To ask what your baby cut off age would be

[Allthestarsarecloser]

I had my kids at 34 & 38 and I am now 46. My lovely friend is pregnant with a much wanted first baby at 46 and it’s got me thinking if I could do it at that point- I don’t think I could to be honest. I think my cut off was 40 probably!
Aibu to ask what ideal your cut off point age wise would be for kids? I know life isn’t perfect so it’s not so simple for everyone as my friend proves

@bitheby my friend had double-donor twins at 50.

I just had my first at 40 (years of trying) and I always told myself that if she could do it at 50 I could too.

When I was a kid I thought I’d have my first by 26. If I had, it would’ve been with a feckless alcoholic.

I knew i didn't want them younger ,I was just too busy and selfish.

Ideally I would have had him a little younger but it took us a few years to conceive him at 35, so maybe 32/33, but health wise I'm fitter and healthier now than when I was mid 20s, so I could easily care for another baby, I think about 43 would be my cut off.

In an ideal world I would start at 32 and finish at 42. I would probably go up to 45 if needed (and may freeze my eggs to make this more possible). Anyone that thinks that is too old can quite frankly nob off!

Another hug for bitheby - my friend has had a baby via donor at 50+ and she's absolutely rocking being a new mum with more energy than I ever had. Everyone's circumstances are different. Having said that I know anecdotes dont really help and infertility is fucking hard ... and anyway.

I don't really know how to answer my "ideal" cut-off. My ideal would be say... 33? That's when I had my last child and I wouldn't have wanted to have one any later!

But if I hadn't been able to at that point, I would have done so later. Just wouldn't have been ideal. I still would've done it though! The desire to have children is strong, let's say I had only met someone and found myself in a situation to have kids when I was 34, would I have said no? Of course not! I guess around 40 would be that point where I would give up. But even then it's hard to say that when I'm not actually in that situation. If I was 41 and desperate for a child and had been wanting one for years and finally had the chance, would I say "nope, I'm too old"? I'm not sure.

40 maximum

Having a baby at 46 deliberately is pretty selfish

Not what this post was about but all the late baby stories are cheering me up so much 😊 TTC for 6 months at 34 and kicking myself that I've left it this late but hopefully I still have time 🤞

30. Had my last at 27. It’s all down to luck and circumstance though.

If I really wanted a baby I don't think I could have a cut of age.

As others have said it depends a lot on circumstances. Personally my thinking around DC was less about age and more around income/stability/housing/job flexibility and similar.

But you asked about ideals, OP - 35 or so for me. We lost one this year (I'm 34) so I'm not sure we'll quite manage that, but that would have been the ideal for me.

Please send baby dust that I spend my 35 birthday fat and pregnant 🤣

My cut off was 40 but as I’m now 40 and want a second it has changed to 42 😁 Life never goes the way you plan - I had to have IVF with DD and then had a miscarriage with my unplanned but much wanted (naturally conceived) second pregnancy last year.

40ish.

So sorry @EssentialHummus

I will have be 30 when I have my second next year.

That’s it for me. I find the early years so difficult I want it all out of the way. So by the time I’m 32 I’ll be able to enjoy life with a 2 and 5 year old.

When I was younger I wanted them at 27, 29, 33 and 35
As it was I had them at 33 then twins at 37.

I think our trying cut off would have been 40 with the second pregnancy but 45 with the first.

In an ideal world I would have had my 4 by 35 so 6 years earlier than I did...

But things don’t always work that way. I only met DH at 28 and married at 31. 4 kids at 33, 36, 38 and 41. We agreed that if I wasn’t pregnant before my 41st birthday then we would stop trying for no.4 so 41 became my cut off point...I had almost given up hope but I got my positive test a month before I turned 41..

It’s all dependent on circumstance...

Having a baby at 46 deliberately is pretty selfish why? what a nasty statement

I had my last at 37 and that was absolutely the latest I'd want to. It's more tiring than when I was younger in sure!

45. I had mine at 42.

My plan was to have 2 dc between age 28-32. I’m now 30, nearly 31, single and unlikely to meet someone any time soon.

Turning 38 next week and drawing a line under a 9 year secondary infertility battle. It would be lovely to have another but a 10 year age gap is too much for us and having spent time with toddler nieces and nephews, I am definitely over the baby and toddler hood tedium 😁

I wanted to have my first by 30 (I was 29) and if I ever have a second it must be before I’m 35. But we probably won’t have another, happy as we are ☺️

30 would have been my cut off. I wanted to have a great life after my children left home, as it was i was luck and retired when my youngest was 20 and i was in my mid 40s. I plan 20 years of doing what i like, when i like and then taking it a bit easier when i hit 70.

I think it depends on your circumstances. I had my one and only at 35 - to some that's 'old' because they're out of the baby phase. I'm in my late 30s now and definitely beyond my cut off point because mentally, I'm done and, can't imagine myself ever starting over again. If I hadn't had the opportunity yet though, I probably wouldn't feel that way.