TRIGGER police told my attacker my address

[whatthefliphelp]

Trigger warning

Sorry bit rambly but I had a date this weekend. About fourth or fifth id seen him. He raped me.

I freaked out. It's brought back previous trauma. When I left he rang the police to check on me. They came and then left as I was ok when I got home and felt safer.

But it turns out they told him my address. He rang me today and says he knows where I live. I've just had the police confirm that yes they told him. They were just stupid and said yes the police are at xxx address. So now he knows where I live.

I'm veering from angry to scared. I don't know what to do. I told the police woman who rang me and now she said you need to report this. I'm not in a great place. I can't handle this.

What the hell do I do?

Omg, I'm so sorry op. What are the police going to do about their mistake?

Did he ring the police to admit he'd raped you?

Op this is dreadful. All of it. Bless you

Right, you need to write, email, etc the local duty Inspector and highlight this breach. Failing that contact professional standards dept.
Not fucking on.

Bloody hell op, no words of advice but sending you a hand to hold. I hope you are ok and they take this seriously.

Jesus and I thought I’d seen how low the police could get. Not sure what you can do about him having your address I’m so sorry. But he’s clearly not a first timer and calling the police was to cover his tracks. I’m so so sorry rape is a fucking traumatic experience

The police woman who rang you shouldn’t be telling you that you need to report this. She fucking needs to report this breach herself!

He rang the police as I was in a really bad way. It brought back childhood stuff. I haven't dealt with it at all and I just completely freaked.

The police woman said I could either leave it with them and they'll have a word with the call handler. Or make an official complaint.

But she wants me to report the rape. And that's not why I rang. I rang because I couldn't believe they'd be so stupid as to tell him my address. He rang me today and said I know where you live it's xxx, I'm not stupid. I can find things out.

It's really freaking me out.

Just to clarify, what do you mean by after you left he rang the police to check on you???

So sorry that happened to you.

I am totally lost though. So he did a heinous crime, you were understandably distraught and left, so then he called the police to say he'd raped a woman and wanted to make sure she's ok?????

He didn't say he'd raped me. He said I was upset as he'd dumped me. He said we'd split up and I hadn't taken it well

What the hell did he call the police to ask them to do? "Hi I assaulted a woman, would you mind popping in to check on her?"

Did he actually plan the whole initial phone call as a ruse to get your address? That is so fucked up. The first thing I would do is go and temporarily stay with somebody. Can you?

X post

I don’t understand. You have already reported the rape.

There is plenty they can do - around making sure the place is secure, ensuring regular checks, putting a marker on your file to ensure immediate responses if you call. They might not yet but also they can install cameras and other security.

A friend of mine worked with the Police like this due to her address being released by the court in dodgy circumstances (believe me all the systems are pretty careless in my view) so she was camerad alarmed, phone hotline the works.

I felt sorry for the burglar that picked on her - the police were there in 3 minutes.

No @Finfintytint, reread the OP's posts

Make an official complaint

Yes I’d feel better staying with someone or having someone over to stay in your circumstance. Do you have anyone you can ask?

you also need to work out how to record phone calls and keep screen shots of texts etc

Oh he’s fucking clever isn’t he, setting up for the “of course I didn’t rape her I split up with her it’s revenge” defence.

Absolute bastard. Honestly though, I don’t think I’d report it. They’ll accept that defence, and you’ll drag yourself through hell for nothing.

Why when the police contacted you the first time did you not ask for their help. DEf proceed with an official complaint. but i think if he raped you you need to proceed with reporting it. If he gets away with it once he may do it again. (I do understand why you may choose not to though.)

Sorry if I’m getting confused but he actioned a welfare check on you and the police officer or call taker you spoke to subsequently stated you needed to report the rape. Sorry but that is reporting a rape and action should have been taken from that point onwards.

Reporting the rape was the last thing on my mind. I'm reliving dark childhood stuff. He knows this. I told him why I needed to take things slowly. He knows how fragile I am.

I’m so sorry I thought I knew how shit police were but that is a new one.

First off look to security now. Lock doors. Next get back on to the police and tell them what did happen and that he’s now rang you in an intimidating way talking about how he knows where you live. Tell them you’re scared for your immediate safety because of their mistake. Ask them what they’re going to do about it. You sound a bit shocked, make sure it comes across that you are scared. Underline again that this is due to their mistake. Perhaps they can send a woman pc to stay or something, I don’t actually know, anyone else?

I think you need experienced help. Please do ring Rape Crisis (details below) - they won't push you to report, or not to report, but they will be able to support you.

And yes, an official complaint to the police is needed. They have recklessly put you in danger.

rapecrisis.org.uk/

You sound like you’re in a mental health crisis, tell them that too.