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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to buy gift for rude godson! Who wld u blame

795 replies

Highfivemum · 07/12/2020 08:46

It was my Godson birthday two weeks ago. I bought him a lovely jacket from Next. It was the type I see him wear. I bought him age 11 as even though he isn’t a big child for his age Next in my mind is small fitting and rather bigger than smaller. I ordered online and then wrapped and messaged his mum to say his gift was their porch. I didn’t hear anything. Then this morning I received a card from him. It said “ thank you for the present that didn’t Fit ! I am 10 not 11 OK!!!!!! “
That was it. I was shocked to be honest. Must have read the card over and over again.
His mum has not said anything to me. I could have exchanged it.
His mum must have sent the card though surely. ?? whether she knew wot was written I don’t know.
I have said to my DH I am not buying a Christmas gift. DH said he is a child and not to get wound up. WWYD?

OP posts:
Sleeeeeeeeeeep · 08/12/2020 19:37

@Highfivemum

I think at 10 he shd no that it is rude ? To be honest I never usually get a thank you card so when I did I was pleased until I opened it. !!
I would approach it by speaking to his mum and say that you are sorry if you had got the wrong size and that if she had mentioned you would of organised an exchange, but that you feel hurt that she couldn’t speak to you and you had to find out by a “thank you card”
Luddite26 · 08/12/2020 19:42

I actually shouted out Fucking hell! reading what he had put. Personally i wouldn't be bothering with this set of ass holes again. But i am an atheist so it depends how you see your god mother role.
They obviously have no respect for you. I don't think sending a card and no gift is the right way. To me it would either be a fuck you then or just continue but not spend as much (£10 book token). There isn't much point trying to get through to the kid when his mother is taking the piss out of you. Telling you he likes Nike and offering xmas list up to you.
I would be NC afrer that.

WiddlinDiddlin · 08/12/2020 19:42

I would send him a card adn a note...

Dear 'LittleShit',

Happy Christmas, I hope you are well.

You will notice that you don't have a present from me this year. This is because the last gift I gave you, you were rude about in your thankyou note.
Since I am your Godmother it is part of my role to help educate you and since your Mother hasn't explained this to you, obviously someone else needs to tell you. If you send rude notes, you may not get further presents!

I can appreciate you may not have realised this, but hopefully now you know you will do better.

My gift to you this Christmas is the gift of understanding manners and gratitude.

Happy Christmas,
PissedOffGodmother

angelfacecuti75 · 08/12/2020 19:45

He is a kid. Talk to the mum about why you are upset by this. . She can speak to him then. She may not know.

Peppermintpatty24 · 08/12/2020 19:46

I wouldn't buy him a Xmas present. Yes, he's a child, but OLD ENOUGH to have MANNERS.

MrsKingfisher · 08/12/2020 19:49

I'd have text back, let me collect it and I'll exchange it then get a refund and not bother.

Get him a bit of personalised coal for Christmas.

EugenesAxe · 08/12/2020 19:53

Rude and slightly dim... does he not see the vast differences in size between children in his year at school? Some children in Year 6 I reckon could be in size 13-14 clothes, or more! Certainly I know some of my friends' Y6 kids have size 6/7 feet Confused

LILLYPRINT · 08/12/2020 19:53

While we don't have any children, i have sisters, nieces and nephews who also have children of their own. Christmas can be rather expensive. I have never and would never buy a gift with the expectation of getting one in return. However, as some of the family have grown up, i have noticed over the past couple of year, we don't get so much as a thank you or acknowledgement of a gift we send to them. So, this year, i have contacted them all and asked them not to spend their money on buying anything for us this year ( not that some of them do anyway), i have explained we will not be buying presents for anyone this year, instead we are going to make a donation to the John Taylor Hospice.

Owl55 · 08/12/2020 19:54

Send the card back and say so sorry ,can you advise what sizeI should buy!!! Maybe mum and dad will be shocked at their little ungrateful brat!

IHateCoronavirus · 08/12/2020 19:58

Bloody hell what an entitled brat. And the mother!
You, on the other hand, sound lovely op Flowers

FreshFreesias · 08/12/2020 19:58

I hope you never give him another present. What a spoilt brat!

CandyLeBonBon · 08/12/2020 20:25

@Owl55

Send the card back and say so sorry ,can you advise what sizeI should buy!!! Maybe mum and dad will be shocked at their little ungrateful brat!
Mum was aware of what was written!
smilingontheinside · 08/12/2020 20:26

Agree to not sending anymore gifts. When my son was around 6 he was given a gift, opened it and thanked the giver very much". Later he brought it to me and said "I already have one if these mummy but it was nice of xx to buy it". He was so lovely, pity they grow up 😕

Arthersleep · 08/12/2020 20:37

I would have asked her to post it back to you on the pretence of returning it and exchanging it for the exact Nike jacket that he wanted. And then never send it. That would really annoy him.

Duemarch2021 · 08/12/2020 20:39

Ohhhhhhhh!!!!! Hahaaaa!! No way would i be buying a present!!! Yes hes a child... but he is old enough to know better and to know thats extremely rude! .. id have also expected a thank you from mum, maybe a text or call.. sounds a bit weird ... id keep my distance if i were you.. and when she does get in touch id mention the card

roxanne119 · 08/12/2020 20:39

Manners cost nothing . Collect it donate it draw a line under it . Don’t buy anything for the ungrateful little retch again 😳

Badgerstmary · 08/12/2020 20:41

If the clothing said age 11 on it that is actually the same as age 10-11 so actually his age. I would be horrified if any of my dc had written that at that age. Is he NC? I only ask this as my dn does not understand social niceties & one year at Christmas informed my dk that she didn’t like any of her presents. My dsister was mortified! (Dn has since learnt what not to say) Good luck.

Wilkie1956mog · 08/12/2020 20:42

It's rude. I would phone and ask to speak to him. Tell him you are sorry the jacket didn't fit but you could have easily changed it. And tell him you were upset by what he wrote. Discuss.

Rose87777 · 08/12/2020 20:44

All the people saying “to be fair clothing isn’t a very good gift for a 10 year old boy” Confused. Think you need to look up the definition of gift!

Vinomummyinlockdown · 08/12/2020 20:52

Wow that’s goddam rude. My son is 9 a d would never dream of writing that. My daughter is just 11 and would never in a million years write that!!!!
I would never let either one send a card without checking it first anyway so this is outrageous!!!! Screw Xmas for your grandson - rude little so and so!!!! No gift for him

LovelyIssues · 08/12/2020 20:53

YANBU! My daughter is the same age and wouldn't dare say anything like that to an adult and I would hope would not be ungrateful enough to even think like that Shock

vulvacious · 08/12/2020 20:53

My six year old would know not to write that. And I'd definitely know not to send it.
They're taking the piss.
I'd only send a card for Christmas. And then it'd be from an old nunty Woolworths multipack that's been in the loft for 20yrs. With a robin on or some Victorian carol singers on it.

Celestine70 · 08/12/2020 20:56

I don't know why you are blaming him. His mother is obviously a bad example and hasn't taught him manners. She has gaslighted you saying you made a mistake when I think it is pretty normal to size up. Did you explain to her you knew he was ten?

Oooohbehave · 08/12/2020 21:00

OP, until I read your updates I was certain that his mum didn't know what he'd written and would be horrified when she found out. The fact that she not only knows, but thinks this is perfectly reasonable speaks volumes about where he gets his rudeness from. I have an 8 and a 10 year old and if they were this rude they would get a monumental bollocking. If you're not friends with this woman I'd personally cut contact. CF of the highest order.

Sendintheclown · 08/12/2020 21:10

@Highfivemum I don’t understand why you are continuing to take him out. I’m sure he has a family and friends who will be doing so, you seem to think it’s your responsibility to take him for nice days out like he’s your ward? Regardless of the mums responsibility, a child you yourself state, you have taken out many times for nice days chose to write down and send you that. 10 or not that was his choice, that’s what he thinks of your relationship to him. You sound like a lovely person but don’t spend any more time or money on him, like you say you have 6 of your own.