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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:

GlummyMcGlummerson · 07/12/2020 09:09

@TheKeatingFive by 10 they Should know better. It's not his fault though if he's been raised without manners. I don't agree a softly swiftly approach should ever be taken WRT bad manners TBH, it's not acceptable.

MummyofTw0 · 07/12/2020 09:10

How disgustingly rude of that child. I definitely would call the mother

Whatwouldyourmamado · 07/12/2020 09:10

OP must admit I haven't got time to do thank you cards. My children are only 1 and 3 but I have always made sure To send a thank you message or phone and at 3 due to Covid I filmed my dd opening each present and saying thank you to the sender which I then messaged to them. More efficient and cleaner (less post flying around) especially as many of the senders live a fair distance away.

Mischance · 07/12/2020 09:11

I do think that was very rude - if he is old enough to use sarcasm, then he is old enough to know that it is rude. I would tell him so.

TheKeatingFive · 07/12/2020 09:12

I don't agree a softly swiftly approach should ever be taken WRT bad manners TBH, it's not acceptable.

And I can’t imagine treating my own godchildren like this. Very glad I don’t live in your ‘one strike and they’re out’ world.

YoungScrappyHungry · 07/12/2020 09:12

So rude! I really hope his mum doesn't know.

SquirtleSquad · 07/12/2020 09:12

Is this really out of character for him/them?

yellowmaoampinball · 07/12/2020 09:12

The kid is old enough to understand and use sarcasm - he went out of his way to be rude. He didn't just blurt something out in the moment without thinking. No way can you excuse this with his age - it's absolutely horribly rude and bad behaviour for a 10 year old. I hope his mum comes down hard on this for his sake and the sake of everyone around him.

LittleMissLockdown · 07/12/2020 09:12

I'm amazed how low the expectation is for 10 year olds if some people genuinely don't think he understands that what he has written is rude.

Buying the jacket in age 11 is much more sensible as he will get more wear out of it, surely at 10 he understands that concept. I agree with you and certainly wouldn't be in a rush to get him a Christmas present.

TulipsTwoLips · 07/12/2020 09:13

Are you close to his parents? The relationship I had with them would massively affect how I handled this.

stairgates · 07/12/2020 09:13

I wouldn't buy a xmas gift either, that was shocking rude, he must be a right spoilt little brat to have that attitude about anything, my kids would have been over the moon and either would have looked forward to growing into it or sold it and bought the same jacket in the right size of ebay.

MaggieFS · 07/12/2020 09:13

@Highfivemum

i Have always sat down with my DC and got them to write a thank you card for any gift they receive. Not matter how small a gift or whether it is suitable. Not saying everyone should but to me it is manners. I would rather have had no card than the one I received to be honest. !

Devil's advocate - given it doesn't sound like you explained the size you bought, isn't it rude of you not to know how old your own godson is?

I'm not excusing what he said wholeheartedly, but he is ten, and he needs to be guided and educated, not punished/ given some passive aggressive reaction.

LauraMipsum · 07/12/2020 09:14

That's outrageously rude. You're right, Next does come up small, I'd have done the same.

Waveysnail · 07/12/2020 09:15

Does he think that you think he is age 11? Its not something I could get worked up at. 10 year old boys can be full of attitude. Mine have adhd with no filter. Guessing mum didnt check the card.

NataliaOsipova · 07/12/2020 09:16

The kid is old enough to understand and use sarcasm - he went out of his way to be rude. He didn't just blurt something out in the moment without thinking.

This is a good point actually. It would have been rude if he’d said it in the moment; got a bit overexcited and was disappointed when it wasn’t the right size. That said, you can see how it happens - we all blurt things out sometimes. But to sit down - at the age of 10 - and write that takes some time and some degree of thought. It was certainly done on purpose.

KatherineJaneway · 07/12/2020 09:16

That was very rude and definitely no slack should be given. I wouldn't buy him anything more unless he apologised.

Gumbo · 07/12/2020 09:16

I can't believe the posters saying cut him some slack etc - that's shockingly rude... and clearly not unintentionally so.

At his age my DC once was asked by his extremely wealthy Aunt what he wanted for Christmas; excitedly he asked for an X-box game (less than £20 so not too pricey). He was really looking forward to it - and was baffled when (in front of them) he opened his gift, only to discover a gaudy adult-sized Hawaiian shirt . To his credit, not only did he say thank you, he later wrote them a note thanking them for it. (In fairness, it was factual ie. thank you for the Hawaiian shirt' rather than gushing...)

Teaching children manners early on is surely a good thing.

LittleMissLockdown · 07/12/2020 09:17

Devil's advocate - given it doesn't sound like you explained the size you bought, isn't it rude of you not to know how old your own godson is?

But why would it need explaining. The likelihood that every item he owns and wears is age 10 is unfathomable. He will own clothing in a variety of sizes probably ranging from age 8 upwards depending on the brand and how they are cut to fit.

billy1966 · 07/12/2020 09:17

Shockingly rude.

His parents need to know.

I would describe that as really bratty behaviour.

WiseOwlWan · 07/12/2020 09:18

whatsapp a picture of his reply to his mum saying ''he will be 11 next year, OK!!!''

And then leave it.

boredinthouse · 07/12/2020 09:18

I can imagine a very literal and angry 10 year old being made to write cards could potentially do this without necessarily realising quite how rude it is. I think if his mum doesn't know then this could be a good way to teach him how to respond to receiving gifts. I would be annoyed but I don't think I could cut him off! If his mum knew then obviously that's a different story and it is incredibly rude.

BeardieWeirdie · 07/12/2020 09:18

Not buying him any more gifts in future is not “passive aggressive”, it’s a natural consequence of him being a little shit. I would be mortified if my child had written that. However his parents, given that they have raised a child with this attitude problem, may not.

Zebracat · 07/12/2020 09:18

That is appallingly rude and so entitled. No more presents! I really wouldn’t.

Taikoo · 07/12/2020 09:18

That's very, very rude.
I'd wipe the floor with him, if he was my child.

lottiegarbanzo · 07/12/2020 09:19

I'd phone the mother and have a conversation with her, of course.

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