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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
Lovaduck74 · 09/12/2020 14:30

She won't, because she knew exactly what he had written

KimchiLaLa · 09/12/2020 14:34

@Highfivemum

I think at 10 he shd no that it is rude ? To be honest I never usually get a thank you card so when I did I was pleased until I opened it. !!
Agree. I'm having an issue with my 11 yr old nephew atm. He is incredibly rude. SIL seemingly doesn't want to manage him. DH thinks he's "only 11". I think at that age I would have known better.
Heartlantern2 · 09/12/2020 14:39

I wouldn’t check a 10 year olds card, but then mine wouldn’t put something as rude as that!

No gift for Xmas!

Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 09/12/2020 14:41

Incredibly rude. And posters saying ‘aww he’s only 10, cut him some slack’. I wouldn’t have dreamt of sending a note like that to an adult who had bought me a gift when I was 10 and none of the children in my family would behave like that either. His mother should definitely be told so she knows what a rude, disrespectful child she has.

Bikingbear · 09/12/2020 14:54

Blue moon- mother read and facilitated posting

SchadenfreudePersonified · 09/12/2020 15:53

I think you've taken the right attitude OP.

Not to have sent the receipt would have effectively been to have snatched a gift back, and even in these circumstances it would have been unkind - as you say, he's a child and you want to keep the lines of communication open.

However not getting further presents will make him think about how he responds to people in future. Hopefully both he and his mother will learn from this.

BloggersBlog · 09/12/2020 18:17

@RealLifeHotWaterBottle

BloggersBlog frankly its ridiculous to tag me in a post about not reading the thread, when i clearly had and had posted before the OPs update.

If you're not embarrassed, I am for you. Had it been me, I'd have the grace to acknowledge it rather than another bitchy comment.

Grin embarrassed for me? Bless Grin
Bluemooninmyeyes1 · 09/12/2020 19:30

@Bikingbear ah sorry, had not RFT. If that’s the case then it’s clear where he got his spoilt, ungrateful attitude from. It’s disgusting that a parent would allow their child to send a note like that to another adult. OP, I would cut contact as they sound like a horrible family.

Changechangychange · 09/12/2020 20:46

@smilingontheinside

Agree to not sending anymore gifts. When my son was around 6 he was given a gift, opened it and thanked the giver very much". Later he brought it to me and said "I already have one if these mummy but it was nice of xx to buy it". He was so lovely, pity they grow up 😕
DS opened something from my aunt when he was two, and shouted “Look Mummy! Another Duplo aeroplane just like mine!!!”

(And actually he was so thrilled to have two that matched, we kept it Grin).

JaneM8888 · 10/12/2020 05:30

Personally, I would do nothing.

No contact, no Christmas gift, rien, nada.

Everyone is having a difficult time of it at the moment, so you don't need any more cr@ in your life from ungrateful, rude, brats.

He needs to learn some manners and if his parents can't teach him that isn't your problem.

Next time spend the money on your kids.

SHONNYSMUMMY · 10/12/2020 07:54

@Highfivemum 10 is more than older enough to know when your being rude. I wouldn't collect the jacket he will grow into it. But I would ring his mum and speak to him as he is your godson so you should he able to let him know that weren't acceptable and you won't be getting him another present till he finds his manners.

BeaLola · 10/12/2020 08:31

As a child my parents always insisted I sent proper thank you letters to everybody for gifts – my Dad would check them and I would have to write different things in each letter and be at least a page long ( I am is in my 50s).

My son has just turned 13 and I have always either done letters for him when he was very young or as he got older have asked him to do letters. Since he has had his phone (last two years) he sends texts instead/has phone calls with the gift giver to say thanks etc.

I have a goddaughter who is now in her 20s Every year I would send her presents for her birthday and Christmas and I've never received any acknowledgement of any sort . For her 18th birthday I sent her a cheque for £100 - it was cashed - i never received any acknowledgement either by post , by phone by email or by text . Now I just send her a card at Christmas & that's it.

user686833 · 10/12/2020 09:09

I haven't read the full thread but age 11 in next IS age 10-11. I would have sent a photo of the card to his parents and ask would you like the receipt to exchange. And if they weren't suitable mortified and had no idea I'd never buy for them again.

purpleme12 · 10/12/2020 09:15

I understand when people don't read the whole thread but surely people should read all OP's posts before commenting?!
When there's that button now that enables you to do this!

Scarby9 · 10/12/2020 09:23

My brother aged 5 had been told to look out of the window on his birthday morning. Unfortunately he woke earlier than our parents but woke us all up shouting 'Thank you - I've got (pause) half a climbing frame!'
Our parents had decided not to hang the swing in the (very basic - they had little money when we were young) frame until the morning to keep it dry and bird poo free for first use.
Children can and absolutely should be taught how to receive a gift politely.

Bikingbear · 10/12/2020 09:31

@user686833

I haven't read the full thread but age 11 in next IS age 10-11. I would have sent a photo of the card to his parents and ask would you like the receipt to exchange. And if they weren't suitable mortified and had no idea I'd never buy for them again.
Read the Ops posts!
user686833 · 10/12/2020 09:50

Ok, @bikingbear there is no function for me to only see the OP's posts. I've just scrolled through the 13 pages to read them all and my answer is still the same. I wanted to point out that she 11 in Next IS age 10-11. Loads of posts from people worn their opinion on next sizing. The OP didn't get the size wrong in the first place which makes the rude child even more rude. I think OP has handled it perfectly.

user686833 · 10/12/2020 09:51

31 pages even, not 13.

SoupDragon · 10/12/2020 09:58

and my answer is still the same

Even the bit about sending a picture of what he wrote given that the mother saw it before it was sent and approved it?

SoupDragon · 10/12/2020 10:01

there is no function for me to only see the OP's posts

If you're on the iOS app you click on the < by the OP's post and choose filter.
If you're on the desktop site you click "see all" that appears on all the OP's posts. Mobile site appears to be the same.

user686833 · 10/12/2020 10:08

@SoupDragon yes, I said 'I WOULD have', not 'I think you should', assuming the OP had already replied at this point. So yes, my reply would have been the same.

Bikingbear · 10/12/2020 10:30

User the issue isn't the size. The issue it the mum knew what he'd written before she posted it. Shes also suggesting items from his Christmas list. But has never spent a penny on the Ops 6 kids!

Mcnotty · 10/12/2020 11:22

@Nanny0gg Continue making a pratt of yourself instead of acknowledging you’ve been rather silly in not reading the full thread that’s gone on for pages after the initial OP. There’s always one or two Hmm.

SoupDragon · 10/12/2020 11:24

[quote user686833]@SoupDragon yes, I said 'I WOULD have', not 'I think you should', assuming the OP had already replied at this point. So yes, my reply would have been the same.[/quote]
You would have sent a picture of the message to the mother who you already knew had seen it and approved it? Really?

CoraPirbright · 10/12/2020 11:45

OP do let us know what fall out there is from the non-Christmas present. A useful lesson for this rude brat (and for his equally rude mother).