success to anyone trying at whatever age x

MinnieMountain · 08/12/2020 19:23
  1. We had our only (by choice) DC when I was 34.
Snally82 · 08/12/2020 19:24

@bitheby

Well this thread has made me cry. I'm still trying. Not saying how old I am.
It’s all so subjective, and so very sensitive. Please just think of your own journey xx
WiseOwlWan · 08/12/2020 19:27

I had my youngest dc at 36 and now at 50 i really wish he was a bit older than 14 🤔😳

I know life isnt always perfect but id have liked to have had freedom at 50, to go away for a couple of nights so ill ssy 34

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 08/12/2020 19:27

My cut off used to be 30 (I had my first 2 young). Now I’m mid 30s and ttc I don’t know what it is but I hope I’m finished giving birth by 40.

OulDoll · 08/12/2020 19:27

Turned out to be 45 for me. Am now 53 with a 12yo and an 8yo. My sister is 3 years older than me and has 6 grandchildren, 2 of whom are older than my eldest!

Whattheactual20201 · 08/12/2020 19:30

I was 15 21 and 28 so that’s now my cut off 🤣 I wouldn’t of minded one in 30s early 40s but because of having DS1 so young if I had one at 40 I would end up being a mum to young children for years !

EnglishRain · 08/12/2020 19:31

I've just had my first at 28, so I'd like to be done by 34 I'd say. If I had no children I'd probably go as long as I could. I have fertility issues so I'm pretty sure my own eggs wouldn't be good enough by about 40, and I wouldn't want donor eggs so that would probably mean I'd have to stop around then.

ThornAmongstRoses · 08/12/2020 19:32

I had mine when I was 30 and 33 - which I suppose may be considered young by some, but I don’t particularly think it is.

My sister had her children when she was 23 and 25.

I’m very jealous that at the age of 38 her children are 15 and 12 and she has so much of her life back - she has a lot of freedom and a lot of fun.

In contrast, I am 37 with a 3 year old and a six year old and it feels like getting my life back is a long way off.

I didn’t meet my husband until I was 27, hence why I had my children in my 30’s, but I think there’s a lot to be said for having children when you’re younger.