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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
Porridgeoat · 09/12/2020 07:39

Do one of those non present late each year. A donation to a children’s fund or donkey sanctuary in his name until he starts to be polite

icedgem85 · 09/12/2020 07:47

What a horrible kid. Ignore people saying cut him some slack. My 5 year old received a gift for his birthday and said thank you he loves it and then told me after he'd opened two of the same thing but he did love it and wanted them to know he was happy with it. I quietly regifted one of them and gave him the equivalent money to buy a toy with on a day out. Both sets of grandparents are happy because they both think they gave him his favourite toy - and they did! Point being, even at 5 he knew not to be ungrateful as it would hurt their feelings.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 09/12/2020 07:53

[quote Mcnotty]**@NannyOggsWhiskyStash* @RealLifeHotWaterBottle* You both clearly haven’t read the thread at all have you past first post? OP already said the boy’s mum knew.[/quote]
Oh do one please, some of us are working late, so just bookmark it to come back to later. Always one isn't there on mumsnet who feels duty bound to be sniffy. The op didn't say anything so why did you? Are you a curtain twitcher at home?

LadyEloise · 09/12/2020 08:35

Love your reply @BikingBear.

I think the OP was too nice in her reply.

RealLifeHotWaterBottle · 09/12/2020 08:39

@BloggersBlog @McNotty
Had either of you read the full thread you'd have spotted my comment on the first page posted before the OP confirmed the mother had read the card.

Go and embarrass yourselves with your bitchy mistakes elsewhere

Notthe9oclocknewsathon · 09/12/2020 08:48

I have kids with ASD, so I would have laughed honestly. Kids are famed for their honesty Grin.
Almost certainly he didn’t show his mum.
Just send a text to the mum saying “kids hey!”. She will apologise and explain to her son I’m sure.
It’s not a personal slight.

LadyEloise · 09/12/2020 08:56

Read the thread @Notthe9oclocknewsathon.
The Mum knew !!!!

winniestone37 · 09/12/2020 09:08

That is rude!! Could he be on the spectrum?! A kid I worked with was like this. Also he’s ten maybe have a wee chat with him and explain why it upset you and hopefully it’ll help him be a better person. 🤷‍♀️

winniestone37 · 09/12/2020 09:11

Honestly some of the comments on here 🤦‍♀️😂 Mumsnetters can be vile. He’s a kid, help him do better. No doubt he’ll grow up and you can laugh about it together. As for the pragging on how great your kid’s are - oh please 🤦‍♀️

SoupDragon · 09/12/2020 09:35

He’s a kid

What is his mother's excuse?

No doubt he’ll grow up and you can laugh about it together.

I doubt it given his mother's example.

pastandpresent · 09/12/2020 09:57

"What is his mother's excuse?"

There is no excuse for mother. She is an adult. But for 10 years old, indeed he is just a kid without proper role model. I do despair to see the comment calling him names and to punish him by not giving him anymore presents. Op can guide him if she wants to as a god mother, instead of write him off as spoilt brat. It's sad that you will be denied any ways to change to be a better person, if you happened to be born to a horrible parents.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 09/12/2020 10:17

If there is any comment on it I would just tell him and his mother straight that there will be no gifts of any kind until they both learn not to be rude and ungrateful. I'd stop seeing him too, personally and tell them that you don't want your own children to start copying his disgraceful manners and attitude but obviously that's your choice.

Bikingbear · 09/12/2020 10:47

pastandpresent

Why should the Godmother keep giving gifts to this child, shes getting nothing but cheek in return. With 6 kids of her own I'm surprised she even has spare money to go and buy jackets for another child.
All other relationships have broken down. There's no mutual respect here either.

pastandpresent · 09/12/2020 11:03

Bikingbear, I am not saying she should just keep giving gifts. What I am saying is if she will stop, she has a choice to tell him why. Just stop sending gift because he was rude without telling him why won't teach him anything. And from the sound of his mother, he doesn't have any good role models to teach him how to grow up to be a good adult, there will be another child lost an opportunity to learn about how to be a good person. I just find it sad, that is all.

CorianderQueen · 09/12/2020 11:15

Tell his mum he probably sealed it without reading

CorianderQueen · 09/12/2020 11:17

Although tbh I wouldn't buy a 10yo clothing for his birthday. How boring. Still unforgivably rude!

BloggersBlog · 09/12/2020 12:25

[quote RealLifeHotWaterBottle]**@BloggersBlog* @McNotty*
Had either of you read the full thread you'd have spotted my comment on the first page posted before the OP confirmed the mother had read the card.

Go and embarrass yourselves with your bitchy mistakes elsewhere[/quote]
Nah, you're alright, I'll stay here and "embarrass" myself . But thanks for ordering me off the thread Grin

gerorf my land

MummyMayo1988 · 09/12/2020 12:32

I would be fuming if my child said anything like that! And I imagine mum doesn't know!
Speak to her. She may be very upset about it and deal with her child's behaviour.

ContessaDiPulpo · 09/12/2020 12:34

I think 'Tell his mum' is the new 'Cancel the cheque' Grin

Danascully2 · 09/12/2020 12:35

This is awful behaviour. I have already had several conversations with my 6 year old about being grateful for gifts even if we don't like them/already have them etc. Have also had conversations about not expecting presents from a particularly doting relative everytime they visit (they do normally bring something but I want him to appreciate it, not expect it). A response sending you some things from his Christmas list is so so greedy and rude. Nobody should be requesting things unless the giver has specifically asked for ideas.

Bikingbear · 09/12/2020 12:45

@ContessaDiPulpo

I think 'Tell his mum' is the new 'Cancel the cheque' Grin
It mental how many people haven't even read the Ops posts or even a page worth.

The mum knew and posted it. Even had the cheek to say buy Nike instead!

I actually think it says it all,that nobody can believe that she knowingly posted it.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 09/12/2020 13:35

@BloggersBlog Get outta ma pub!!

RealLifeHotWaterBottle · 09/12/2020 13:42

BloggersBlog frankly its ridiculous to tag me in a post about not reading the thread, when i clearly had and had posted before the OPs update.

If you're not embarrassed, I am for you. Had it been me, I'd have the grace to acknowledge it rather than another bitchy comment.

Lovaduck74 · 09/12/2020 14:17

@CorianderQueen

Tell his mum he probably sealed it without reading
The mum knew
tallduckandhandsome · 09/12/2020 14:28

My DC usually say comments like «no we can’t go there as we have a baby» or «No we have to go home now as X needs a nap».

Your kids sound lovely. Smile

My line would be i was disappointed as I had made the effort and I know your love of clothes. Not sure what I will say to the mum though😳

I would either be honest and say you were disappointed at the reaction from her to the gift, especially as they don't buy for your own kids, or I guess you could say it's expensive bringing up 6 kids so you have had to stop doing gifts?