To ask what your baby cut off age would be

[Allthestarsarecloser]

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

It depends on circumstances surely ,I didn't meet Dh untill I was 31 ,I had ds1 at 33 and Ds2 at 36 ,I'm 47 now and can imagine having a baby now ,but I'm happy with my two .

I’m pregnant at 38. And tbh I’m so glad to have been able to have so much ‘freedom’ in my 20s and 30s. Travelling, extended holidays, going out, financial security... I don’t think I’d have wanted it the other way around.

My cut was 38. Same age my mother had me. I had Ds at 26. Had endometriosis at 30, hit perimenopause at 34. Had no more.

I had my DS when I was 25, I would like another one when I am 29 (next year) and then I think I will be done. Circumstances may change and I may want another in the future, I would say 40 would be my personal cut off - also my mum went through early menopause before 40 so I keep that in mind that it may be genetic.

@bitheby

Well this thread has made me cry. I'm still trying. Not saying how old I am.

I am sorry you are upset @bitheby I had my 4th at 40 and told OH 'we might as well try for another, it will NEVER happen now (when I was 43). Everything I had read and heard told me there was no chance. That 'no way , no chance' baby is now 10.

I have worked with families for decades. I have known mothers from 14 to 50. I really hope you get the baby you so desperately want.

I had my first at 18, now due another at 25.

Absolutely wouldn't have any more after late 20’s however if i was childless at that point that might make me think differently, but always knew i would have kids early and imo 30 is getting late.

Ideal is 32
I had mine at 30, 32 and 35.
I sort of wish I could've done 28, 30 and 32.

I had my first at 35 and we always said once he was around 2 we would discuss another as my son was premature born with hypothyroidism and my pregnancy was extremely difficult both emotionally and physically due to being told he may not be viable with life at 6 months, thank god we got good news from that and he's perfect at 3 years old now,we had baby no 2 in July I was 37,this is my cut off as both pregnancies were plagued with complications,I was induced early on both, multiple hospital stays in both,high BP, and GD in this one, honestly I couldn't do it again,I love my babies more than anything but I'm happy with my 2 but like others say if I longed for a baby (which I always have) I'd go until there really was no chance

My mum had me at 37 and my younger brother at 42. I don’t think being an older mother had any negative impact on us whatsoever, and from a positive perspective my parents were hugely better off financially than if they’d had us in their twenties so we got all the benefits and comfort that that entails.

I get annoyed when people say they’d never have kids over 30, 35 or whatever - I appreciate it’s a personal choice but I think people massively overestimate the difference 5-10 years makes, particularly if you are from a middle to higher socio economic demographic that means you are likely to be healthy well into your 70s or beyond. The only thing that makes me a bit sad is the thought that if I also don’t have kids until 35+ my mum will be a pretty old grandmother once the kids are 10 she will be 80. But my own grandmother is still well and living independently at 99 so it might all be fine.

38 for me, but I had my first at 25. If I didn’t have any children I’d keep trying into my early 40s

As you have said, life isn’t perfect and doesn’t always work out as planned. I always had it in my head that I didn’t want to be an older mum, but I lost my first at 20 weeks pregnant this year aged 34. Prior to that I had it in my head it was something I needed to do before 35, now, who knows!

I know many women worry about the changes of babies having something wrong with them if they are born to older mothers.
I am not dismissing that entirely but I have worked with disabled babies and children for a very long time and these things can happen to any mother at any age. I work with a wide range of mothers of children with a very wide range of disabilities. The age range is not top heavy by any means.

I'd either want all my twenties childfree or all my fifties childfree. As long as I get a good decade of adulthood where I don't have caring duties and am not too old to enjoy it. So for me once I'd had them in my twenties, I wouldn't have one in my forties and consequently have decades of child rearing.

I don’t have a cut off but I don’t want big gaps between my kids as the needs differs so much. I have two children already who are 4 and a half and 2 and a half and pregnant with my third. My eldest will be 5 when my third is born. I am 38. I think that is it for me but my husband wants one more.

I'm 35 and as I have 2 dc already I feel about 80 and couldn't imagine starting all over again. However, if I didn't have any dc I imagine I would be bursting with energy and enthusiasm for small children I am not sure if I would ever feel too old if I didn't have dc. As it is, having one ages you about 20 years

My cut off was 35 as that is when we completed our family: dh had a vasectomy not long after.

If I hadn't completed my family then I guess I would just keep trying. 42 springs to mind but honestly who knows.

I wanted to be done before 40. But secondary infertility had other ideas. I’m 14 wks with 4th baby due in June. I turn 40 in January. If we lose this baby we won’t try again but I’m not sure if that’s because of my age or because I’ve already been pregnant 10 times and that feels like enough for a lifetime.

If I’d never had a baby though we’d have been ‘bareback til the menopause’ as my husband so eloquently puts it!

I think by next summer when my eldest is 18 and my youngest is 15, i can leave them for a few nights...... im a single parent and i have not had a break in a million years. Ill be 51 next summer and some good friends are going away for their / my 50ths. Please please please universe let my youngest seem old enough to leave him with his sister for a few nights.

Mines 35, I don’t like the risk factors and lucky enough to start younger. I want to potentially retire early and don’t want teenagers still financially dependent.

I’m sure if my situation was different I would have increased this to 40.

I was done by 35 and that felt right to.me. if I'd had problems conceiving I wouldn't have kept trying, or done any ivf.

Mine was 40, I had my third and last baby at 39.5

35 was my cut off. Had my second at 32.

Ps it might be hormonal but i have a feeling im ready for "my time" and yet my youngest is 14 andca half. It's not that ive checked out of motherhood!! But i feel so excited to have more freedom.

When i peed on the stick at 35, im not sure i knew what i now mean by freedom. If i had any ideas. I wasnt as brave.

I have two kids and I'd be knackered with a 3rd. I'm 38.

However, with a first child I'd be fine.

Yes you're older but less knackered if it's a first baby.