Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

[Highfivemum]

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

My kids were average in size when they were still growing but after their 'half year' I still always bought the next age up. My daughter is 5'3'' now at her full nearly 18 year old height but it was still a normal thing to do to buy the next age up the whole way along.

I’d screenshot and send to your friend as suggested by a pp, say that you would have exchanged it if you’d known there was a problem. And no, I wouldn’t be sending that rude child a gift. I’d be tempted to send a charity gift in his name and make it clear you’ve bought something for a family who will be grateful for what you’ve got them.

I'd be very tempted to do this.

It would certainly be the last gift he got from me unless I got an apology.

To answer a couple of points.
His mum and I are not close to be honest. Though I have tried. Her EX DH and my DH were best friends growing up. I have always treated him throughout the year and tried to keep him in our lives.
No never received a thank you card or text before.
Usually on the Christmas card she sends me it will say He loved the birthday gift.
Still waiting to hear from her.

@Taikoo

That's very, very rude. I'd wipe the floor with him, if he was my child.

Yeah violence is the answer

Anyway, are you a proper fully paid up nominated at a Christening God mother? I'm an atheist so I'm not particularly clued up on all the responsibilities that you signed up for with that agreement but I'm pretty sure there's a clause about moral guidance?

I'm not sure passive aggressively and silently withdrawing from your God-son while complaint about his rude manners is really hitting that target, is it?

Devil's advocate - given it doesn't sound like you explained the size you bought, isn't it rude of you not to know how old your own godson is?

Alternatively, she’s carefully researched the sizes!. In shops like Next and John Lewis, where they do a one year size (eg 8), they’re generally thought to be equivalent to the top end of the range (eg 7-8) somewhere like M&S or Boden uses. So it was the “correct” size, in that sense.

Really really rude.

My 10 year old wouldn't do that, nor would my 7 year old tbh.

There would be no further gifts from me tbh.

If you aren't close I'd just let the friendship lapse in that case.

And he loves clothes. He is just average size I would say for a 10 year old.

Devil's advocate - given it doesn't sound like you explained the size you bought, isn't it rude of you not to know how old your own godson is?

Why would you need to explain why you bought an item of clothing in a bigger size? It makes sense to buy jackets and coats in a bigger size as they go over the top of other items of clothing, and also means they will be used for longer as they're not outgrown as quickly.

Very rude. Shocking that he thinks that's an acceptable thing to write. I would definitely have sent a photo of the card to his parents.

Alternatively, she’s carefully researched the sizes!

She didn’t explain her thinking to him though. From his point of view, she bought the wrong size.

I'd reply, "Sorry I had forgotten that you were still so puny"

It was rude. Really rude. Please stop sending gifts.

This is so rude! Cheeky beggar. There’d be no more gifts from me after this. I would be horrified if one of my children did something like this. I would want to know though so I could have serious words with them

Why would you need to explain why you bought an item of clothing in a bigger size?

Because some kids have a very literal view of the world and would not necessarily understand an adult thought process here.

even though he isn’t a big child for his age

Is he noticeably smaller for his age? Devil's Advocate (and mother of an exceptionally tall boy who gets constant comments about it), if he's noticeably smaller, at 10, he might be getting crap at school about his height, and may have thought that you buying a jacket that was too large and for a year older was a shot at him?

Not excusing it, because it was rude, but if it not normal for him to be that way I would wonder....Kids can be weirdly sensitive about that stuff.

She didn’t explain her thinking to him though. From his point of view, she bought the wrong size.

But like I have already said there's no way all his clothing is age 10, it's mind-boggling that anyone would think this would need explaining to a 10 year old, age 5 sure but at 10 he will already understand that the age in his clothing doesn't always match his actual age.

I think I would have sent a pic of the card and a comment that you were surprised to receive it, and see what the mum says. I think it is exceptionally rude.

He he. I would be mad with my son if he sent that. A coat from next isn't cheap. Next time just send some choc or a token gesture. Kids can bring rye full but that is rude and he must know it. X

I usually send gift receipts with presents, my cousins' dcs are all tall. I wonder if he realised how rude it sounds or if he was disappointed it was too big.

@NataliaOsipova I don't disagree, but it seems like she didn't explain that and it turns out it doesn't fit. So perhaps he is upset, and reacted incorrectly.

I see I'm pretty much on my own on this one... as I said it my first post, there should be discipline from the mum, but I still think he should have it all explained to him rather than just stop sending presents.

@TheKeatingFive unless the kid is thick as two short planks he'll have come across the concept of buying clothing to grow into. And good manners.

I would be annoyed at such a cheeky response.

It depends what they're like generally. If as a family they're not appreciative of your presents, I wouldn't bother in future or just give a small gift.

However, I think it would be worth having a quiet word with him about why you bought the bigger size and how he should have written the card.

Teach him if his parents aren't.

@TheKeatingFive

He’s only 10. Obviously he didn’t handle it as well as you would have expected an adult to, but I think you should cut him some slack.

Being ten is plenty old enough to know that what he said was very rude and ungrateful.

I would ring his mum and tell her what the card said, although I would have thought she surely would have read what he wrote before posting it to you.